This Real Life Just Isn't Right
by treehiller23
Summary: It's been years since the former core five walked the halls of Tree Hill High, now it's their kids turn. And let's just say the drama doesn't fall far from the tree.
1. Sounds So Good

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill. I seriously wish I did, that would just make my life complete.**

**Music in this chapter: **Chapter title is a song by Steve Carlson, the song Dani sings to baby Jessie is We are One from the Lion King, the band plays Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects and I Feel Like Dancin' and Stella by All Time Low*(note all future songs they perform will also be by All Time Low)

**AN: Hope everyone enjoys the new story. Can't wait for some awesome feedback. **

Sounds So Good

As Jude Baker locked his bedroom door, a wave of relief flowed through him. For it to work he needed to be alone. And since he had woken up this morning he hadn't had a moment to himself. Since school didn't start for another week, his mom had him working most of the day. His time was split today between the Karen's café and Bakerman, which was less than awesome. After the day he had, he really needed this.

He rolled his sleeve up to his elbow taking in the sight. He'd already done this three times today, sneaking off when he could during his shifts. He knew if he wasn't careful someone might notice, but he couldn't stop. The twenty or so rubber bands around his wrist called out to him, begging to be used. It was getting harder and harder to convince himself he didn't have a problem, to pretend everything was okay. He pressed the back of his head into the thick oak door. Clenching his fist he slammed it into the frame. That was the good thing about his house, since it was so big the chance that someone was outside the door listening in was unlikely.

He linked four of the bands around his finger pulling them back as far as he could. He took a deep breath, hesitating. He didn't want this. He never wanted it. He just wanted to feel something, something other than the gnawing emptiness in his core. Giving in to his need he let the bands hit skin in a surging pain, rippling through his body, and he released his breath.

The sensation that came comforted him, more than anything in his life ever came close to. When he was growing up, Jude could tell his parents tried. They tried to be equal and fair to both him and his twin brother, Davis. But he could always just tell. They were a little over attentive to Davis. If he had a cough or a sniffle, they would panic. Jude could see the look in his mother's eyes like somehow this thing could make her lose her little boy. He didn't understand why his parents seemed more worried about his brother than him. The feeling only grew when the Baker's adopted his little sister Gray. Because then they had Davis to worry about and Gray to get settled into her new life, making him feel more and more like an outsider in his own family.

So this was how he got out all the pain. Sometimes he could go days without it, but he always came back, usually the need was stronger than before too. As the pain finished washing over him, he took another deep breath, holding back tears. There was no point to this exercise if he started crying. He had to keep to it himself. If his family ever found out, they would blame themselves. Jude didn't want that and he knew it would only make things worse.

"Jude," Brooke called through the door. "Dinner time."

"Be right out," He called out as he yanked his sleeve down. He couldn't risk his mother seeing the welt on his arm. She'd ask questions he wasn't ready to face up to.

He opened the door and flashed a grin. The same grin his father used on her all the time. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" she asked, resting a hand on his cheek. "You ran up here pretty fast."

"Yea, I'm fine. I just had to check on Salazar's sun lamp," he said pointing to the turtle's tank. "It was acting kind of weird this morning."

"Between your turtle and your brother's spider I have no clue how I sleep at night," she joked.

"At least my pet is like me, mellow and laid back. Not creepy and full of poison like Davis and Hector."

"I thought you and your brother were working through whatever your issues are."

"What issues, I have no issues," he replied giving her a weak smile.

"Fine have it your way. Your father and I can't force you two to get along."

"I know you want us to be the best of friends but we're too different. And we just don't agree on certain things. We never will."

Jude didn't see it. How could Davis and he have been born on the same day to the same people? They weren't anything alike, apart from their eyes. They both resembled Brooke's so much. Other than that Jude found very little in common with his brother. And after Davis started dating Lydia Scott, he stopped trying.

His twin knew how he felt about the girl. Because aside from Lydia everyone knew Jude had had a crush on her from the age of five. But he had been biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment. Then of course right when he decided to make his move Davis came, flashing a look that he most certainly got from their mother. Lydia found him charming, as all the girls did, and they started dating later that week. That was two months ago, making this one of the most nauseatingly agonizing summers of Jude's life. Absentmindedly he touched his wrist. That's when it started, the over whelming desire to inflict pain on himself. He had been over shadowed by his brother once again and it was just too much this time.

"I give up," she said holding her hands up in surrender. "Now go wash up for dinner."

She kissed his cheek before walking off. As he crossed towards the bathroom, a swish of fabric dashed in front of him slamming the door. He heard giggling from inside.

"Come on Gray, I need in there," he shouted, as his fist banged against the cool wood.

"Snooze you lose," she called back, mockingly.

"Why can't you use your bathroom?"

"The plumber never came today; Daddy said I can't use it until they figure out what's wrong. Now leave me be. I'll be out in a minute."

He leaned beside the door frame, silently counting to ten. He wasn't going to get mad at his little sister, even though she could be a royal pain in his ass sometimes. But she was only twelve; it wasn't like she could help being annoying. Okay maybe she could, but sometimes he did find it adorable. Mostly, that only occurred when she was inflicting her annoyance on Davis.

As he looked up he groaned. "Speak of the devil." He mumbled to himself.

Davis was walking towards him a smirk plastered on his face. He looked so cocky, so sure of himself. It disgusted Jude, that he could actually be related to someone so infuriating.

"What do you want?" Jude growled, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Logan just texted me. Since Quinn's still out of town he wants to have band practice tonight. He says he has some new songs he wants us to learn before Katie's party next week," Davis replied retaining the amused look on face.

"Mom just called dinner; no way will she let us leave."

"Well I just asked her. And though upset, she was very understanding, so get your ass in gear and let's go," he said motioning to the stairs. "Unless, you'd rather drive yourself and pollute the earth more?"

Jude closed his eyes knocking his head into the wall. As much as he hated his brother's pompous attitude he had promised Lydia he'd be more earth friendly. She'd watched a documentary about a month ago on greener living and made all her friends and family swear to be more conscious of the choices they made. Davis knew this too. As her boyfriend she made him promise to be her eyes and ears on the subject if she was ever indisposed. So Davis was most likely just trying to get under his skin.

The bathroom opened and Gray came out smiling. "Can I come too?"

"Maybe next time short stop," Davis replied, mussing up her hair. "Not tonight though."

"Hey hands off the do dude," she commented.

"Give me five minutes to get ready," Jude said, entering the bathroom.

As he closed the bathroom door, he let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. If he was going to stand a 15 minute car ride over to Logan's house with Davis he was going to need another snap of his rubber bands; this one more intense than before.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Sawyer Scott frantically ran around her room tossing clothes all around. How was it that on any given day she could just throw on some jeans and an old T-shirt and feel totally confident and ready to go, but the second Logan Evans called she felt like some stupid groupie? She was starting to feel like she had reached the end of her rope with this crush. It was one thing to like the guy; it was another game all together to change your outfit 27 times.

"Mom," she whined, hoping her plea would carry down the hall, and was instantly gratified when Peyton pushed the door open.

"Whoa," her mom commented surveying the room. "I was wondering when the Brooke in your name would start to kick in, and I'm sad to say it does not disappoint."

"Funny," Sawyer replied clutching clothes with both fists. "Logan called a band practice and I can't figure out what to wear, which is insane because it's not like anyone will notice anyway."

She fell back on her bed burying herself in the entirety of her wardrobe. "I'm pathetic."

"You are not pathetic," Peyton said, pulling the tops off her daughters face. "A little over zealous maybe."

"I don't know what to do. I've know Logan, like forever. He's my best friend, and now I just feel clumsy and awkward around him all the time."

"Awe baby that means you've got it bad," she said stroking her daughter's wavy hair. "Maybe I can help."

Sawyer sat up giving her mom a quizzical look. "You have a potion that will make my feelings for Logan disappear?"

"If only matters of the heart were that easy. I mean I can help you pick an outfit."

She stood and began rummaging through the pile spread across Sawyer's floor.

"Did you ever get like this when you and Dad were dating?" Sawyer asked but instantly regretted it. She was afraid talking about her father might upset Peyton. Even though it had been almost seven years since Lucas passed away, she still felt like her mom was stuck waiting for him to return.

It took a long moment for her mother to respond, but when she did Sawyer could hear the distance in her voice. "Nah, I was more girly before we actually started dating. Once I had him I didn't feel the need to try so hard."

Sawyer picked at the edge of her comforter, holding back the tears. It was still hard for her too. Sure she had plenty of father figures in her life. Her Uncle Nathan, Julian, Clay, Mouth, even Skills, but she'd trade all of them in just to have her dad back.

"And here we are," Sawyer was drawn back by her mom's voice. "We have black leggings, a light denim skirt, paired with a red jersey knit tunic tank, and your red converse high tops."

She gaped at her mom. "I've been staring at that pile for twenty minutes and you came up with an entire outfit in three? How is that fair?"

"Sometimes, you just need perspective," she replied kissing the top of Sawyer's head. "Now get ready or you'll be late for practice."

As her mom exited the room, Sawyer picked up the tattered book sitting on her bedside table, and held it close to her heart. She remembered the day her father had given it to her. He was so eager to have her read it and experience the world through this particular story. But Sawyer wasn't much of a reader back then. She never really got into it the way her father had. So when she was presented with the book she just kind of left it on the dining table and told her dad she'd check it out later.

If she had known what that moment meant to her father, she wouldn't have brushed it off so quickly. But no one knew what was really going on back then. No one caught the quiet exchanges between Peyton and Lucas, or the worried looks that would cross his wife's face every time he would horse around with his nieces and nephews. No one knew because Lucas didn't want to worry them, not until he was ready. Unfortunately for his family, that meant when the time had come to say goodbye there actually wasn't much time at all.

Normally when she got to thinking about her father she'd pull out _An Unkindness of Ravens_, and tried to read it from start to finish without stopping. She realized a year or two after he died what giving her the book had meant to him. Lucas had known he didn't have much time left and before he was gone he wanted to share his life and passions with his only daughter. But she had been too young, too distracted to get it and now it was too late. Since she knew she was already running late for practice, she'd have to settle for listening to the audio book on her iPod. So she threw her clothes on, splashed a bit of makeup on her face, and tossed her wallet and song folder in her purse. As she went to leave her room, she took four steps backwards. She had almost left without the most important thing. Her guitar.

It was an aqua blue that darkened as it reached the edges, with black strides riding up towards the neck. And she treasured it almost as much as her father's book.

She left her room, making her down the stairs towards her mother on the couch.

"How do I look?" She asked striking a very rock star pose.

"Like you just threw on the first thing you found in your closet. The 'whatever' look really sells it."

"Thanks I learned from the best."

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm the best," Peyton smiled coyly.

"I know I was talking about Aunt Lily," she joked.

"You better get out of here, before I decided to go all parental and ground you from band practice," her mother replied, turning her attention back to the sketch in her lap.

Sawyer rolled her eyes. "I promise if I'm out passed curfew I'll sneak in through the window."

"And I promise if you miss curfew, your Mustang keys will mysteriously disappear for two weeks."

Sawyer leaned in hugging her mom, as she turned she noticed the sketch her mom was working on. "New inspiration?"

She felt like the figure was familiar, but she couldn't place a name.

"Um, revisiting an old one. Nostalgia got the better of me."

"Well have fun, love you," She called out as she left the house.

Peyton looked back down at her work. Lately she'd been missing the man in the drawing, wondering how life would have been if she had chosen differently. Would she still have her beautiful daughter? Or Red Bedroom? One thing she knew for sure, if she had chose Jake at least he'd still be here.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Lydia Scott was certain she was going to ace her start of term exams. She had made sure she covered everything on her summer reading list, even a few things from the previous years. If there was one thing she was certain about it was her preparedness. Considering everything else in her life seemed to be in a constant chaotic mess, it was reassuring to know she had school down pat.

At Oppenheimer School for the Gifted, they expected nothing less than the exceedingly best, and for the last ten years that is exactly what Lydia had given them. She was in the top three percentile of her class, maintained a 4.00 GPA, and was president of the debate team, Young Historians, the geology club, and the astronomy club. But none of those made her happy. Of course she loved getting good grades and learning new facts, but all the rest of it just seemed like stuff to pad out her transcript. There wasn't any real fun involved in them. For the last decade that seemed okay with her too. She would do well in school, make her parents proud, and then she'd be off to the Ivy League. Yale, Princeton, Georgetown, it really didn't matter as long as all her hard work paid off. But ever since last spring things had started to change.

The shift wasn't just in her personal feelings either, she could also feel it ripple through her family. It started around the time her youngest sister was born, the latest in the growing Scott brood. Jessica Quinn Scott was the sixth and finale child of Nathan and Haley Scott. After she was born in late April things became different in the Scott house, particularly with Lydia's mom. Haley didn't really show an interest in her new daughter like she had with her pervious children. She seemed almost petrified of the infant. She'd go days without holding Jessie and when she did cradle her Haley would get instantly stressed out when she couldn't calm the baby down.

Lydia started to get scared for her mom. Sure Jamie was home now helping out, but what happened when the season started and the Bobcats needed their point guard back? Who would help Haley take care of the baby then? The worst part was her dad didn't seem to see it. He told Lydia she was being paranoid, that Haley just had to adjust to having a baby in the house again. Then the incident happened.

It was near the end of May and Lydia had just finished her last exam of the school year. The cool thing about going to a private school was when you finished you tests you didn't have to wait around for everyone else to finish. She was more than ready to blow this scene for the entire summer. She'd just drop by her house real quick then go hang at Karen's Café until her friends got out of school.

Her mom and little sisters would be the only one's home when she got there, because Danielle had been sick that morning, Jamie went on Luca's first grade field trip to Julian's Studio, and her dad had three client meetings this afternoon.

When she came in the front door, she could feel that the vibe was off. The down stairs was way too quiet, but she could hear her baby sister's cries from the next floor. As she climbed up the level she listened closely. She could hear Dani singing in the nursery just under Jessie's wails.

"_Tears of pain, tears of joy__, __One thing nothing can destroy__, __Is our pride, deep inside__, __We are one," _Dani stopped singing when she heard the door creak open and relief flooded her features when she saw her older sister standing there.

"Thank god you're home. She won't stop crying."

Lydia came over picking the baby up, and rocking her gently.

"Where's mom?" she asked, but Dani didn't answer.

Lydia shook herself out of the memory. She didn't like to think about that day, or the days that followed. The events that took place then had changed her family permanently.

As she tried to concentrate on her studies, she heard a knock.

"Come in," she called, shifting towards the door.

"Hey there Bobby bear," Nathan replied leaning against the door frame.

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Really Dad, I thought we talked about the nickname thing?"

"You said I couldn't call you that in public," he noted, taking a step or two in her room. "And you will never out grow being my Bobby bear."

She shook her head smirking. As embarrassing as could be, she wouldn't trade him in for anything. When she was younger she had looked up to her mom, but over the last few months her father had become this sort of super human in her eyes. She had no idea how he did everything without crumbling. He was truly inspiring.

"So what are your plans for the night?" Nate asked sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Come on Dad, you were a teenager once... what do any of us do on a Friday night?" Nathan shuddered, making Lydia almost positive he was recounting his own high school escapades. "I'm studying verb conjugations in preparation for my beginning of term Spanish test on Monday... What were YOU thinking?"

"Honestly, anything but that." He replied, as the shared a laugh. "Seriously though, you've been at this for like six hours. Even geniuses need study breaks."

"Dad the first test of the year can set your tone for the entire semester. I can't flake on this. I am this close," she holds up two fingers bringing them within centimeters of each other, "to being ahead of Dane Samuels and Clare Macron for valedictorian."

"Lydia, you're sixteen. Shouldn't you be worry about your friends, and your… Davis?" he refrained from gagging on the boy's name.

She had heard it from him all before. How Davis wasn't good enough for her and how he would break her heart. According to Nate the two had nothing in common. She was smart and kind. And Davis was a teenage miscreant. She reminded him that Haley had mentioned on several occasions that he and Davis were a lot alike, to which Nathan would muttered, "Exactly my point."

"Can't you just say the word? I think you might feel better if you do," she said gauging his reaction.

"And I think if you want to refrain from your old man having a heart attack, we should get off this topic."

"You brought it up," she replied, as she turned back to her books.

"So, if you didn't have your books would that make studying harder?" She could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

"I don't know Dad, can you play basketball without a ball?" she retorted.

Just then Nathan reached downing grabbing the book from her.

"Dad?" she whined.

"You've got too much of your mom in you sometimes, baby," he answered holding the book just out of her reach. "You're a kid, sometimes you gotta act like it."

"I guess I can go to Logan's and watch the band practice," she said glaring at him. "But just so you know I'm doing this under protest, and I will want my book back when I get home."

"As long as you're home after 11:30 you can have it back."

"I can't wait to see my _boyfriend_," she added.

Nathan gave her a pained look. "Are you trying to kill me?"

She laughed. "Just think in two years Dani will start dating too."

He pointed to the door, "Go, young lady, before I ground you from your books for a week."

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Logan Evans was tuning his guitar when he heard the side door to the garage open.

"Hey Wolverine, need anything?" His father asked.

He smiled at Clay. In spite of all the bad things that had happened to him so early on in his life, he would never want to change them. Because all the grief and longing for a normal life and family, had been exactly what he needed to survive until the universe gave him everything he was looking for. Now he had his dad, and a mom, and a family. He had aunts, uncles, and cousins. He had a whole life that made him smile every day.

"I'm good Dad. Shouldn't you be waiting for Mom's call?" he asked, setting his guitar on its stand. "Don't you two have this sickening sweet night time ritual?"

"Yes, but your mom's visiting this tribe near Nairobi, and apparently they shun modern technology. So no phone calls until she's closer to civilization," he replied taking a seat behind the drums.

"No offence Mr. Evans," Clay and Logan both turned at the sound of the voice. "But if you break my drums I will hold it against you."

The Baker twins had just entered the garage, and Davis rolled his eyes. "You are so lame."

"So was that insult," Jude retorted.

"Shut it."

"Why don't you?"

"God you're both idiots," Sawyer said coming up behind them, causing Logan to smile. She was the only one who could get them to stop arguing, and he silently thanked her as she came over setting up her own guitar.

"Alrighty I will leave you four to it," Clay said getting up to leave. "Unless you need an impartial person to bounce song ideas off of?"

Sawyer, Davis, and Jude looked at Clay, trying to judge the seriousness of his words, but Clay just laughed. "All right, I'm gonna go watch sports highlights and try to remember a time when my son and his friends actually thought I was cool."

Logan rolled his eyes as his father left the room. "Alright, guys let's start with Dirty Little Secret, just to get us in the zone."

After the first song they just rolled into their current set. They played I Feel Like Dancin' right into Stella, topping off with Lost in Stereo. Somewhere between the final chorus of Stella and the second verse in Lost in Stereo, Logan noticed Lydia had wandered in. Not that Lydia hadn't been at practice many times over the last few years, but lately it had been different. The tension between the Baker twins had only seemed worse to him since the beginning of the summer when Davis and Lydia started dating. Jude was always glaring and his attitude seemed to ripple through the music and not always in the best ways.

As they hit the last note, Logan turned to his band mates. "Sawyer awesome solo in DLS. Totally well timed. Davis, steady the beat more in Stella, I felt it was getting a little too choppy. As for Jude, if you beat those things any harder they will become very expensive, broken drums so ease up a bit."

Jude rolled his eyes. "We done yet?"

"Not yet," Logan replied, Logan grabbed some papers off his music stand. "I got three new songs I want you guys to practice before next Friday. We actually got the gig for Katie Sunders back to school party. It's not a full set though. She mentioned something about DJing too."

Jude took a stapled set out of Logan's hands, and got up to leave.

"Hey you," Lydia said catching his arm as he walked to the door.

"Hey Lyds," he replied looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Wanna hang, we could all go to the Rivercourt?" she asked smiling brightly.

"Can't sorry." And with that he walked out, leaving Lydia with a crest fallen look on her face. Logan could tell she didn't understand why Jude seemed to be pushing her away.

Logan wanted to explain it to her but he and Sawyer had made a pact not to get in the middle of their friends love lives, unless the band really started to suffer. If they felt Soft Duckling was headed down the Yoko path that's when they'd intervene.

He chuckled to himself. Their name was weird for sure, but it held a special meaning for them. It was about two and half years ago and they were sitting around Logan's living room trying to brain storm ideas when Clay, Julian, and Nathan all walked in.

'What are you guys up to?" Nate asked, glancing down at the pad in Logan's lap. "Port Danger? Dagger Swagger? What are these?"

"Potential band names," Sawyer replied.

"Correction, those are rejected band names," Jude groaned from the opposite side of the couch. "Why are all the good names taken?"

"Julian when you and Brooke first thought you were adopting what were the paint colors you were picking between?" Nathan inquired looking at the twin's father.

"Are you two going to mock me about that again? I realize it was a massive faux pas asking you guys for paint color advice."

"So was using the phrase faux pas," Clay commented, shaking his head.

"Just answer the question," Nate said elbowing Clay.

"Soft Duckling and Enchanted Forest," Julian muttered taking a sip of his beer.

"See there you go," Nate grabbed the pad from Logan scrawling something down. "I would go see Soft Duckling."

He tossed it back at the kids having it land directly in the center of the coffee table. The teens all smiled, silently agreeing. And that was the day Soft Duckling finally became a real band name.

Logan had to hand it to his uncle, the man was awesome when it came to ideas. As the memory faded he noticed Lydia and Davis were both missing.

"Where's the super couple?" he asked, looking around the room.

"Oblivious much?" Sawyer responded with a smirk. "They said they were gonna go to the Rivercourt. Lydia seemed down after Jude brushed her off."

"Well, it's not like she has any clue that he likes her. Maybe if he would just tell her how he feels."

Sawyer scoffed. "Like it's that easy."

He gave her a look. "Sawyer Scott, are you hiding a crush from me?"

Her cheeks turned crimson causing her to turn away. "That's not what I mean."

"Liar, come on what's his name?" Logan pried, as he captured her sides, tickling profusely.

She let out a fit of laugher, trying to get out of his grasp, but he had a good four inches on her, and was definitely more muscular. Still she squirmed as hard as she could.

"I'd let up if you just gave me a name," he sang into her ear, making her knees go weak.

She stopped struggling. "Okay, okay. Let me go and I'll tell you."

He released his hold on her turning her to face him. "Alright spill."

"His name is," she paused, biting her bottom lip. "Chris Keller." Then she erupted in laughter.

"Ha ha very funny," Logan replied, but smiled as well. He was glad he wouldn't have to be fending off any idiots. Sawyer was his best friend, and he wasn't about to let some guy ruin her.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Davis and Lydia walked around the river's edge, fingers laced. Her head was resting on his shoulder. He couldn't help smiling down at her. The last few months had been the closet to perfect that he could have ever dreamed. He had the popularity, the talent, and the girl. The only down side was that none of that seemed to matter.

Sure he had more friends than anyone at Tree Hill High he was the star of the basketball team so of course people liked him. That was the problem, everyone liked him for what he could do, but no one saw him for who he was or who he wanted to be. Even his real friends didn't see him anymore.

Fighting with Jude had become the worst. He never wanted it to get this bad between them. When they were younger things were easier. If they fought, which happened on more than one occasion, they resolved it pretty easily. Once they reached middle school though, he noticed the drift. The differences between him and his brother got more and more apparent. The more time past the bigger the gap between them became. Then last year happened. He knew Jude had a thing for Lydia. But when he saw her at the beach three months ago, looking like her world had just fallen to pieces, he felt so desperate to make her smile. So he asked her to dinner, and things just grew from there. She was the most amazing girl he'd ever met. She was so strong, so brilliant, but he never felt like he was worthy of any of it. He knew their time together was fleeting, that as soon as she saw how much Jude cared, how much better he was for her, that she'd realize he was what was best for her.

"Where's your head at?" Lydia asked, catching his gaze.

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. "Right here, with you."

She smiled, pulling him into a kiss. "Good answer."

"Practice makes perfect."

She pushed him playfully. "Funny."

"So your mom still out of town?" he asked, leading her to the picnic table near the water's edge.

She sat down looking out over the river, sighing. "Yea, apparently Grubbs needs all the publicity he can get."

He did notice her face drop. "Well, I hope she gets back soon. Maybe she can get your dad to stop hating me."

"My dad doesn't hate you," she paused, taking note of the look on Davis' face. "Well, I guess he does, but don't take it personally. He would hate any guy who tried to stick their tongue down my throat on a daily bases."

"Yea maybe I should stop doing that," he chuckled.

"It might give you brownie points with him, but not so much with me."

"So you excited about school on Monday?" he asked.

"Not really, no."

He turned her so they were facing each other. "What's up?"

"I guess, I'm just tired of trying so hard," she replied.

"I get that," he commented, tracing circles on the back of her hand. "It sucks when everyone expects you to be one thing, and you're not even sure if that's who you want to be."

"Yeah," she smiled. "But at least you don't have this pressure to be like either of your parents. I mean Gray's so much like Brooke, she'll no doubt be the fashion queen, and Jude has a lot of your dad in him. You can be whatever you want."

"Unless, someone choose that for me."

She pulled him into a hug, kissing him softly on the cheek. "Don't let them. Pave your own path."

"I will if you will," he replied.

As she pulled back he saw her wipe a few tears away. "I wish I could just go to school with you, and everyone else."

"Then why don't you?"

"I can't ask my dad that," she shrugged, a strand of hair falling in her face. He brushed it back fingertips lingering at the base of her ear.

"I love you," he whispered.

Her smile grew, as she leaned in. She placed a kiss on his lips, and he pulled her close to him not wanting the moment to end.

No matter what uncertainties swam around his head, he pushed them away. Because the first time he truly let the love of another wash over him wasn't going to be ruined by anything.


	2. Even if it Breaks Your Heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill. I kinda own some of the characters here, but Mark owns anyone one you know.**

**A/N**: Thank you for your reviews and your favorites. I'm glad people really like this. I've had so much fun writing it so far. A few old and new faces turn up in this chapter. So I hope everyone enjoys. Also if you guys would like to see my 'opening' credits for this fic, the link is on my page. Along with a link to most of the family photos.

A special thanks to my beta and photo maker Cassie. She's super awesome.

Even if it Breaks Your Heart

As the sun rose high the next morning Lydia had much to smile about. The memories of the night before flooded back, making her blush. She couldn't wait to tell Sawyer what had happened. She reached into her pocket, grabbing her cell. She hit her speed dial and waited.

"What?" Sawyer moaned from the other line.

"Good morning," Lydia sang cheerfully.

"Lyds there is nothing good when you call someone at," she paused. "8 am!? I'm going back to bed."

"Come on Sawyer, I really need to talk to you," she whined.

"Sorry, no Sawyer here," she replied. "Bye now." And Lydia heard the click of the phone disconnecting.

Lydia rolled her eyes dropping her phone in her bag. She peered through the cracked door and watched as her cousin covered herself with blankets. "Rise and shine." She called pushing the door open further.

Sawyer rolled over glaring at her friend. "I hate you."

Lydia smiled broadly and rolled her eyes. Sawyer was just being a drama queen.

"Come on, it's a great morning, and the last Saturday before I start school on Monday. So get up," She demanded as she pulled the covers off the bed.

Sawyer sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Lydia tried to stifle her laugh as she saw her friend's bed head.

"Tell me you brought coffee."

The brunette smirked, walking back to the door; she bent down picking up two Styrofoam cups. She handed one to Sawyer, making the girl smile for the first time that morning.

"You may proceed. But please remember until I drink half of this I cannot be expected to remember anything you say."

Lydia pushed her over on the bed, taking a seat. "Oh I think this will stick in your memory."

"Try me," Sawyer said taking a sip from her drink.

"Davis told me he loved me."

Sawyer choked, sputtering liquid out of her mouth. "I'm sorry Davis Baker?"

Lydia gave her a look; she really didn't want to hear this. "Don't start."

"Hey, I'm just saying I didn't know it was in his vocabulary. You know his dating track record isn't exactly polished."

"He's not like what everyone says," she replied looking out the window. "He's… an enigma. Every time I think I have him figured out, he surprises me."

"Lyddie, sometimes that's not a good thing," Sawyer commented.

Lydia turned back, giving her friend an even stare. "Look I know everyone thinks Davis is going to break my heart, but why can't you guys trust that maybe I know what I'm getting into?"

"It's not that we think you can't handle things. We just think Davis has a lot of…life experience."

"Well, maybe I'm tired of not having any," Lydia stood, moving closer to the window. "I'm sick of being this sheltered little school girl. It's time Lydia Bob Scott learned to have more fun and less stress."

Sawyer gave her a sour look. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to end very badly?"

Lydia turned smiling. "Oh come on what's the worst that could happen?"

"See any time someone says something like that, the worst thing always happens."

Lydia rolled her eyes at her cousin. "It's not like I'm suggesting a heist job or something."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Sawyer said giving her a look.

"I don't know," Lydia replied, fiddling with the edge of her cup. "I just know I need a change. Something no one would expect from me."

"Hmmm," Sawyer got up a smile plastered on her face. "I know what you need." She pulled a box out of her dresser and tossed it on the bed.

Lydia picked it up studying the box. "Manic Panic Permanent Hair Color Cream, Cotton Candy Pink?" "Trust me, no one will expect this." OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Jude was in the kitchen drowning out the rest of the world. He had his iPod up as loud as it would go and both ear buds in. When he got home last night after almost a minute of snapping rubber bands he felt like actually being productive. So he took out his recording equipment and got the drum beats, and some of the guitar parts out for the new songs Logan gave him. Right now he was listening to them none stop. It was his way of learning the music. If he could feel them, he could play them. He was beginning to wonder when or if any of his family were going to make an appearance. Sure it was Saturday, but they usually had a million things going on.

But he put the alone time to good use. Pulling his drum sticks from his back pocket, he started to tap out the rhythm on the countertop. He was well into Just the Way I'm Not before he got the feeling he was being watched. He pulled a bud out of his ear turning around. His dad was standing there smiling.

"I didn't know anyone else was up," Jude explained, turning his iPod off, as he wrapped his headphones around it.

"I can see that," Julian entered, heading to the fridge. "It's not like I was going to stop you. I read somewhere that you need to encourage your teens to express themselves."

Jude snorted as he tried to hold back a laugh. "Okay dad."

"Hey, I am trying to be a hip dad. Down with the lingo, and the haps in my children's lives," He said pulling ingredients from the fridge.

"Well then may I offer a tip?" Jude asked, still fighting back a smile.

Julian nodded.

"Never say 'haps' again. Like for as long as you live," Jude grabbed a seat at the breakfast bar. "Also hip? Not so cool anymore."

"Noted, thank you," Julian replied and broke in an egg into a large mixing bowl.

"What's for breakfast?" Jude asked, leaning forward on the counter.

"Pancakes," Julian answered. "Hand me that whisk, will ya?"

Jude grabbed the utensil and handed it to his dad. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yea of course you can."

Jude hesitated for a second, and looked towards the stairs, just to make sure no one was coming down.

"How did you know? That mom was the one?"

Julian's smile grew as a wistful look crossed his face. "Ah, when I saw her for the first time. Not the night we met though. I mean the first time I really saw her heart, her playfulness. The way she was when she was completely unafraid of anything.

"Why? Is there some girl I should know about?" Julian added eyeing his son.

"No, I was just curious," Jude replied, looking down.

"Jude, come on. You can talk to me." his father said.

"It's just I kinda-" But he was cut off by a loud crash upstairs.

"GRAY!" they heard Davis scream, followed by a long fit of giggles. Then the foot falls on the stairs came their way.

"Dad," Davis called coming into the kitchen. "She did it again."

"Did not," the girl called from the stairs.

"Then how do you explain me finding my phone in your room?" Davis retorted.

"Okay both of you stop," Brooke said coming in the room with Gray by her side. "Honey I told you to stay out of your brother's room."

Jude had a smile plastered on his face. It was nice to see Gray start in early on Davis.

"It's not funny," Davis said.

"It's a little funny," Jude replied causing Davis to shove him. Jude took a drumstick and smacked his brother's arm.

"Can I have one morning where my children get along?" Brooke asked looking between the three of them.

"Not likely," they replied in unison.

"Well at least they agree on something," Julian said smiling, causing Brooke to shoot him a look.

"I'm out," Davis said, but Brooke caught him by the arm.

"Excuse me your father is making breakfast. So a family breakfast we will be having. Last time I checked you counted as one of those," she pulled him back. "Plus you have to work at the store today."

"I can't today," Davis replied, and Jude rolled his eyes. His brother was always trying to get out of work.

"Well I have the presentation for the new line today, and you promised," Brooke countered, with a stern look.

"But Micshw wants to get together to work on conditioning. Since Jamie's taking over coaching this year we want to make sure we're on our game," Davis pleaded.

Jude looked up between his mother and his brother. He saw the emotions play across her face, and knew what she'd do next.

"Jude, sweetie do you mind taking your brother's shift today?" she asked, giving him a smile.

"I took his shift yesterday, Mom," he complained. "He didn't even ask."

"I was stuck in Charlotte helping Jamie finish packing. It's not like I planned it," Davis replied.

"I highly doubt that," Jude countered.

"Boys," their mother howled. "Stop it. New proposal: Jude take the morning shift, your brother will be there by 12 pm. Any later and he's grounded. He will also take your shift on Monday."

"I can't Monday. Its Lydia's first day. I told her I'd drive her," Davis added.

"Well that won't take all day, so you can just open the store a little late," she replied, kissing his forehead. "Are we happy with new arrangement?"

"Like it matters," Jude mumbled to himself.

"What was that sweetie?" Brooke asked turning to him.

"Nothing," he answered. "I'm gonna go open the store now."

"So neither one of you is going to eating breakfast?" Julian questioned, looking up.

"Sorry pops," Davis replied. "I'm already late."

As he tried to walk off, Brooke handed him a cereal bar. "You have to eat something."

Jude rolled his eyes and grabbed an orange. "See ya later."

"Jude," Julian said, catching his attention. "We'll finish our talk later?"

"Whatever," he replied walking off.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Jamie Scott had always been an athletic person. It was the one quality in him that he knew would never change. So even though he retired from the Charlotte Bobcats, he still found himself up jogging every morning. It was the only time of day he had to himself. Just him and the music for miles and miles. He'd run around the whole town a good three times, before the sun fixed itself in the sky.

He never really paid much mind to his surrounding when he ran. It wasn't necessary, except on this morning.

As he ran past the old factory on the edge of town, he caught sight of the high school in the distance. He had only spent four years as a student at Tree Hill High, but it felt like he grew up there. He could trace all the big moments in his life back to that school. The first time his mother left him with a babysitter, the first friend he ever made and lost, and the first girl who ever broke his heart. It was more than just a building; it was a piece of him.

He was engrossed in his thoughts he didn't see the woman until they collided. They both fell to the ground.

"I am so sorry," he said, helping her up. "I was distracted and I didn't see you."

She looked up at him with a smile that nearly stopped his heart. She was striking, even covered in dirt and her hair in a messy ponytail. His breath caught in his throat.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," she replied, pulling twigs from her long dark locks. She laughed a little, and Jamie felt himself being pulled in further. "I think if that's the worst thing that happens to me today I will be just fine."

He pulled her from the ground, taking in her appearance. She was picking up her bags that had scattered.

"Let me help you with that," he finally spoke, grabbing for the recycle bags. "I'm Jamie by the way. But you probably knew that already."

She gave him a confused look, taking the bags back. "Should I?"

"Jamie Scott," he continued. "Former point guard for the Charlotte Bobcats."

"Is that baseball?" she tested, but he shook his head. "Basketball?"

"Yea, it is," he answered, smiling at her.

"Well as you can probably guess, I'm not so good with sports. Which is odd because I was raised by my single dad, who loves them. Good thing we have music in common."

He laughed lightly. "You're funny."

"Well," she smiled. "I try."

"Not hard I imagine."

"Well, I better be off," she replied.

"Wait," Jamie said, grabbing hold of her arm. But she pulled back slightly. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she brushed a fallen strand away from her face.

He stepped back a little looking into her eyes. They held a sense of sadness, tainted by flecks of fear. But as soon as it came the look was shook off, replaced by a small smile.

"I didn't even get your name," Jamie said, running a hand through his hair.

"Jenny," she replied, looking him in the eye. "I just moved here."

"Well that is evident, considering you didn't know a local legend," Jamie commented, motioning to himself.

"Oh a legend, well I am in awe," she replied mockingly.

"It's okay everyone has those moments. It's best to sit and have a good meal. You know to get it out of your system."

"Good advice," she smiled. "I'll make sure to do that."

"Well you know I have to eat, eventually as well. Maybe we could share that meal together?" Jamie inquired.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Jenny responded shaking her head. "My life's kind of crazy."

"I like crazy," he replied, catching her line of sight. "I'd really like to see you again."

"Well it's a small town. Maybe you will." She waved as she walked past down the road.

"I look forward to it," he called after her, and she turned flashing him a smile before continuing on.

He pulled out his cell, hitting his most used speed dial button. He waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Hey Chuck," he said, still watching the direction Jenny had went in. "I think I just met the girl of my dreams."

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Davis released the ball and watched as it sailed towards the basket. A broad smile etched on his features.

"I'm pretty sure that's game point, MC," Davis said as the other boy hung his head.

"Damn boy, how you do that every time?" Micshw Jones asked, grabbing the ball before it had a chance to bounce. "And I mean every time. I never beat your scrawny ass."

"Maybe I'm just better than you," Davis replied laughing. "You really shouldn't have broken you leg last season. Now your miles behind me."

"You know if you weren't so damn good, I'd stop hanging out with you," Micshw commented taking a seat on the old picnic table.

Davis rolled his eyes. "Right and who else would you hang out with?"

"Boy shut up," Micshw said throwing the ball at Davis, the former ducked and heard the ball dribble to a stop.

"Nice throw Jones, no wonder you're always riding pine," a voice spoke from behind Davis causing his shoulders to tense.

"What do you want Tyler?" _Tyler Swiatek_. The name alone made Davis want to vomit. The guy had no class what so ever. And it was apparent he thought he was some kind of prodigy in love and basketball, but anyone who actually knew the dark headed boy knew he was just an ass.

"Davis is that any way to talk to your future teammate?" Tyler inquired, shooting the ball at the basket without looking.

"What are you talking about?" Davis responded grabbing the ball before Tyler could.

"Oh you don't know? See since Tree Hill is getting a basketball legend as it's coach this year, my dad felt like I should be learning from greatness. I start first day."

Davis wanted to rip the smile off his smug face, but knew if he started a fight right before school his chances of captain would be slimmer than before.

"Now don't look so upset, D. With me the Ravens will actually take state this year," Tyler said, circling Davis, a mock smile on his face.

"We took state last year, jackass," Micshw countered.

"Yes you did, after three forfeits. Hardly something to brag about Jones." He looked between Micshw and Davis, fueling Davis' need to punch his lights out even more. "And if you two are the best they've got well it's a good thing I'm coming along."

"If you think for one second that you're gonna come in there and take over, you are sadly mistaken," Davis said getting close to his face. "I've been on that team for two years already. No way in hell am I giving up my spot to you."

"Well that's up to the new coach now isn't it. Unless you think dating his sister is really gonna sway anything?" Tyler stepped back. "See ya around Davis."

As he walked off Davis took the ball and lunged it across the grass. He never really let anyone get to him. He had too much to lose if he did, but Tyler had a way of getting under his skin. And every time he did Davis would have to fight the urge to lash out.

"How the hell are we supposed to play with him?" Davis fumed.

"Well maybe Big Game James won't put him on the team." Micshw responded, but Davis gave him a look.

"The only person in the state slightly better than him is me. He's getting on the team."

Davis' phone buzzed from its spot on table but he made no move for it. Micshw on the other hand was too curious not to look. "Why's your brother texting you, many, many curse words?"

Davis grabbed his phone looking at the time. "Damn. I was supposed to be at the shop twenty minutes ago," he threw the phone into his bag. "My mom is gonna kill me."

"Well maybe then you won't have to deal with Tyler," Micshw replied, smirking.

Davis shot a glare over his shoulder, walking to his blue dodge charger. He had worked so hard to finally make it to the top at THH, and no way was Tyler Swiatek taking that away from him.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

As summer jobs went Logan was certain he had the best one of all. Working at Red Bedroom kept him connected to the world he so desperately longed for. To make your mark and have someone connect to something you wrote it was all he dreamed about now a days.

He remembered the first time he stepped into the label's office. His mother had to drop something off for his Aunt Haley, and she told him to stay and talk to Chase about planes. But after a while the man in question got busy with phone calls, so Logan took it upon himself to wander. He had just made his way to overstuffed couch near the back edge of the space when he heard a single guitar start up. It was faint through the thick metal door, but it pulled at him to move closer.

He pushed himself through the crack in the door, and tiptoed over to the large board with lots of buttons. Through the big glass window he could see the weird guy with crazy hair. But something was different about him today. Somehow he seemed less boring and more relaxed. Like there wasn't a thing in the world that could faze him. He kept the beat going, causing Logan to bob along from the squishy office chair. _"Way back on a radio dial, a fire got lit inside a bright eyed child. Every note just wrapped around his soul, from steel guitar to Memphis, all the way to rock and roll" _

"Wow, employees keep getting younger and young here," he sucked in his lips at the sound of the voice, swiveling the chair towards it.

But the blonde who spoke just smiled at him, causing him to smile back.

"Does Quinn know you're in here Logan?" Peyton asked, looking back towards the office area.

"Not exactly," he replied. Glad it was just Sawyer's mom, and not someone who would get him in trouble like Alex. "But I heard the music and wanted to see what was going on."

"Ah." Peyton took the seat next to him and motioned to Chris. "What do you think kid?"

"What's he doing?" Logan inquired, he only saw Chris occasionally, and the man was usually annoying his Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan.

"Chris is trying out something different for his new album. Got to make money somehow."

The little boy's eyes grew as wide as ever. "He does this as a job?"

"Well of course," Peyton replied, mussing up the boys hair. "There's not much more Chris is good at."

Logan barely heard anything else. He was just so transfixed on the rest of the song. He had never imagined that such a job could exist. _"Some dreams stay with you forever, drag you round and lead you back to where you were. Some dreams they keep on getting better, gotta keep believing if you wanna know for sure."_

He smiled over to Peyton a new passion growing deep. "I wanna do that when I get bigger."

And to this day Logan still felt that way. He knew that if he just kept pushing himself creatively, vocally, and musically, one day he'd be on the wall of albums in Peyton's office. He just knew that one day he'd be one of the voice's that touches someone in their darkest hour.

But for now he'd start as low on the chain as he had too. Peyton was a cool boss, though. She actually trusted his judgment on what sounded good and occasionally let him and Sawyer sit in on new music sessions, at 17 it was pretty much the coolest job you could ask for. But he worried what Peyton would do once school started back this week.

The story they were all supposed to accept was that Haley went to manage Red Bedrooms 20th anniversary overseas tour, but he knew better. He overheard his mom and dad talking one night. They hadn't been aware that Logan was still up working on a new song. According to Quinn, Haley was suffering from a serious bout of post partum depression. She had checked herself into a mental facility in Durham. That had been nearly ten weeks ago. And Logan was starting to wonder if maybe his aunt's condition had more to do with her own fear than anything medical.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps entering the room. If Logan had to guess he'd say the man was around the same age as most of the adults in his life.

"Hello," the guy said as he looked around the room.

"Hi," Logan replied, as he felt a familiar tug at the back of his mind, trying to place the man's face. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Peyton," he answered, finally glancing at Logan. "The guy at the bar said I could find her back here."

"Yea, she's just finishing up something in the sound booth," Logan pointing off to the side.

"Jake," they both turned at the sound of Peyton's voice. Logan noticed her face light up at the sight of the guy, and he tried harder to remember why he knew the face and name.

"Hey Peyton," Jake said smiling lightly.

"What are you doing you here?" she asked, moving closer. "I mean hi."

He laughed, and Logan observed how their bodies seemed to move together. She'd tilt right and he'd lean left, almost like they were revolving around each other. The thought struck him almost instantly after that. He remembered back before Lucas passed, they were all at Sawyer's for one reason or another, and the adults were looking through old photo albums.

"Who's that daddy?" Sawyer asked causing Logan to look over as well.

"That," Lucas replied. "Is the only guy your mom would ever leave me for."

"Who Dave Grohl?" Peyton questioned reentering the room.

Lucas shook his head a smile plastered on his face. "In your dreams."

She looked at the photograph and then into his eyes. "Jake?"

"Don't even try to deny it," he added, squinting at her. "You know it's true."

That was the only time Logan remembered Jake coming up in conversation. The man was in a lot of the old basketball photos, but no one seemed to mention him after Lucas died.

Logan could tell from watching the two of them interact, that whatever happened between them 25 years ago was still between them now.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Sawyer sat on her bed reading her book. She had just got to the school shooting chapter and was biting her lip with each page turn. Sure she already knew the outcome, but it was still am edge of your seat kind of story. It always pulled her in, trying to read into everything her father wrote down. It was hard not to find something new every time she reread it.

"AAHH!" came a scream from the bathroom, and Sawyer jumped at the sound. She had almost forgotten Lydia was in there.

It had taken her an hour to talk the brunette into dyeing her hair and two more hours watching her get up the courage to actually do it. Eventually, Lydia had settled on just doing streaks through her hair.

"It probably won't even show up, right?" Lydia asked with a worried look Sawyer found amusing.

"One way to find out," she said with a smirk.

If the frantic sounds from the bathroom were any indication, Sawyer would wager the pink dye took.

"You okay in there?" Sawyer asked coming to the door.

"I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead," Lydia repeated. "My dad is going to kill me."

"Are you sure it's even that noticeable?" The blonde asked, pushing the door open. She gasped when she took in the sight of Lydia's hair. Vibrant pink streaks flowed down from root to tips. Sawyer couldn't help smirking.

"This isn't funny," Lydia fumed placing her arms across her chest. "What am I suppose to do?"

"Why are you so upset? I thought you wanted something different? Something daring?" Sawyer pulled her from the bathroom making Lydia sit on the edge of the bed.

"I didn't mean… I mean I meant something, but this… it's just _so_ bright." The brunette finished, taking short shallow breathes.

"Okay first, calm down," Sawyer began, trying not to be so amused with her friend's panic attack. But in all the time she'd known her cousin, she'd never seen her freak out over anything.

Lydia was usually so in control. She made calculating decisions about everything from her headbands to the socks she wore. So to see her in a state of panic was refreshing for Sawyer. In fact she was having trouble not doubling over in laughter.

"Sawyer, my dad is gonna flip. I mean this is just not me," Lydia cried, burying her head in her hands.

"Wasn't that the point? Getting out of your comfort zone?" Sawyer took a seat next to her. "Lyds, I love ya like a sister, but you're too serious sometimes."

Sawyer watched as Lydia made her way to the full length mirror. The brunette took a long time before speaking.

"It does look kind of… cool," she said and Sawyer could see a smile cross her face. "Maybe my freak out was slightly premature."

"And over the top," Sawyer commented with a smirk, which caused Lydia to shoot her a glare.

"I think I'll keep it."

"And how do you plan on selling it to Uncle Nate?" Sawyer questioned.

Lydia turned a worried looked etched into her features. "Maybe he won't notice."

The blonde rolled her eyes. She knew her uncle pretty well, and the man had it hard these last few months. Just he seemed like he was doing well considering he was basically raising five kids while Haley was away. She wished she knew why her aunt had suddenly decided to go traipsing Europe. She knew the official 'reason'. Haley was managing Red Bedrooms 20th anniversary European tour. But there had to be some catalyst, something that made her choice to leave her family for an entire summer. The woman just had a baby for goodness sakes.

"Maybe, you can play it off as a rebel phase. Didn't you say something about him wanting you to be more like a teenager?" Sawyer supplied with a smile.

"You're right," Lydia replied. "He basically came up with this himself."

"There you go," Sawyer got up, moving to her closet. "Now, how about we take that hair out for a test run?"

**Music in this chapter: **Chapter title from the song Even if it Breaks Your Heart by the Eli Young Band, written by Will Hoge. It's also the song Chris is playing in Logan's flashback. The song Jude is drumming is into Just the Way I'm Not by All Time Low.


	3. Holding Out For A Hero

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Or the music. If I did I'd be writing this from a mansion near a pond with a gazebo….. Don't judge me.**

**A/N: **Again thank you all foryour reviews. They mean a lot to me and I'm glad people are responding well to the story. So far I have several chapters written so I can say with great certainty things will take time. To address one question that I guess I didn't make clear in the story, Jamie retired from the Bobcats to go home and help Nathan because Haley was away. I may explain that better later in the story, but just to clear it up for you guys.

Holding Out for a Hero

Monday morning came early in the Scott house, and everyone seemed to be up and running, which annoyed Lydia to no end.

"Seriously Dani," Lydia groaned, pushing her preteen sister away from the mirror for the third time. "I'm trying to get ready for school. Can't your adolescent annoyance wait until I'm out of the bathroom?"

"I need to get ready too. It's the last day of day camp," Dani rolled her eyes, which made Lydia sign in frustration. The only thing the brunette wanted to do was to tie her hair back in a bun. Her dad had taken the new hair coloring better than she had expected. He told Lydia as long as she like it and could hide it for school he would let her keep it.

"Girls," they both turned at the sound of their father's voice. "Breakfast."

Dani shot out of the bathroom, and Lydia watched as the girl raced down the stairs. She secured her hair in place, checking to make sure no pink was visible.

"Perfect," she said to herself and made her way down to the kitchen. Her little brothers, Luca and Keith, were at the breakfast table dueling with toast. Dani had taken a seat at the counter and was very engrossed in her phone. Jamie was propped against the fridge looking over a packet of papers, while picking off a plate next to him. And her father sat near the edge of the table feeding baby Jessie.

"Hey Bobby bear," Nathan greeted, looking up from the messy faced baby. "Breakfast is on the counter."

"Thanks Daddy," Lydia replied, kissing his cheek.

"It's mine," Keith screeched, as he pulled on the fabric swatch flinging it into his milk glass, causing liquid to go everywhere. She caught sight of the boys out of the corner of her eyes, but they were too fast for her to react.

"Luca," Nathan scolded, dropping the baby bowl on the tray. "How many times have a told you to stop antagonizing your little brother?"

"He took my bacon," Luca complained. "I had to retaliate."

Keith started to cry as the material became saturated with milk. "Blanket."

Jamie was over before Lydia knew what happened and scooped up the younger boy. "Hey bud, its okay. We'll stick blanket in the washer. When you get back from daycare it'll be all clean."

"Promise?" Keith asked looking at his big brother.

"Would I lie to you?" Jamie answered back. "Luca maybe. But not you."

"Okay," he scrambled out of Jamie's arms. "I'm gonna go get ready."

Lydia grabbed the toast off her plate taking a bite. It amazed her sometimes how good her brother was with kids. She knew one day he'd make a great father.

"Luca," she heard her father speak again. "Your brother's only four. You can't keep picking on him like that."

"You told me I should stand up for myself," the six year old replied.

"I meant to bullies and kids bigger than you. Not your siblings. Now change your attitude or no baseball today."

"Fine," Luca groaned. "I'll go say sorry."

Lydia watched the boy make his way up the same way Keith had and smiled. Yeah they fought all the time, but it was kind of adorable. The sound of tapping pulled her out of her head. But Jamie was already opening the back door.

Davis stood there and Lydia smiled widely.

"Hey," she said as Jamie moved to let him in.

"Morning," Davis replied, then looked around the room. "Everyone."

Lydia caught her dad's eyes in mid roll; he let out a sort of snort slash cough thing, but just moved back to Jessie and picked up her bowl.

"It'd really be a big help if you two could drop Dani off at day camp today," Nathan said, when Jessie decided to paint her highchair with her peas.

Dani's attention had finally been caught and she turned in her stool. Lydia stood arm crossed right next to her.

"Dad," they complained in unison, glaring at each other.

"I can't deal with your issues this morning," Nathan cut them off before they could both go off. "Luca has baseball and I already have to go across town to drop Jessie and Keith off at daycare. It's not like you haven't done it all summer."

"But Davis has to get straight to work after he drops me off," Lydia explained in a huff. She shot Davis a look telling him not to speak at all.

"Lydia, Jamie has to be at work in like half an hour. And the community center is on the same road between Oppenheimer and Bakerman, so I need this favor. And I'm sure Davis doesn't mind."

They both looked towards him, and Davis furrowed his brow. "No sir I don't."

Lydia glared at her boyfriend, as he shot her a nervous smile.

"Fine, whatever," Lydia groaned, pulling her backpack on her shoulder.

Dani hopped off the stool and hugged her dad. "What if they get all mushy?"

Lydia growled and lunged for her sister, but Dani was too quick and already out the door. "I hate this."

Lydia stalked to the door, pulling Davis with her.

"It's really no trouble, Mr. Scott," He managed to get out before Lydia yanked him out the door.

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Sometimes a goodnight's sleep never comes, as much as you might want it to. That's why Sawyer found herself awake far earlier than she'd ever choose to be. She had tried to rest the night before, but every time she drifted off horrible things would flood her brain. It had been a long time since she'd been plagued with nightmares of her father's death.

But last night all she could imagine was her father in a hospital bed, the beeps of the heart monitor fading in the background. He told her it was okay to cry. That it didn't mean she wasn't strong, except she couldn't. All her family had been crying, even her uncle Nathan. But Sawyer bottled it up; she didn't even realize she was doing it. Not until his funeral a few weeks later. When she saw everyone her father's spirit had touched, she broke. She didn't even remember who took her away from the grave. It felt horrible knowing that she let the chance to truly say goodbye to her dad just slip through her fingers.

But today was a new day, and with the right amount of coffee she could actually get through it without falling asleep on the couch. She had just started the coffee pot and grabbed the toaster pastries from the freezer, when the doorbell chimed.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave, she glared towards the front door. Who in their right mind would bug the Scott girls so early in the morning? Did they have a death wish?

She heard her mother coming down the stairs, and decided Peyton could handle the morning guest. The door open, but couldn't make out any conversation, until her mother laughed.

Sawyer was reaching for a mug and stopped mid grab. Was her mother actually happy about this morning visit? Considering the time Brooke had come over at 8 am once, and her mother had almost thrown her entire pillow collection at her best friend? Sawyer couldn't imagine anyone that would be welcomed, before 10 am.

As Sawyer heard movement in the hall making its way towards the kitchen, she proceeded to fill her mug with the dark liquid.

"It was really nice of you to stop by this morning," Peyton said, as she entered with a man.

Sawyer glanced over nearly dropping her coffee. It was the man from her mom's sketch, the old inspiration.

"Hi," She said, getting their attention

"Oh sweetie, I didn't realize you were up," Peyton commented, smiling widely.

Sawyer looked between the two adults not liking the vibe her mom was giving off. She'd never seen Peyton act this way with anyone, not even her own father. It was like Peyton had been pushed back twenty something years, holding the happiness of a teen again.

"I'm Jake," the man finally said, placing a bag on the counter. "You're mom has told me a lot about you."

And then she remembered her father's book talked about a Jake. Someone her mother had been involved with a long time ago. It had to be the same one, given the evidence.

"Nice to meet you," she replied, forcing a smile. She didn't know how to react to him. Part of her wanted to be happy that her mother had an old friend to reconnect with, but a large gnawing feeling in her gut told her to be wary. Maybe he was more than a friend, or could be more. And Sawyer wasn't ready for her mom to move on.

"Jake brought us breakfast, Sawyer," Peyton remarked pointing to the bag in front of them. "Isn't that nice?"

"Yea, thanks," Sawyer replied, looking down. She was in an old worn band tee and a pair of terry cloth sleep shorts. Then she took notice of her mother. Hair pulled back, dark jeans, and a black off the shoulder top. Clearly the morning visit was more planned out then the two adults were letting on.

"I can't though," Sawyer said, placing her dishes in the sink. "I promised Logan I would listen to some new song ideas with him."

"Oh well some other time then," Jake said smiling. "We can actually give you notice."

"We should do dinner," Peyton noted. "We're more of evening people around here anyway."

Peyton batted Jake's arm, and Sawyer saw how long her mom's fingers lingered.

"I really should get ready to go," Sawyer said, standing. "You two have… fun."

She walked past them down the hall, stopping at the foot of the stairs. She recalled her dreams from the night before. Now it wasn't clear to her whether they were nightmares or bad omens.

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Jude was glad to finally have the house to his self. His brother was working, his sister had day camp, and his parents were working. It was nice to have some time alone, not to be constantly interrupted by someone. But as much as he hated having everyone in his business he had to admit the silence wasn't much better. It gave him too much time to think, and sometimes he's thoughts scared him. Because sometimes he wondered if life would be better if he wasn't around. If his whole family would just get along better if he wasn't there anymore.

Jude knew it wasn't good to think that way. Even he could tell it was a sign of depression, a growing feeling that overwhelmed him and he couldn't even fight past it most days. But he couldn't tell his parents this. He knew they would blame themselves, and he didn't want that. He wouldn't let it happen.

He just had to find something to focus on, a spark to ignite the fire in him again. He would get past this on his own, he just had to.

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If Jamie had had any idea how boring working at the high school would be he would have reconsidered. Six meetings so far that morning, and none of them had been able to hold his attention. He tuned out a minute into the cafeteria monitoring section and pretty much didn't focus back until well into detention giving. As he glanced at his watched he sighed in delight. Only two more hours and he could finally leave. Who knew becoming a basketball coach would mean he'd actually have to 'teach' students. But the vacant coaching position also came with an empty post in the social studies department. So Jamie Scott was now the new current events teacher as well.

With only one more workshop for the day, he was really looking forward to getting out of the building, or at least to the gym. Next up was the new faculty, meet and greet, which he found absurd. To Jamie's knowledge there was only three other new additions to Tree Hill High. There was a new science teacher, the new swim coach slash shop teacher, and the new guidance counselor.

As he entered the room he made his way to the refreshment table, filling a Styrofoam cup with what looked to be coffee, but had the smell of burnt wood chips. He reached towards the plate of store bought cookies and his fingers brushed another hand.

"Sorry," the woman said, looking up to him.

As their eyes met he smiled. It was the girl he ran into the other morning.

"Why hello," he replied.

"Hi, told you we'd see each other again," she commented, smiling back at him. "Let me guess you are the new basketball coach."

"See five minutes with me you can already spot a coach out of three people. That's really impressive."

She laughed, and Jamie felt his heart soar a little. It had been such a long time since any one had made him feel this way. In fact the last time he could recall getting this wrapped up in a girl had been senior year with Madison. But he didn't want to think about that now.

"Oh good you've already paired off," Principal Jameson commented, motioning to the other pair across the room. "Now you have an hour and a half to answer the questionnaires with each other. Remember this is supposed to be fun."

Jamie looked at Jenny and they both laughed.

"I guess you're stuck with me," he commented.

"I hope I survive," she joked.

He led her out of the classroom and down the corridor. The stopped once they reached the gym.

"I hope this is okay," Jamie said looking at her. "I figured no one would bug us in here."

"It's great," she replied, running her fingers across the wall. "So what's the first question?"

He looked down at the paper and laughed. "If you were reincarnated as an animal, a drink, or an ice cream flavor, what would it be?"

"Seriously, that's the first question?" she eyed him.

"Well I may have skipped a few."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Okay. I guess… a dolphin."

"Why?" he asked taking a seat on the bleachers.

"I don't know. I guess I just love the idea of being able to go almost anywhere, but still having you family by you," she replied, giving him a look. "What about you?"

"Rocky Road."

"That speaks volumes," Jenny commented sitting next to him. "I mean what's life without a few bumps?"

"Exactly," Jamie said connecting their gazes. Every time he looked into her eyes he felt himself falling harder. He shook his head and looked back to the paper. "Maybe we should move on."

"Yea, let's do that," she replied, moving closer to look at the list. Jamie looked at her studying her features.

"Everything okay?" She asked, meeting him gaze.

Jamie leaned in, brushing a strand of hair away from her face, and kissed her lightly. They didn't move at first, lost in each other, but then he felt Jenny pull back. She had tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said, placing his hand over hers.

"It's not you," she said standing up. "I know how lame that sounds, but it's not. I swear."

"Okay, then what is it?"

"I just can't," she replied, stepping back. "I'm really sorry."

"Jenny," he called after her, but she continued walking out of the gym. Jamie ran his hands across his face, still feeling the electricity of her hand in his.

He looked at the gym wall, taking notice of his jersey. It felt like a life time had passed since that was placed up there. He was so carefree, like nothing could go wrong. He hadn't felt that way in a long time. Not until he had met Jenny. So in that moment he decided, it wasn't over yet. He wanted to be with her, and he'd do almost anything to prove it.

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Davis had the stereo blaring in the store. Was it odd to play New Found Glory as loud as possible in a children's clothing store? Maybe, but he didn't care. As the chorus came he could help but singing.

"_You were everything I wanted__/ __But I just can't finish what I started__/ __There's no room left here on my back__/ __It was damaged long ago__/ __Though you swear that you are true/ I still pick my friends over you." _

He turned himself around playing air guitar, until he noticed he was being watched. He looked at the red headed girl before him, sputtering in shock. He couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing.

"Ashley," he said, running his hand through the hair at the nape of his neck. "What are you doing here?"

"Is that how you greet all your customers? If so I can see why it's dead in here," she commented moving her hand across the racks.

Davis didn't know how to respond. He hadn't seen Ashley in over a year. Not since she moved to Colorado with her mom. He felt a familiar tug in his chest, but shook his head. He wasn't going there, not now, not ever again.

"I missed you," she said smiling widely.

"Well there's this great invention called a phone. Most people use it to keep in touch," he retorted, walking back towards the counter.

She followed closely behind. As he rounded the corner she hopped up on the surface looking down at him coyly. "Come on. You can't stay mad at me."

"I'm not mad," Davis replied, looking her in the eyes. "I'm just done with your games."

"But we played them so well," she said, running her hand across his shoulder.

He closed his eyes, letting some of the memories of that summer play in his mind. She was so much trouble, but he couldn't get enough of it. Even after she left town he had spent most of the last year being labeled a player, just from the stuff they had done together. It was the reason no one trusted him to be faithful to Lydia.

As Lydia's face crossed his mind, Davis pulled back. "I have a girlfriend, Ash."

She eyed him skeptically, not believing him. "You a girlfriend?"

He grabbed some clothes moving towards the racks. "Yes, I have a girlfriend. Is that so hard to believe?"

She jumped down, crossing her arms. "Yea it is. I thought girlfriends were overrated."

"No I believe _you_ said boyfriendswere overrated." Davis turned to face her.

"Same difference. You're 16. Why in the world would you want to be so," she paused, pretending to retch. "Committed."

He rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"Why? Because I'm not stupid?" Ashley inquired, moving closer. "Because that's what stupid people do. They commit to someone, before they know what they really want out of life."

He looked her in the eyes, wishing he could make this conversation stop. Ashley Donavan was the last person in the world he wanted to explain this to.

"So who is it?" Ashley asked changing direction. "Who's woman enough to tame Davis Baker?"

"Stop, okay," he said moving to mess with receipts. "You're just mocking me so why don't you leave?"

"Come on Davis," she said pouting. "Don't be like that."

"Stop being a bitch then. You're the one who left town without telling anyone, including me. You don't get a say in who I date."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wanted to tell you. I did. It just… It happened really fast."

"And what? You're ability to use any form of communication was left here? I freaked out when I hadn't heard from you. I went to your dad's place," he paused, looking her in the eyes. "And you know that man terrifies me."

"I know. Thank you for worrying," she replied smiling as she placed her finger tips on his collarbone.

He pulled back again. "I'm serious Ash. I have a girlfriend, and I love her."

She rolled her eyes. "Love? How can you become so naïve in a year?"

"Call it what you want, but what Lydia and I have is real." As soon as the words left his mouth he cringed. He hadn't wanted to tell her that.

"Lydia? As in Lydia 'Goodie Goodie' Scott?"

"See this is why I wasn't going to tell you. You're just going to make jokes."

"Because it's insane. I mean you've known the girl your whole life. Isn't that a little too chick flick?"

"Can you just go?" he said pointing to the door. "I have a lot of work to do."

"Fine, have it your way," she replied moving towards the door. "But I'm back in town for good. So this is far from over."

He watched as she walked down the street and rubbed his brow. Between Tyler joining the Ravens and Ashley back in town, he wasn't too confident about how this year was shaping up.

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Logan was sitting on his bed tuning his guitar as Sawyer paced across his bedroom floor. She's been ranting about her mother and her 'friend' Jake for over an hour now. And of course Logan had made the mistake of telling her about meeting the man earlier that weekend.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me?!" she scowled at him. "I mean I thought I was your best friend."

"Don't play the best friend card," He replied, looking up at her. "You know I hate that."

"Well I hate being blindsided, by some guy from my mom's past," she crossed her arms.

"You make it sound like this happens often," he commented laughing.

"Be serious, Logan. My mom can't start dating this guy."

He placed his guitar beside his bed and moved closer to her. "Why not? I mean we didn't talk long but he seemed kind of cool."

"Well because one: my mom is too old to start dating again. Two: He could be some serial killer now. I mean it's been like 20 years. She doesn't know anything about him."

"And he's not your dad?" he questioned catching her eye. She sat next to him, placing her head on his shoulder.

"I miss him," she said softly.

Logan put his arm around her, pulling her closer. He leaned them back until his head landed on the bed, and Sawyer was nestled into his side. He laid a small kiss on the top of her head.

"I don't understand how my mom can be ready to move on," she said into his shoulder. "I mean how can she just replace him?"

"I don't think Peyton's trying to replace him. She's just trying to be happy," he replied. "I mean look at it like this. If my dad hadn't tried I wouldn't have Quinn as a mom."

She stayed quiet, her breathing becoming more even. He was almost certain she had fallen asleep. Not that he minded. When they were like this everything was simple. There was no drama, no angst, just the two of them. Like it always had been, like it always should be. It made him think of one of his favorite songs.

"_If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?" _he sang softly into her ear, placing another kiss on her head.

"Always," he heard her whisper, and smiled. Yes this was how it should be.

**Music in this chapter**: Chapter title is obviously Holding out for a Hero but performed by Ella Mae Bowen, because it's just heart breaking, Davis is air guitaring to New Found Glory's My Friends Over You, last but not least Logan sings Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, because I love that song.

**P.S.? **Though I never would beg for review I do enjoy hearing your thoughts. So Thanks for reading and see you next time.


	4. Inside Out

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own anything, not One Tree Hill, not the songs. Nope nothing.

**A/N: **Seriously you guys thank you. You have no clue what your reviews mean to me. I love knowing that people like the story. For all you Lawyer (don't blame me my original fan Cassie came up with the name) fans out there, this chapter has a bit of them. It's fun, it's dramatic, both of course are things OTH are known for. As to address Ami, I have not made plans for Madison to pop up. That means nothing at this point because I have not made many plans at all, I can hint that Jamie and Jenny will have a bit of things coming their way. Enough of my rambles, to chapter.

Inside Out

Lydia shook out her hair one last time, taking in her whole look. The pinks streaks in her hair popped nicely with her green striped halter. Paired with her Dorothy Perkins Silver Lurex shrug, a pair of faded jeans, and her New Look button pumps she was feeling pretty excited about the evening. After a grueling first week back at school she couldn't wait to spend time with people who actually smiled for no reason at all. It was going to be a good night.

She turned towards the door as Sawyer walked in. The blonde looked awesome with her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. She wore a red spaghetti strapped sequined top, with a cropped leather jacket, paired with dark skinny jeans, and a black pair of Converse.

"Does this say 'rock star', to you?" Sawyer asked sitting on the edge of Lydia's bed. "Or is it too much?"

"You look fan-freakin-tastic," Lydia replied turning towards the blonde. "I mean you put my outfit to shame."

"Well darling I am _in_ the band. I've got to look better than you," she replied sarcastically.

"Thanks," Lydia said, rolling her eyes. She gave herself one more look in the mirror. "Let's go before the boys start getting anxious."

"Yes lets," Sawyer responded, racing Lydia down the stairs. They almost reached the door when Lydia heard footsteps behind them.

"Not so fast ladies," Nathan called, causing them to turn. Lydia gave her father a look.

"Daddy, you're going to make us late," she replied with a pout.

"I really couldn't care less if you're late," he said crossing his arms. "In fact I would prefer neither of you go to this party."

"Uncle Nate, as sweet as this is, I kinda have to be there. For the band," Sawyer said with a shrug. "So bye."

As she tried to walk towards the door, Nathan placed a hand on her shoulder turning her back. Lydia stifled a laugh at how protective he was being. It was nice to see someone else getting the parental treatment for once.

"I'm not done young lady. Now listen up," he said and Lydia locked eyes with him. When Nathan Scott commanded attention it was best to listen. "No drinking, no drugs, and no… sex."

"Oh my god, Dad! Ew," Lydia cried out, covering her ears. "I so do not want to have this talk right now."

"And I'm just as disturbed Uncle Nate. So if we agree to your rules, without repeating them, can we go?" She motioned to the door.

"Just be safe okay," he said kissing each of them on the forehead. "I love you both."

"Love you too dad," Lydia replied grabbing her keys off the hook by the door. With one last wave they were out the door, and off to what promised to be the first big blowout of the year.

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Jude, Davis, and Logan had arrived at Katie Saunders house almost twenty minutes ago. They had a lot of setting up to do for the party. Katie wandered over after they had basically finished getting everything placed right.

"Hey guys. I was thinking you could play like three songs then just DJ the rest of the night. Is that cool?" she said while twirling her hair between her fingers. "That way you can mingle."

She smiled at Davis before walking off, and Jude rolled his eyes. Of course that was the reason they had gotten the gig. Every girl in school fawned over Davis like he was a snow cone on a summer day. But if it gave them an edge for battle of the bands he'd try to ignore it for the night. He was determined to at least try and have fun. He just finished screwing his cymbal in place when arms pulled him into a hug from behind.

"Hey stranger," Lydia chuckled in his ear. He smiled turning towards her.

"Hey, bout time you guys got here," He replied, bumping fists with Sawyer as she passed.

"Uncle Nate, decided to go parental on us," the blonde replied, hooking her guitar up to an amp. "It would have been super sweet, if it wasn't such odd and disturbing subject matter."

Jude gave her a look turning back to Lydia. "Care to share?"

"Not really no," she said shaking her head. "In fact I really never want to think about it again."

"Noted," Jude said, pulling his drum sticks out of his bag.

"Are we okay?" Lydia asked quietly, catching his line of sight. "I feel like you've been avoiding me."

"Yea, it's not you. My heads been kinda all over the place," he replied, taking note of Davis watching them. "We're good though. I promise."

"Good, because as my best friend you are not to be all distance like any longer," she commented, grabbing his drum sticks. "I won't allow it."

"Okay, okay. No more distance, I swear," he pledged, holding up his left hand like a boy scout. "Not can I have my sticks back?"

As she handed them back, they're finger tips lightly brushed, causing Jude to jolt back.

"I should really finish getting set up," he said turning to avoid her gaze.

"Oh," Lydia replied, and he could hear the confusion and hurt in her voice. "I guess I'll go stake out a spot to watch from."

He watched her walk off, finding Micshw and starting up a conversation. He wanted to kick himself. Being friends with Lydia was all he had right now and he kept doing things to screw it up. Jude was starting to feel like the evening was going to be one of the longest he'd had in a while, and he didn't have a way to go off and snap a few rubber bands before their set. He pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing his hand down his face. Just three songs and he'd be able to make a break for the bathroom, just three songs.

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After playing a cover of _Welcome to The Black Parade_, then going into _Stella_, the band finished up the first half of their night with their new song _Bad Enough for You_.

Logan moved over to the DJ table rifling through all the music he brought. He and the band decided to take turns through the night manning the table. So when they weren't playing they could actually have some fun.

He watched as Jude snuck off down the hall. Something was bugging him, Logan could tell but he'd have to wait to check in with his friend, because he promised to take the first DJ shift. He just had to get the music going before the masses got restless.

"Hey you take requests?" Sawyer asked, handing him a blue plastic cup. "I thought you might want something to drink."

"You are awesome," he replied taking a long swig of the drink. "What'd you have in mind?"

"How about Pumped Up Kicks?" She pulled a case out of Logan's stack.

"Dark and danceable, nice," Logan took the disk and popped it in. As the music pulsed through the sound system kids started dancing. "So not drinking tonight?"He commented gesturing to her water bottle.

She fiddled with her lid. "Uncle Nate kinda gave us this 'be pure' speech before we left. I just don't want to let him down."

Logan nodded along, loading a few more CDs in the stereo. "Probably a good idea."

She smiled bobbing along to the music. Logan looked at her, taking in her outfit. "You look good."

"What?" she asked, turning towards him.

"I mean you always look nice, just you're outfit… it's… Good," he sputtered, knowing he sounded like a complete idiot. He'd never been like this with Sawyer. She was one of the only two girls on the planet he could talk to without feeling weird. But ever since his room a few days ago he couldn't get her out of him head, resulting in less than cool moments.

"Are you okay?" she asked, smiling at him. He smiled back, not sure how to respond. The idea of him and Sawyer had never really clicked before, but now that it was on his mind, he couldn't think of anything else.

"Earth to Logan," Sawyer waved a hand in front of his face. "You in there?"

"Huh?" he inquired, looking her in the eye.

"I asked if you were okay," she replied laughing. "I'm thinking about cutting you off at just one tonight."

"Do you wanna dance?" he asked, but was washed out by the crash of drums in the music.

"Sorry, what?" she leaned in closer.

His heart began to race with her so close. He didn't know what to do.

"Can you watch this? I gotta hit the bathroom," he gestured to the hall.

She gave him a confused look. "Yea, I guess."

"Thanks, I'll be back." As soon as Logan was out of sight he leaned against the wall, lightly knocking his head into it. How could he be such an idiot?

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After a trip to the bathroom and a few snaps of his rubber bands Jude was feeling a little more at ease. Parties weren't his thing. He never really fit in with everyone else. Even when he was a kid he hadn't been into large groups, always opting to sit off to one side. Only then he had Lydia with him. She used to be shyer, like him. But somehow as the years progressed she had come out of her shell, while Jude had remained in the shadows.

He walked past the kitchen stopping to take notice of her and Davis surrounded by a crowd of people. She looked like she belonged there, leaning into Davis. He finally noticed the song playing in the background. It was one of his favorites but he'd never really listened hard. "_To be hurt/__To feel lost__/ __To be left out in the dark_". He never really thought about it that way. Sure Jude knew he was having a bad time lately, trying to get through his depression, but it had just hit him how bad it was getting. Has he walked down the hall grabbing a drink, he nearly ran into a petite girl.

"Casey," Jude said, with an element of surprise in his voice. He hadn't seen her since school had let out months ago.

"Jude hey," she replied, with an exuberant smile. If there was one thing anyone always remembered about Casey Hunter it was her smile. It just lit up any space.

"I didn't know you were back," he remarked, glancing back at the kitchen. Lydia buried her head in Davis' shoulder as her laughter echoed into the hall. He was starting to feel like he'd never have someone to just laugh with in a crowded room.

"I got back today. BTW, Madrid is so boring," she said letting out a nervous laugh.

"I gotta go Case," he said looking back to his friend. "Good to see you though."

"Bye," she replied, but Jude didn't see her face fall as he walked away.

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Lydia was having a great time with Davis. She had decided to actually listen to her dad, and not drink but that didn't stop her from having fun with her boyfriend and his friends.

The whole team had taken over the kitchen counters. And the boys were swapping stories of last year's away games.

"Lyds you should have seen your boy, after the last shot against Cove City," Micshw mused. "It was like he was on fire with insults."

"Sounds like," she replied, planting a kiss on his cheek, causing Davis to smile, and drop his head.

"Wasn't that cute?" called a voice at the back of the room. The team parted, and Lydia watched as Ashley stepped forward. "Is this a private party or can anyone crash?"

She felt Davis tense beside her and saw him glare across the room at the red head. Lydia wasn't stupid. She knew Ashley and Davis had history. He didn't like to talk about it, but Lydia could tell that when the girl had left it really hurt him. Now seeing her back sent a flood of insecurities coursing through Lydia.

"Little Lydia, wow. Been playing in mommy's closet?" Ashley questioned, causing Lydia to glare.

"Better than rooting though a hooker's hand-me downs," Lydia retorted, as ooooh's chorused through the kitchen.

"Lyds why don't we go somewhere else?" Davis finally spoke.

"And leave before a nice game of 'I never'? Come on, what would a high school party be without one?" Ashley asked, but looked Lydia up and down. "But Lydia doesn't have a drink. Guess she can't play. Shame."

Lydia turned grabbing a bottle and a cup off the counter behind her. She poured it nearly full.

"I thought your dad said no drinking?" Davis whispered to her.

"Like he's gonna find out," she replied then came back to the group and stared at Ashley. "Let's play."

"Fun," the red head commented. "Now who's first? Davis?"

Lydia noticed he glared again, so she rested her hand on his shoulder. "Why don't I go first? I've never… snuck out of my own house."

The whole room drank up, including Davis, causing Lydia to smirk. She knew her boyfriend had done that.

The game went back and forth for a nearly a half hour. Lydia noted how Ashley just sat there staring at Davis with a wicked grin on her face.

"My turn," the red head spoke up, for the first time in a few minutes. "Let's see. I've never…had the person I like keep secrets from me."

A few of the guys took a drink, but Lydia saw Davis struggle to keep his anger in check.

"Better drink up Lydia I think your boy toy hasn't been quite honest with you," Ashley winked at Lydia.

She turned towards Davis, trying to avoid the red head's gaze. "What is she talking about?"

A struggle played across his face, and Lydia didn't know what to do.

"Davis, what is she talking about?" She repeated, with more force behind her words.

"She came into the store the other day," Davis said, dropping his head. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"We agreed to catch up some time soon," Ashley added with a devious look in her eyes.

Lydia looked between her boyfriend and Ashley, tears burning at the edge of her vision.

"That's not true," Davis replied, grabbing Lydia's hand. "I swear I'd never do that to you."

Lydia pulled back, picking up her cup. "I need to be alone." She stalked out of the kitchen, leaving Davis sitting fuming at Ashley.

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Sawyer was really starting to get annoyed at her friends. First Logan had randomly left her in charge of the music saying he'd be back, which was over an hour ago. Now Jude hadn't shown up for his shift at the DJ table. As Davis came into sight she waved him over frantically.

"Thank god, If I have to take another request from some airhead I will shoot something," She said, pulling him behind the table.

"I can't take a shift," Davis replied, looking around the room. "I need to find Lydia."

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Sawyer pushed past him. "I have been here way too long. Your turn."

"But I need-"

"NO," she cut him off. "I will find Lydia, along with our missing drummer and lead singer. You stay here."

Sawyer walked off searching through the crowd. Finally she spotted Jude through a window. She stalked that way fully intent on giving him a piece of her mind. But as soon as she slipped through the glass door, she saw just enough of his face to know something was wrong.

"Jude," she called, which caused the boy to jolt around wiping at his face.

"Sawyer, sup?" he replied, clearing his throat as she came to sit next to him.

"Nothing much," the blonde answered. "Logan went MIA on me. Have you seen him?"

"No I haven't," she watched as he avoided her eyes. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she replied. But she wasn't sure how to talk to him. Jude was always the quiet one. He never told the others when he was having problems, and Sawyer was afraid what that might be doing to him.

"Jude," she started, and he turned to face her. "If you ever need to talk, about anything, you can talk to me."

A small smile crept across his face. "Don't worry about me Sawyer."

"Can't help it. It's in my DNA to worry about my friends," she nudged his side. "It's getting late. Have you seen Lydia anywhere?"

As if on cue the brunette came walking up to them, looking more depressed then Jude. "You okay?" he asked, looking up at her.

She shook her head, and looked at Sawyer. "Are you ready to go?"

"I kinda need to find Logan first. I haven't seen him in a while," Sawyer replied, biting her lip.

"I can take you home if you want," Jude said, standing. "My drums are already packed up."

"Thanks," Lydia said, and gave a small wave to Sawyer. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye guys," Sawyer replied, as her friends walked off. Now it was time to find Logan.

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The ride to Lydia's house was silent. Jude didn't know what happened to make his friend so upset, but he'd bet money his brother had something to do with it. He wished there was something he could do to make her feel better.

As the car pulled to a stop in front of the Scott house, Jude turned towards Lydia. She made no motion to get out of the car.

"Ok Lyddie, what happened?" he asked getting her attention.

She shrugged as tears fell down her face.

"Come on, talk to me," he pleaded, placing a hand on hers. "Did Davis do something?"

"No," she replied softly. "At least not intentionally."

He gave her a confused look. "I don't understand."

"Ashley's back in town," she said, wiping at her tears. "I know it's stupid to be jealous of her. I mean he was such a different guy back then. I guess I'm just scared he'll fall into her trap again."

"Ah," Jude responded, leaning back, as the radio started to play one of Jude's favorite songs. Only now the irony of it was kind of bothersome. _"So Look around your world pretty baby/__Is it everything you hoped it'd be/__The wrong guy, the wrong situation__/ __The right time to roll to me."_

"Lydia, I know you like Davis, and you think that he's the right guy for you, but when Ashley's around he gets stupid."

"What are you saying?"

"Sooner or later he's gonna hurt you. And she'll be at the epicenter."

She pulled her hand back, glaring daggers at him. "Seriously? You of all people should trust my judgment."

"I don't trust Davis'," he said raising his voice. "Not when it comes to Ashley."

She opened the car door, and the cool night air rushed in. "I don't know what happened to make you hate him so much. But stop sabotaging this. I love Davis, and he wouldn't hurt me."

"Lyds," he called after her as she ran towards the house. Sitting there for several minutes he had to wonder if she was right. Did he really believe that Davis would screw up? Or was he just hoping for his own sake?

He rolled his sleeve up to his elbow taking three bands in his fingers pulling them back as far as he could. Slowly he released them one at a time. As soon as the pain coated his mind, he had enough energy to drive home. With one last look at Lydia's house he drove off.

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It didn't take Sawyer long to find Logan, but she wasn't expecting to find him plastered.

Sawyer," he called cheerfully. "It's great to see you!"

She pulled him off the bathroom floor, nearly falling over as she did so.

"Where we going?" he asked grinning wildly.

"Home," she answered, amused. "So you ditched me to go get drunk?"

"No, no. I'm not drunk I'm just," he paused for a second. "Okay yes I'm drunk. But only slightly."

"Whatever you say," they walked down the back stairwell out to the cool air.

He snuck out of her grasp and turned to face her. "Isn't it gorgeous out here?"

"It's nice," Sawyer replied, smiling. "But come on let's get you home."

"You're gorgeous too," he said catching her arm. He moved in closer touching his forehead to hers.

"Logan," she whispered. "You're drunk."

"So," he responded looking her in the eyes. "Doesn't mean it's not true."

He leaned in, his lips only inches from hers. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, but didn't dare move. So afraid that this would be the only time she'd ever be this close to him. He stopped moving, and she wondered what he was thinking. That was until he turned around, and began dry heaving.

"Gross," she muttered to herself, as the contents of Logan's stomach came back to haunt him.

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Davis finished loading the rest of the equipment into his trunk. He needed to talk to Lydia, but knew if he even thought of calling or going over there this late Nathan would skin him alive. But he had to explain to her that Ashley didn't mean anything to him anymore.

"Speak of the devil," he mumbled as Ashley made her way towards him.

"Hey you," she said leaning against his car. "Care to be a gentleman and give a girl a ride home?"

"Something tells me that would be a bad idea," he answered walking to the driver's door. She was just a bit quicker, standing between him and the handle.

"Come on Davis," she pouted, placing her arms around his neck. "Are you telling me you really don't have any feelings left for me?"

"I don't," he replied, closing his eyes. He knew he didn't sound convincing.

"Prove it," she pressed her lips to his, pushing him against the car. At first he didn't respond, didn't move, but then it was like another force was driving him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss, their tongues battling for dominance. They stayed like that for several moments, lost in each other's touch.

Davis pulled away first, and he ran his hands across his face.

"I knew you still wanted me," Ashley smiled coyly. "That was better than I remembered."

"That can't happen again," Davis murmured, turning away from her. "It won't."

"We'll see about that," She retorted. "Have a nice night."

He watched as she walked off, not sure what to do now. As he looked back towards Katie's house a very distinct figure watched him from the balcony. Even with the dark night sky he could still see the smile play across Tyler's face as the other boy raised his glass to him.

**Music in this chapter**: Chapter title is Inside out by Eve 6, Welcome to The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance, Stella and Bad Enough for You by All Time Low, Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People, Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan, and Roll to ME by Del Amitri.


	5. My Only One

**Disclaimer: I still don't own OTH, really trying but Mark is stubborn.**

**A/N: **Thanks guys your reviews mean a lot to mean. Really love this chapter and I hope you guys do too. No wasting time, let's get to it. Also only one song this week, I know I'm sad too. It's the chapter title My Only One by All Time Low.

My Only One

As Logan woke the next morning, he was pretty sure he never wanted to drink again. His head felt like it was about to burst open, his mouth was so dry that he was sure no amount of water was going to help, and the light from his bedroom window seemed twenty times brighter than ever before. Lying there in bed he began to piece together the night before. He remembered Sawyer and him near the DJ table, and getting so flustered at just being close to her. He went off and found a very large bottle of vodka, just to take away his nerves.

"Oh hell," he groaned, as the last part fell into place. Outside with Sawyer, so close to kissing her, then… Well that was a part he didn't want to relive. How could he be so stupid? He almost threw up on the girl he liked. There was no way she was ever going to see him as anything but a dork now.

"Logan, breakfast," Clay called from the hall, and it was the only time he ever wished his parents were less concerned with his welfare. He wasn't sure he'd be able to lie to his dad. It was their unspoken rule. They told each other everything important, from how Clay and Nathan's agency, Fortitude, was doing to what colleges Logan was looking into. But did he really want his dad to know the first party of the year had him head first puking into a hydrangea bush? Not really.

"Be right there," Logan replied, slowly getting out of bed. He walked to his dresser grabbing his phone. Just one missed text from Sawyer.

_Have a gorgeous day! *wink* seriously though you okay?_

He sighed pressing his fingers to his temples trying to rid the ache. He didn't know how to respond. Part of him wanted to tell her it was the alcohol talking last night. That he was just going by the liquid coursing through his blood stream. But what would that really accomplish? He'd still like Sawyer and she'd probably hate him for acting like an ass.

_You working today?_ He typed then picked through his drawers to find something to wear. A gentle knock sounded at the bedroom door and it threw Logan off. His father never knocked like that, and Sawyer would have told him she was here. _So who could possibly be… _he thought as the door swung open.

"Didn't your father call you for breakfast?" Quinn questioned, smirking at her son.

"Mom!" Logan crossed the room, engulfing his mother in a bone crushing hug. She laughed squeezing just as hard.

"You didn't miss me did you?" she joked as he pulled back. "Because if you did I'd never have known."

"I thought you weren't coming back for another two weeks?" he asked, grabbing a tee shirt from the back of his desk chair, and put it on.

"First that better be clean," she replied, pointing at his shirt. "And second, I wasn't about to miss my baby boy's first day of senior year."

"It's not that big a deal."

"I beg to differ," she placed her hands on her hips. "You only get one senior year, Logan. You have to make the most of it."

"You're right," he said more to himself then to her. He started to think about Sawyer and how her voice had sounded when she was so close to him. His phone bleeped with a text message.

_At Karen's. _Was the response.

"Any chance dad hasn't actually made breakfast?" Logan asked looking up at Quinn.

"As a matter of fact he hasn't. That was just a ploy to get you up early."

He rolled his eyes, still feeling the massive pressure sitting behind them. He had to tell Sawyer how he felt. Today.

"How about we go to café?" He inquired. "I mean so much better than making a mess of the kitchen.

"Okay," she responded. "Finish getting ready and I'll go tell your dad."

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Davis sat at the Rivercourt. It was too early on a Saturday for anyone to be in the park, but here he was, waiting. He had no idea how Tyler had gotten his number, but when his phone sounded nearly an hour ago, and the text popped up he knew last night wasn't a bad dream. He had kissed Ashley, which in itself had been a very bad idea, but even worse they had been seen by the one person Davis trusted the least.

Davis looked up to see Tyler's Cadillac pull up to the edge of the court. So many people had done this over the years that there were grooves in the grass. Tyler got out of his car and made his way towards Davis. A cocky smile was etched on the other boys face, making it harder for Davis not to want to punch him right then. Nothing good was gonna come out of this meeting he was sure of it.

"Hey D, how have you been?" Tyler asked, folding his arms in front of him. "It's a great day isn't it?"

"Why don't you just get to the point? Stop wasting both of our time," Davis replied, pushing his self off the bench.

"If that's the way you want it," Tyler said looking out to the river. "You know why I'm here."

"I know whatever you saw last night was a mistake, and you know I can't have Lydia knowing about it."

"That I do," Tyler responded. "Guess you're in an awkward position."

"Just tell me what you want Tyler." Davis stared at the other boy, and Tyler's smile grew.

"Come on, you know what I want." Davis bit back a retort about a nice kiss in the ass; he didn't think it wise to insult the person who held his relationship in his hands.

"I have no control over who Jamie puts on the team this season," he replied.

"We both know I'm already gonna be on the team. Next to you I'm the best player they'll have. And since you know the team so well, Coach Scott will more than likely give you the captain spot. Which is good because then you get to pick your co-captain."

"And you think I'm gonna name you co-captain? Micshw and I have been talking about this since we were twelve, I can't do that to him."

"Well what do you think the coach will do to you when he finds out you cheated on his baby sister? Not sure that captain's spot will look like such a sure thing," Tyler shrugged turning back towards his car. "But hey maybe you don't care that all your friends will hate you."

"Wait," Davis called out cringing at the words he was about to speak. "You got a deal."

Tyler turned slightly, an evil glint in his eyes. "Good choice."

But the burning was already starting in Davis' gut. This didn't feel like a good thing, not remotely. He kept repeating to himself that he didn't have a choice. That he had to protect Lydia. He knew that however this played out someone was bound to hate him in the end, but he wouldn't let it be her, not if he could help it. He just hoped he could make his best friend understand.

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Jamie loved Saturday mornings. Even since he was 11 he'd walk up early and go running. At the time it was with his dad, but as he slowly got older Nathan joined him less and less. But it didn't bug Jamie, he knew his father was a busy man, and lately he was even busier. Trying to run Fortitude, keep an eye on the café, raise his five younger siblings, and check in on Peyton and Sawyer. Nathan was stretching himself too thin, and Jamie was afraid of what might happen if his mother didn't return soon.

As he walked through the side gate and entered the backyard he could see Lydia sitting at the edge of the pool. Her arms wrapped her legs close to her body, and he could tell she'd been out there a while.

"Hey kid," he said coming up behind her and taking a seat. "You're up early."

She didn't look over at him, her eyes trained on one of the boy's pool toys. Jamie knew this meant something was really wrong. He didn't even get an eye roll from her.

"Ok spill, who did you have a fight with?" he asked staring at her until she turned towards him.

"What makes you think I'm fighting with anyone?" she retorted, a scowl etched on her brow. Jamie had to hold in a laugh. Lydia always reminded him of their mother the most when she was mad.

"Well the biting personality is really selling it. Is it Sawyer?"

"I'm not fighting with Sawyer," She replied, loosening her hold on her legs and placing them in the water.

"Oh wait I get it," he shook his head. It should have been obvious. "You're fighting with Davis."

"Why would you assume that?! Because he's some kind of lothario out to break my poor fragile heart?!"

Jamie held his arms up in surrender. "I was just guessing. I wasn't saying anything about Davis. Where did that come from anyway?"

She let out a deep sigh and turned herself to fully face Jamie. "It just seems like everyone thinks Davis is just going to make me another conquest."

"Everyone does not think that," Jamie replied cringing at her turn of phrase.

"Really, Dad, Sawyer, even Jude doesn't trust him," she turned her gaze away.

"Ah so now we're getting somewhere."

"What's that suppose to mean?" she glared, causing Jamie to actually laugh.

"I just mean you care a lot about what Jude thinks. You always have. If he's giving you this vibe about Davis then it must be upsetting you."

"I guess," she mumbled, staring at the beach ball across the water.

"There's more isn't there?"

"It's just… Ashley Donavan, Davis' ex, is back in town," she replied, and that's when Jamie noticed her tell. Jamie picked up on it when she was a child. Anytime she had something to say but didn't know how someone would react she'd she would lightly bite at the side of her lip, like she was bracing herself for their reaction.

"Are you afraid he'll leave you for her?" Jamie asked, but she only shrugged.

"He knew she was back and didn't even tell me."

"Well as a guy I can honestly say he probably didn't feel the need. I mean they've been over for a year. He's moved on," he added nudging her side. "Unless you really think something more is going on, I'd say forgive him."

She smiled at him leaning her head on his shoulder. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Well we could talk about how I struck out with the new guidance counselor the other day."

She pulled away smirking. "Really, do tell?"

"She's gorgeous, really guarded, has a great sense of humor, and I completely blew it. Seriously she might never talk to me again."

"What ever happened to Jamie Scott, the guy who can make a group of twenty something girls go weak kneed just by walking by?"

He ran his hands through his still sweaty hair. "I'm telling you Lyds I haven't felt this way since Madison."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Didn't you hear the part about me blowing it? What can I do?"

"You're a Scott, figure it out."

He rolled his eyes, remembering when Nathan first started using that mantra for them. It was right after Haley left to the treatment center. Everything was up in the air and no one knew what they were going to do. _We're Scott's. We'll figure it out_. Their father's voice echoed in his head.

"You're right. Can't get what I want by sitting here can I?" He enthused turning to get up.

"Just one word of advice," she said, as he sat back down. He could tell it was a bad idea the moment Lydia's eyes met his. She shoved him forwards, and the water splashed up drenching her.

"What was that for?" he sputtered out as he resurfaced.

"What? You can't try to win a girl smelling like you just came from the gym. I was doing you a favor."

"Thanks for that," he replied laughing, and Lydia joined in. And it hit him softly; sometimes he needed to just hang out with his sister, for no other reason than to catch up on catch others lives. He got a glint in his eyes moving closer to her. He grabbed her hand pulling her in.

"Jamie!"

"What? Now we're even," he said pushing water at her.

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Jude made his way across the busy lot to get to his father. Julian had offered to let him help out on set for the day. He wasn't stupid though, he knew his dad wanted to finish their talk from last week. Jude didn't know if he'd actually make it through a talk with his dad. He hated disappointing either of his parents, but it was harder with his dad. Jude felt like he and his father were cut from the same film strip. They had so many interests that over lapped it hurt to keep his father out of the loop. But he didn't want to worry anyone. He knew the second he told his father that his mother would find out, and he couldn't have that.

"Jude," a brute of a man called catching his attention.

"What can I do for you Sven?" he asked moving towards the prop trailer. He remembered the first time he wandered into the space when he was eleven. Sven nearly scared him to death with his towering frame and scowl engraved into his for head. But over the last five years he had the lay of the grounds, he knew the older man before him was all bark and no bite.

"I need these taken to set four. Their doing a billiards scene and someone forgot the chalk and eight ball, you mind?" He handed Jude the box.

"Sure, any ideas who's in the scene?" Jude asked as curiosity crept into his voice.

"Why don't you take the stuff over there and see for yourself?" Sven retorted annoyed. Jude rolled his eyes getting ready to walk off.

"Kid," Sven called again, and Jude turned around. "Prop sheet?"

He watched Sven wave the green clip board in front of him. He almost forgot to sign the props into his possession. It's the only way the sound stage could keep track of everything. If a prop got lost they could always track down who had it last.

"Right," Jude replied taking the board and scribbling his name, down.

"Who do you want me to sign them over to?"

"Hadley should be running set four's props today," Sven replied with a grunt.

Jude made his way to set four passing the items over. As soon as Hadley had signed the sheet he spotted his father a few sets over, and made his way to him.

"I'm not sure Lucas would actually say that to his father," Julian replied, skimming over a script.

"Well, maybe not but the writers just feel Dan's character needs some redemption from his children," said a man in a suit, that Jude could only describe as pompous. Seriously who knew fabric could really look down on someone. But Jude had a feeling the man was helping it along.

"Well, tell the writers that Lucas' character wouldn't, Nate maybe, possibly Charlie, but not his eldest," Julian shoved the papers back at Pompous, which made Jude stifle a snicker. "I want a new script by 5 pm tomorrow Sid."

Sid glared, but took the papers and walked off. As soon as he was out of ear shot Jude moved closer.

"Is his name seriously Sid?" Julian turned at the sound of his son's voice and smiled.

"Sidney, but Sid annoys him more."

"Nice," Jude replied, taking a seat in his father's director's chair. "What was that all about anyway?"

Julian pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. "The idiotic network writers are trying to soften my characters into sappy, two dimensional boxes before the show ends."

"Oh," Jude lowered his head. He almost forgot Ravens was entering its last season this year. He couldn't believe in a matter of months these people who had become like an extended family were all going to scatter, back to the corners his father found them in fourteen years ago. It really didn't help the growing emptiness inside him to know something he prized would be gone soon.

"Don't worry I'd never let Ravens go out like that. We're just having some creative disagreements. Basically I disagree with their idea of creative," Julian laughed, but Jude just nodded along. "Okay come on that was funny kid."

Jude looked up at his father. "Yea sorry, I was just thinking. It won't be the same when everything's gone."

"We'll still have the sound stage Jude. Get a movie in here, or another show," Julian clapped his son on shoulder. "You'll see."

"But it won't be Ravens," Jude mumbled to himself, but was sure his father had heard him. He met his father's eyes and could see a thought forming in the producer.

"How would you like to work on a special project for the series wrap?"

"Like what? Running the charity auction for everything that's getting sold off? Would an intern be better suited for that?" Jude asked, irritated at the thought of selling anything.

"No," Julian replied. "I was thinking of maybe doing a mini documentary of the behind the scenes wrap up. Get some fan reactions? Or how the show has improved local tourism for the community? Unless you think I should give this to one of the interns."

"Are you serious?" Jude's smile grew at the idea. "Dad I'd love too."

"Good, I need someone I trust on this, and I don't trust anyone behind a camera more than you," Julian flagged down a PA with a clip board.

"Clyde, me and my son are off for a mid morning breakfast. If you need me call my cell." Clyde nodded earnestly, and scuttled off.

"Seriously dad this is an amazing opportunity. Thank you," Jude said as they walked towards Julian's burgundy Ford Expedition.

"Hey, what kind of father would I be if I didn't support your dreams?" Julian asked smiling. "Now how about the café for breakfast?"

Jude nodded a smile still plastered on his face, it was the first time in a while he didn't have to force it to stay.

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Two hours and thirty seven minutes, Sawyer noted as she filled the coffee for table four. That's how long her mother and _Jake_ had been sitting at the corner table. Every other table in the room had already turned over at least three times so far, except that one. She was considering 'accidently' dumping a dark liquid down her mother's new fitted jacket, but then remembered it was _her _jacket. Peyton had borrowed it the night before.

She was sure she was driving herself crazy by looking over there every few minutes, but she couldn't help it. Every time her mother's lively laugh filled the space Sawyer was reminded of the only other man who could make Peyton laugh that way. As images of her father kept filling her brain every now and again, she was having trouble concentrating on work, which was supposed to be her distraction today.

After last night's party disaster, she really needed a day where she focused on nothing but work. But of course when there was a lull and her mother and Jake began whispering again, her mind rushed back to Logan. Without thinking she brushed a spot on her cheek, remembering his breath so heavy last night, so full of… Want? Need? More like alcohol. Sawyer couldn't believe she was going to let him kiss her. Let their first and maybe only kiss be tainted by a stupid party and too much vodka. It was better he got sick, well not for her favorite pair of Converse that happened to be too close to the splash zone. But for her heart it was. She wouldn't have been able to go back to them being friends. She wouldn't have been able to look him in the eyes, when her greatest dream had become nothing but a drunken memory, if that.

She wondered if he remembered it at all. If so she was sure to get an extensive apology the next time they talked. But if he didn't then she could pretend. Pretend it was a dream, pretend it was wishful thinking, pretend it didn't crush her heart.

She walked towards her mother's table. "You two need a refill?"

Peyton looked up, and Sawyer could tell it took her a second to comprehend. It happened every time her mother was with Jake, like she took a trip to a far off place and had to readjust to reality.

"Yes please," Jake replied smiling. It's all he ever did when Sawyer saw him. She vaguely wondered if the man had any other facial expressions.

"Sawyer you finally get to meet Jake's daughter Jenny. She will be here in a few minutes," Peyton commented, looking to her daughter. "Isn't that great?"

"Um, yea. Really great," which was really the worst lie Sawyer had ever told, not like her mom or Jake noticed. They'd have to stop being wrapped up in each other to have even heard the sarcasm that oozed from the teens response. The bell above the door sounded and Sawyer turned.

"Crap," she muttered, turning back to the table. Peyton looked up at her daughter's sharp tone.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked her daughter in amusement.

"Nothing," Sawyer replied looking over her shoulder and then hissed. "Logan's here."

"So you _like_ Logan," Peyton whispered, which reminded Sawyer she didn't get a chance to tell her mother about last night. She had debated waking her up when she came home but then the subject of drinking would come in. She really didn't want to get Logan in trouble for one night of stupid.

"I know, I just wasn't expecting him," Sawyer responded. "I mean none of my friends willing get up this early on a Saturday. Well except Lydia but she's weird."

"Wow I miss the days when ten thirty was considered early," Jake interjected. "That feels like a million years ago."

"I know what you mean," Peyton countered. "Seems like another life."

_Which is what I'm going to need if I hear anymore of this sickening crap._ Sawyer thought to herself with an internal eye roll. They kept saying things like that to each other. Things that eluded to when they had been together.

"Is that Quinn with them?" Peyton's voice pulled Sawyer back, and she looked over at Logan. Sure enough the whole Evans clan was seated near the window. "I didn't know she was back."

"Neither did I," Sawyer noted her voice falling slightly. "I should go take their orders."

"Okay, but Jenny will be here soon so make sure you don't get too wrapped up in talking to them," Peyton said and then added. "Oh and tell Quinn I said hello."

As Sawyer approached the table Quinn seemed to be engrossed in a tale from her travels, which seemed to end with. "And if you've ever sat in a bamboo skirt you know how painful that must have been."

Clay laughed at his wife. "I seriously doubt either of us have babe."

"You never know Clay," Sawyer threw in and pointed her pen at Logan. "You're not with this one twenty-four seven."

Clay and Quinn laughed hysterically. But Logan shot her a mock glare that, if she didn't know better, softened into something very different. She couldn't keep her eyes on him for long. Something in the way he kept looking at her was keeping her from focusing clearly.

"What can I get for you?" she asked turning to Clay and Quinn.

"I'm thinking pancakes or fajitas?" Clay asked scanning the menu to which Sawyer smiled in amusement.

"We don't serve fajitas," she replied.

"Since when?" His face looked deflated, which only made Sawyer want to laugh.

"Since the place reopened fifteen years ago," Sawyer answered filling the coffee cups.

"He'll take the pancakes. Stop harassing her," Quinn piped in, smacking Clay lightly. "And I'll have French toast."

Sawyer wrote the order down bracing herself as she turned towards Logan. "What can I get you?"

"I um, I'll just have toast and apple juice," Logan stumbled out and then dropped his gaze.

"Okay," Sawyer gave him a look but decided not to say anything.

"I'm going to go put your order in. I'll be back with your juice." She walked to the counter still weirded out by Logan's reaction. Stealing another glance towards him she had to wonder if his weirdness had something to do with last night. Maybe he remembered but felt weird around her. Sometimes she wished life had a reset button. She could just go back and call a do over. At least the awkwardness would be lessened. She looked up again and Logan was standing in front of her.

"Hi," she said setting a glass in front of her. "I was just bringing this over."

"Thanks. Um, can we maybe talk?" Logan motioned to the back room. "Alone."

"Sure," she looked around the room real quick. "We have a few minutes before your parent's food is ready."

"Great," he said and she followed him to the store room.

They stood there for a while, Logan's eyes were trained on the floor and Sawyer's discomfort grew.

"Look, Logan I really need to get back out there, before the lunch rush starts," she tried to walk out the door, but he caught her by the arm.

"Wait," Logan began then faltered.

"I really don't have time for this. So if you want to apologize for last night or pretend it didn't happen then consider it erased." She moved towards the door again but he didn't let go.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know how to do this."

"Do what?" Sawyer's voice rose.

"This, us," he ran his hands through his hair. Sawyer saw the frustration in his eyes.

"I really don't get what you're talking about. I already said we could forget about last night so… We're okay."

"I don't want to forget about last night," he interjected.

"What?" she pulled away, not sure she heard what he said.

"I was nervous okay. I started to realize how much I like you and I didn't know how to tell you," Logan's gaze dropped to the floor. "I'm sorry."

Her face lit up. "You like me?"

Sawyer watched as a light blush crept onto his face. She was having troubling believing she was even standing there. Like at any moment she'd wake up in her bed, disappointed.

"So," he began but dropped his head.

"So," she echoed.

"I should get back to my parents," he mumbled, pushing his hands in pockets.

"Oh yea I need to get back to work," she pointed to the door. "You should go first."

"Right," he walked to the door, but before he left he turned. "We should go out some time."

"I'd love that," she responded, and watched with a smile as he walked out.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Lydia was so hoping she wasn't going to be late for her shift. Thanks to Jamie it took her an extra hour to get ready before work. Not that she was that worried. Sawyer wouldn't be upset if she came in a few minutes late, in fact her cousin probably would commend her on the action. As she made her way towards the door she spotted Jude and Julian.

"Lydia," Julian called as they grew closer. "How are you?"

"I'm good Mr. Baker. How are you?" She looked to Jude who seemed to have developed a great interest in the sidewalk.

"Good. The studio is a bit crazy right now. That's why we snuck away," he replied, but Lydia saw him look between her and Jude.

"Busy is good though. Lot's to focus on," she rambled.

"Yea. I'm going to go in now. See if they have any pancakes left," he looked at Jude and in a mock whisper said. "Talk to her."

As soon as he went in Lydia looked to Jude. He finally looked up and met her eyes.

"I'm sorry," they blurted in unison. He let out a small laugh and she smiled.

"Lyds, I was a jerk last night. You're relationship with Davis is none of my business." His eyes never left hers.

"No you don't have to apologize. You were looking out for me. And I love you for that." As soon as the word left her lips, Lydia felt a wave of weirdness cover them. "I mean you know that I love you as a friend. Like Logan or Sawyer."

"Yea," he responded, but she felt the confusion in her voice. "So from now on I will stay out of yours and Davis' relationship. I promise."

"And I promise not to jump down your throat when I'm really upset with him. It's not fair." She moved closer pulling him into a hug. "You are my best friend okay? Nothing's going to change that."

"Good to hear," Jude replied as she pulled back.

Lydia was about to say something else when she spotted people coming around the corner. Now Tree Hill wasn't a very large community. It wasn't rural America small, but you could recognize most people. The woman and small child who came walking towards them were definitely new in town. The woman had chestnut brown hair that flowed down her shoulders in a messy ponytail. She had a sweet smile splashed on her face, as she reacted down and swung the girl up to rest on her hip. The child seemed to be no older than her younger brother Keith, so she'd say either three or four. Her sun blonde hair was done in two braids that started at the top of her head and traveled down the sides. They looked so cute together.

"Hi," the woman said as she reached Lydia and Jude. "Is this Karen's Café?"

"Yes it is," Lydia replied. Off handedly she thought of how cute she'd be with Jamie. Then remembered her brother was already crazy about someone new.

"Good. My dad sucks at directions. I have been down three different streets already."

"I hungwy," the girl whined looking at her the woman.

"I know let's go inside and find Papa," the brunette replied and turned to Lydia. "Thank you."

As she walked past entering the café, Lydia looked to Jude and whispered. "I wonder who that is?"

"Well we could go inside and find out," Jude countered. "Unless you think we'll learn more out here."

"Come on," she grabbed his arm, pulling him inside. As the door closed she watched as Sawyer made her way to her mother and some guy that Lydia would only assume could be Jake. Mystery woman and the kid were standing off to the side of the table.

"Hon," Jake began. "This is Peyton's daughter Sawyer. Sawyer this is my daughter Jenny, and my granddaughter Avery."

Lydia wasn't sure she heard him correctly, so she moved in closer.

"Oh Lydia come here," Peyton called, and Lydia turned to motion to Jude, who apparently abandoned her to go talk to Logan instead.

"Hey Aunt Peyton," she greeted standing next to Sawyer who was looking anything but happy. Nauseous maybe.

"Jake this is Nathan and Haley's daughter Lydia," Peyton commented looking at Jake.

"It's nice to meet you," Jake addressed.

"You too," Lydia replied, but felt a slight pinch at her back, and looked to Sawyer. "Love to stay and chat, but Sawyer and I should really get back to work."

"Oh that's too bad," Jenny's face fell. "I was hoping we could talk."

Sawyer shrugged her shoulders, and pulled Lydia away. "Sorry. Next time for sure."

As soon as they were far enough away Lydia felt Sawyer push her all the way to the store room.

"I can't believe it!" Sawyer exclaimed as she rested against a wall. "I mean I knew he had a kid. That's not surprising, but my mom could have mentioned the whole kid having a kid thing."

"So she made no indication to that?" Lydia asked.

"None what so ever. And what is the big deal about us meeting anyway. It's stupid and-" She stopped abruptly looking at Lydia fearfully. "Unless."

"Unless, what?"

"What if it's getting really serious, and their getting like married or something? Oh my god what if she's pregnant?" Sawyer screeched.

"Okay, A) you might want to be a little quiet when using the 'p' word in this town," Lydia towed her into a hug for support. "And B) I really don't think your mom is pregnant."

"Then why now," Sawyer pulled away. "Why is she so persistent about this?"

Lydia didn't want to upset her friend, but she could understand her aunt's actions. "She doesn't want to waste time. She's already lost so much. She needs the time to live."

Sawyer shrugged and picked at her jeans. "It's not fair."

She remembered saying that same thing to Nathan when her mother went away. She needed her mother, so badly over the past summer, but she didn't have her. "I know. But sweetie, I don't think there's anything you can do to change it."

"You're probably right," Sawyer mumbled. "I should get back out there. Please hurry though. I think I feel the coffee pots ready to rebel against me."

"I'll be right there," Lydia waited for Sawyer to leave before pulling out her phone. She pressed in the number she had memorized over the last few weeks, though she hadn't used it yet. Maybe Sawyer couldn't change things for her family, but Lydia had to try, if for no one else then at least for her dad. He was drowning trying to keep everything together.

"Hello is this Carolina Outreach?" she inquired, taking a deep breath. "Good. My mom is a patient there and I was wondering what your visiting hours are on Monday?... Nine until noon is your first set…. Thank you….. Can you put Lydia Scott down to see Haley Scott, but don't tell her. I want it to be a surprise."

As she hung up she was sure she was doing the right thing, she just didn't know how she'd be able to skip school without her father finding out. It wasn't something she was used to doing.

She was just about to exit the room when the door opened again.

"Davis," she stepped back in surprise.

"I know you're still mad at me but I just want you to know nothing is going on between me and Ashley," he started and took her hand. "So yell or kick me but please let's get this fight over with. Because I really hate when you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad any more I promise," She replied kissing his cheek. "I tried to call you but your mom said you left your phone at home."

"So we're okay?" he asked, still looking conflicted

. "Yes, we're fine. But you look a little off."

"I think I might be coming down with something," he countered, pulling her into a deep kiss. The stood like that for a minute until Lydia pulled back smiling.

"Well if I get sick because of you I will have to make you pay for that."

"Somehow I might be okay with that."

Then the thought hit her. If there was one person who could and would help her it was Davis.

"Hey school for you starts Thursday right?" She placed her arms around his shoulders.

"Yea it does. Why?"

"Would you help me skip school Monday?"

P.S. Do you guys like knowing the music in the chapters? Leave me some feedback either way.


	6. Harder to Breathe

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nothing at all.**

**A/N: I want to thank those who have pointed out the formatting issue. I really don't know why it keeps happening, but i did check this one fully before posting. And hopefully any questions you have will be answered this chapter or later. Also there is no 'music in this chapter' section this time due to my overwhelming exhaustion today. Sorry. **

Harder to Breathe

As seven o'clock rolled around Lydia found herself on the Baker's front porch. She felt better leaving from here versus her own home. She hadn't told her father her plan for the day. He wouldn't want her going without him, but she had to. There were things she needed to tell her mother that she couldn't with him there.

As she rang the door bell she waited for the door to open. She had almost considered going straight in through Davis' door around the side. But ever since they had started dating, Lydia had developed this weird vibe about entering that way. She didn't want Brooke or Julian to get the wrong idea about her or her relationship with Davis.

She expected to see Davis standing on the other side, ready to go, but as the door opened it was the other Baker twin who stood before her.

"Jude," Lydia yelped in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Um I live here," he replied furrowing his brow. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for Davis," she answered quickly. "He's supposed to give me a ride."

"I thought he already called you? My mom made him go to New York with her this morning."

"What? Why?!"

"Something about youth athletics. I was barely listening," he replied. "He called you last night, around eleven."

Lydia pulled her phone from her bag, and sure enough it was dead. "Damn it."

"If you need a ride to school I can drop you off. It wouldn't be any trouble."

She dropped her phone back in her bag, as a smile crept on her face. "What if I needed a ride, somewhere else? Could you do that?"

"Where do you need to go?" Jude inquired, as he grabbed his keys off a hook in the hall, closing the door behind him.

"Durham."

And two hours later they were pulling up to Carolina Outreach. As Lydia gazed at the stone building her insides began to melt. What was she doing? Why would she skip school and come all the way out here?

"Lyds?" Jude pulled her mind back to the car. She caught his eye and wished she knew what he was thinking. Hell she wished she knew what she was thinking. It's not like she had explained where they were going, or why. She hadn't even talked to him unless it was to give directions. But he didn't pry. And she was feeling grateful that Jude was here instead of Davis.

"I'll be back," she affirmed with a small smile. "I promise I'll tell you what's going on when I'm done."

"Do you know how long you'll be?" he questioned.

"I really don't," she looked around the parking lot.

Lydia watched as he reached over, pulling a thick worn out book from the glove compartment. "I'll just read 'til you get back."

She smiled at him as she stepped out of the car. "Thanks for this."

"Anytime," he replied and waved her off with the book.

The steps beneath her feet felt more foreign then she remembered. She'd never been here. Not once in the last three months had she made the trip to see her mother. She was always too busy with extra credit, or work, or Davis. But the truth was she didn't think she could do it. Knowing her mother was in a place like this was one thing. She could deal with that; accept that Haley had felt the need to abandon her children and husband. But to see her mother here would have been harder, and Lydia was sick of things getting harder.

But she knew she wouldn't be able to stay away forever. They had a connection. She could remember before her mom had Dani how close they were. Lydia would crawl into her mother's lap when Haley would play songs on the piano, or snuggle in close as she read stories from an old tattered cover. She didn't want to see her mother in any way other than the version who taught her to make dumplings when she was four. But growing up wasn't always about what you wanted. Sometimes it was about what you needed, or what your little brothers and sisters needed. And Lydia knew the kids needed Haley.

"Hello," she greeted as she stepped up to a solid oak desk. "I'm here to see someone?"

"Name of patient?" the older lady, who clearly used an entire can of hair spray each morning, asked as she rifled through papers.

"Haley Scott," Lydia replied and nervousness crept through her words. "I'm her daughter."

"Yes," hair spray lady responded, handing Lydia a badge and a clip board. "Sign in there. Clip this to your shirt. Leave your purse, wallet, keys, cell phone, and any jewelry in the dish," she pointed to a tarnished candy dish.

As she did what the lady, whose name badge read Margie, said she glanced around the front room, which didn't help ease her anxiety. The place looked like it was pasted straight out of a _Lifetime_ movie of the week. She couldn't think of anyone who would belong here. She for sure didn't. The place was too depressing, too stifling. She could have sworn her throat began to close.

"Right this way." Margie's voice pulled her off her train of thought, and she followed down a lengthy hall. If the front room was bad then the further you moved through the building the more abysmal it became. The faded yellow wallpaper was peeling at every corner, either from age or the hands of another. Which reminded her of a unit they had in English last year over Charlotte Perkins Gilman. She really wished the wallpaper had been any other color.

"Here we are," Margie's commented as they stopped in front of a white framed door way. "You have until noon. If you need anything use the call button on the wall. And just come back to the desk to sign out and get your things when you're done."

As Margie walked off Lydia was hesitant to go in the room. What was she going to say? How was her mom going to react? She looked back where she had just come from. She could leave. Her mom didn't know she was here, no one but Jude and Margie knew that. She could just go home and pretend this was all an elaborate day dream.

But curiosity won out, because she was curious. What was Haley doing here all day, every day?

She turned the handle and pushed the door in. It made a loud creaking sound that made Lydia jump. She hadn't expected that. And as she looked around the room she hadn't expected what she saw either. Her mother was sitting on a brightly colored comforter, with her guitar across her lap, and pages of blank staff paper in front of her. Lydia watched as her mother's gaze slowly moved up and a smile broke on her face.

"Lydia." Haley's voice was light and happy. It was just as she remembered it, from before her mom got sick.

"Hi mom," she replied and hoped her voice wouldn't betray her.

"This is a very nice surprise." Haley placed the guitar against the edge of the bed. "How are you sweetie?"

"Good. You know busy with school and everything." Lydia smiled lightly.

"Well you have to fill me in on everything." She motioned for Lydia to take a seat on the bed. "Do not leave a thing out."

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

Today was the day Jamie had been looking forward to all weekend. Once in a while he liked to take one of his siblings out for a one-on-one day, and he and Keith had a lot planned.

"I want a hot dog later," Keith pleaded looking up at Jamie with a smile. "And cotton candy, and ice cream, and a balloon, and a pony ride."

"Nice," Jamie replied with laughter. "Well, I don't know of any carnivals in town, but how about we hit the park first and we'll work on the rest later."

"Promise?"

"Oh yeah of course," Jamie smiled. He was glad he had the day with Keith. Given the age gap between them he always felt disconnected with the younger Scotts. But since he moved back he was working on changing that.

As they made their way to the old play ground Jamie spotted a familiar figure sitting on a bench near the swings.

"Jenny?" he questioned walking closer.

As she looked up a nervous smile crossed her face. "Jamie, hey."

"Surprised to see you here," he replied running his fingers through his hair.

"Well, you really didn't strike me as a jungle gym type either," she countered, as she looked next to him. "Who's this?"

Keith smiled shyly at her hiding behind Jamie's leg, which only made him chuckle softly.

"This is my little brother Keith. We are having a kind of guy's day," Jamie crouched down, and handed Keith a bill, pointing to a truck. "Why don't you go get an ice cream?"

"But daddy said no ice cream after breakfast," Keith stated, but his eyes kept darting to the man in the paper hat.

"Well I don't plan on telling him. Do you?"

Keith's face broke into a massive grin as he ran over to the frozen treats. Jamie watched as he looked over all the pictures.

"Wow, you must be a popular big brother," Jenny commented, but something in her voice threw Jamie off.

"What it's not like I let him do this every day. We're just having a special once in a while thing."

"Where you're having him defy his father's wishes?" She crossed her arms. "Great role model."

"Okay, did I do something to offend you? I mean I called and apologized about the kiss, several times."

"Yes I know. I got your messages," she answered as she stood up. "It isn't about that."

"So you have something against ice cream, makes more sense," Jamie joked, nudging her arm, but she still didn't smile. "Seriously what did I do?"

Just then a small girl came walking over to them. She looked up at Jamie and smiled. "Hello."

"Hi," he replied. "And who do you belong to?"

Jenny bent down picking the little girl up. "She mine."

Jamie had had a lot of practice with uncomfortable situations. Being the son of a former NBA player and a music superstar didn't come without its problems. But he always knew what to say. If someone brought up his mom's work or the point shaving his dad did in high school, he always had the right response. But in that moment he couldn't find anything remotely intelligent to say. So he silently thanked his little brother when Keith walked back over.

"Jamie," Keith's voice pulled him back to reality. "Some big kid pushed me down and I dropped my ice cream."

Jamie pulled him up into his arms checking him over. "You okay?"

"Yea, but mad," Keith's face was set into a frown.

"I'll make you a deal. After lunch we'll go to a ice cream parlor and get you a huge one," he offered.

"Deal," Keith agreed. Turning to the girls he whispered. "Who's that?"

"Keith this is my… friend Jenny, and her daughter-"

"AJ," the little girl interjected, with a smile. "Mommy can we get ice cream later?"

Jamie smiled as Jenny shook her head at him. "We'll see sweetie."

"Jamie can I go play with AJ?" Keith asked quietly. "Please."

"I don't see why not. Jenny?" he questioned setting the boy down.

"Have fun," she answered. As soon as AJ was down the two ran towards the playground.

They both took a seat on the bench, and watched the children play.

"So," Jamie began, glancing over. "You're a mom."

"Nothing gets past you," her response was sarcastic, but she smiled sweetly at him.

"That explains a lot," he turned to face her, and she twisted towards him too.

"Really?"

"Well some of it," he conceded. "So how old is she?"

"She turned three last month," Jenny answered.

"And AJ is short for?"

"Avery Jagielski-Morgan."

"She has her dad's last name then?" Jamie asked but Jenny turned her head away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to… Is her father still-"

"I'd rather not talk about it," she cut him off. "It's just really personal."

"I'm sorry. I do that sometimes. Pry into other people's business. My cousin Lily used to say that if I was a Greek hero it would be my fatal flaw," he rambled hoping she'd smile. But one look at Jenny face could tell you she was a thousand miles away.

"So why did you move to Tree Hill?" He asked, and her eyes refocused.

"My grandmother's sick," she replied, a soft smile on her face. "And I didn't want my dad to have to deal with things alone."

"I'm sorry about your grandmother. It's not easy losing people."

She looked him in the eyes, and Jamie could tell if she was trying to read him or if he had something on his face.

"You sound like you're speaking from experience?"

"Yea, I've lost my share of people over the last couple of decades." He looked over checking on the kids. "Never gets any easier."

"Don't suppose it should," she replied absently.

"Can I ask you a question without getting my head ripped off?" He turned his gaze back to her and watched as she sighed deeply, but she was still smiling so he took that as a good sign,

"Sure."

"When I kissed you the other day," he began as he rubbed his hand on his jeans. "I mean you didn't pull away because of me did you?"

She gave him a long look and burst into laughter. "Something tells me you are not that insecure."

"I am. I just hide it well," he responded, with a laugh, but then his voice got serious. "I really want to go out with you."

"I can't Jamie," she stood walking down the sidewalk a ways.

"Why? Because you're a mom?" he motioned to AJ who was swinging next to Keith.

"Yes, among lots of reasons."

"Like what?"

"We work together. It would be weird if we broke up and had to see each other every day," she replied in a matter of fact tone.

"I'm suggesting dinner, maybe a movie, Jen. It's not like I want to get married tomorrow." Jamie noticed her flinched when he mentioned marriage, which would have made him laugh if she didn't look so distraught.

"I just can't Jamie, please don't push it," she stopped as they got closer to the swing set. "Come on AJ time to go."

"But Mommy," AJ pouted, planting her heals into the sand. "I want to play with Keith more."

"Hon-"

Jamie stepped in front of Jenny crouching down to AJ's level. "How about I give your mommy my number. Then we can set up a play date for some Saturday."

"Yay," the kids cheered as Jamie turned standing in front of Jenny.

"Smooth," Jenny commented. "Trick me into giving you my number by using my daughter."

"Technically, I already have your number, remember I've already called you with it," he pulled out his phone with a smile and sent a text. "There now you have mine."

"Sweetie," Jenny grabbed AJ by the hand. "Say bye to Keith and Jamie."

"Bye," she responded waving frantically. "Mommy you better call soon so I can have a play date."

"Yea Jen please call soon," Jamie called after them and she shot him a look. As soon as the girls were out of ear shot Jamie looked down at Keith. "Dude you are the best wing man ever."

"Wing man? Is that like a super hero?" Keith asked looking at him in confusion.

"Oh yea, one of the best," Jamie answered.

"Awesome," Keith countered. "The park was a great idea."

And Jamie had to agree. The park had sure been a really _great _idea.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

It was the last Monday of freedom before her final year of high school and she knew she should be excited. But Sawyer couldn't help recalling the time her mother told her about Sunday evenings. Peyton told her how when she was a teen Sunday's always reminded her of endings, and the feeling you get right before it ended. But her mom, Sawyer's grandmother, told her that just because a song ends that isn't a reason not to enjoy the music.

She was sad to think about high school coming to an end and leaving her friends. Graduating seemed like such a scary prospect, and moving on? She didn't know how she was going to do it. Then there was Logan. Every time she thought about him she couldn't help but smile. It made her crazy knowing anyone had that kind of hold over her.

Reaching in her jacket pocket she pulled out her cell, hitting typing in the familiar number. She listened to as the other end rang for a few.

"Hey," Logan's voiced floated through the phone.

"Oh hey," she replied mentally kicking herself. _Oh hey?_ Seriously? "How are you?"

"I'm good," he answered. "Just working on some new songs."

"Really? Anything good?"

"I got a few decent ideas."

Sawyer was about to respond when the back door swung open. Her mom and Jake came walking in laughing hysterically.

"Everything okay over there?" Logan inquired amusement in his voice.

"Um," She glanced over her shoulder, and Peyton gave her a small wave. "Yea, it's great. My mom just came in, with Jake."

"Oh," Logan commented in a knowing tone. "You need a savior?"

"Not at the moment," Sawyer smirked at the phone. "But I'd love to hear your ideas for that thing."

"Oh you mean the 'me asking you out' thing?"

"Yes that would be the thing," she countered as her mother's voice rose in more laughter. "Hold on. Mom?"

"Yes sweetheart?" Peyton inquired looking over at Sawyer.

"I'm on the phone," She motioned to the cell.

"Oh well we will try and keep it down," Peyton replied in a sarcastic tone and looked at Jake amused.

Sawyer turned away rolling her eyes. "So what are you doing this evening?"

"You can't do that," Logan stated.

"Do what?" Sawyer questioned.

"Steal my thunder like that. I asked you out first. So you can't then ask me out."

"I wasn't." Sawyer's tried to keep her voice even. "I was just seeing if you wanted to hang out, like we always do."

"I can't hang out tonight," Logan replied with a hint of enjoyment in his voice.

"Oh," Sawyer's voice fell, and she tried to hide her hurt. "That's okay."

"See, I kind of have this whole date planned out with a girl, and I'm hoping she's free."

A smile slinked across her face as she tried her best to hide it from her mother. "Well I bet she is."

"So I should pick her up at say seven tonight?" Logan asked.

"Seven is perfect," She responded. "See you then.

" "Can't wait. Bye."

"Bye." As she hung up the phone, she looked over noticing her mom was staring at her. "Something wrong?"

"Do you have a date tonight?" Peyton implored

. "What? No, why would you think that?" Sawyer dropped her phone back in her pocket and began twirling the ends of her hair. "I mean I have a thing with Logan later, but it's not a date. Not even close to a date."

"Oh sorry I asked." Holding her hands up in defense she pulled Jake by the shoulder. "We're headed back to the studio to get some work done. See you later."

"Bye," Sawyer called after them and as soon as the front door closed, she felt the ability to breathe again overwhelm her. She didn't know why she lied to her mom. If anyone would understand what it meant for Sawyer to be going out with Logan Evans, Peyton would be that person. But she could talk to her mom about things when Jake was around, and Jake was always around. It seemed like he followed her everywhere she went like an abandoned puppy dog. Sawyer was starting to get really worried about their relationship. But outside of a _Parent Trap _movie she never really saw a well executed 'break up' scenario play out. Plus she was pretty sure trying to ruin one couple while you start building your own new relationship was instant bad karma on your love life. And she'd be damned if she let anything ruin her and Logan. Just the thought of their names together made her smile. Sawyer and Logan. Now if she only knew what to wear.

OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHO THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH

It was as if Lydia had forgotten where they were or why they were there in the first place. As soon as she opened her mouth to speak everything came pouring out. From Davis to Sawyer and everything in between. It was nice to be able to talk to her mom about everything that had been going on. And for a few short hours she forgot. Then the clock struck twelve and she remembered.

"Mrs. Scott," Margie called from the door. "Visiting hours is over."

"Oh," Haley whispered and looked up at Lydia. "Can we have a few minutes to say goodbye Margie?"

"I'll give you four," Margie said leaving the room.

"I guess I better go." Lydia stood straightening her jacket. 'It was good seeing you."

"You could always come back," Haley mused eyeing her. "I mean it would be nice if you came again."

"Or you could come home," Lydia countered.

"I know you don't like me being gone, but please understand it. I need to get better."

"You are better mom." Lydia felt the tears welling at the corner of her eyes. "I don't get why you can't just come home."

"I'm not done here Lydia. I still have things I need to deal with before I come home to you guys." Haley averted her gaze, looking out the window. "You don't know how hard this is for me."

"Hard for you? Are you kidding?" Lydia yelled. "Dad is nearly drowning, trying to take care of us and the café and the agency. He can't do this alone Mom. I'm sure he puts up a front _every _time he comes to visit you. But he can't do this much longer. You have to come home."

Just then Margie reappeared at the door. "Do you need another minute?"

"No," Lydia shook her head, staring at her mother. "I'm done here."

She rushed out of the room. She didn't want to cry in front of her mother, not after that. As soon as she signed out she grabbed her bag getting ready to leave.

"Will you be scheduling another visit today?" Margie questioned as she came back to the counter. "I really think your mom enjoyed seeing you."

"I really can't. I have school." She waved goodbye, as she rushed out of to the parking lot.

As she reached Jude's car, she couldn't move anymore. The whole afternoon had been too much for her. Seeing her mom happy in this place hurt more than if she had found her catatonic. All the feelings rushed over her at once and that throat closing sensation hit again. It was getting harder to breathe as the seconds past. And before she knew it her knees had hit the pavement and tears streamed down her face.

Jude was next to her in a second, pulling her up and leaning her against the hood of the car.

"Lyds, Are you okay?" He asked resting his fingers beneath her chin.

She wanted to respond, wanted to say something, but instead she leaned into him wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Jude pulled her into a tighter embrace.

"Just take me home," She whispered in his ear.

The drive home was silent, and Lydia felt so grateful to Jude for that. As soon as they had pulled out of the parking lot he reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She sent him a small smile, and wrapped her other hand around his. They rode all the way back to Tree Hill like that, with Lydia holding on to Jude. Like if she let go she'd break down.

As they pulled up to her house and the car came to a stop she looked over to Jude and whispered. "Thank you."

"Anytime you need me, you know you can call." He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, a minute smile on his lips. "Can I ask you something?"

Lydia nodded not sure if she was actually ready for this, but he deserved the truth. After everything he did for her today he earned it. But before he could speak again tapping sounded on the passenger side window. Lydia turned and looked into her father's eyes. He was angry. She didn't need to roll the window down to figure that out and he was motioning for her to get out of the car. Lydia opened her door to get out and faintly registered the sound of the driver's door opening too.

"Hi daddy," she greeted nervously, as she stood in front of Nathan.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Nathan demanded. "Do you have any idea how many scenarios have ran through my head since your school called this morning? And to top it off, every time I called you it when straight to voicemail."

"My phone died," Lydia offered keeping her eyes trained on the ground.

"Well good that mystery is solved. Care to shed some light on the where you were portion."

"I went," Lydia began and glanced over at Jude who had suddenly become very interested in the paint on his car. "To see Mom."

Her father watched her for a long time, and Lydia could only guess he was trying to figure out if she was kidding. He looked like he was about to say something but she cut him off.

"I needed to tell to her to come home, that we needed her. That I needed her. But she doesn't care," she cried. "She's never coming home."

"That's not true Ly-"

"Stop it! Stop defending her. I get she was sick. She felt like she couldn't take care of us, but that was months ago. She's better, but doesn't want to come home," she stomped past him but turned around. "Thank you for taking me Jude. I'll see you later."

She knew her father and Jude were both staring after her hoping she'd turn around again, but she couldn't. She had already shown them too much of how she felt. Now it was time to go up stairs and bottle it back up. Her mother wasn't coming home; it was time to start acting like it.

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As he made his way up Sawyer's walk way Logan could have sworn there were life sized SR-71 in his stomach doing massive loops. He hadn't been this nervous since the time the band had played their first gig at TRIC. As he knocked on the door his mind raced with disastrous ends to their date, but as she stepped on to the porch he couldn't recall one.

She looked amazing standing there bathed in the setting sun, with a coy grin covering her face. He'd never seen her so done up, with a crimson top that rested on one shoulder and flowed down her other arm and a short tan skirt. She had even opted out of her normal Converse for a pair of coffee colored boots.

"Hey," she greeted, and Logan could hear the nerves in her voice. "I hope I'm not over dressed."

"You look perfect," he replied and motioned towards the car. "Shall we?"

While she walked past him, she reached over and laced her fingers in his, gently tugging him along. "So where are we going tonight?" she inquired when they reached his car.

He opened the passenger side door and smiled. "I was thinking we'd catch the HTA show at Level 5 tonight."

"Hired Teenage Assassins? Are you kidding me?" He didn't think her face could light up anymore. "I love them."

"Really? I had no idea," he teased. When she got in he made his way to the driver's side. "I also figured we could grab dinner there. Is that okay?"

"Yea," she answered looking down. "It sounds great."

As soon as they pulled away Sawyer reached over turning on the radio, and Logan glanced with a smile.

"Sorry," she apologized, putting her hands in her lap. "I guess we should talk or something. This is a _date_."

"You can listen to music if want, Sawyer," he commented, flipping through stations until landing on alternative rock. "Just because we're going out doesn't mean we can't be us."

"Well in that case," reaching into her purse she pulled out her iPod. "I sort of made a mix." She leaned over, hooking it into the stereo. Within seconds music pulsed through the car. "Much better."

"You're crazy you know that?" He asked mockingly, making her blush. "But I like it."

"So did you tell anyone?" she inquired. He looked over but her eyes were trained on the side mirror.

"I was gonna tell the guys but I couldn't get a hold of them," Logan responded. "And my parents would have just been weird about it. I mean I told them we were hanging out, just left out the date part. Did you tell anyone?"

"I wanted to, but my mom was pretty busy," she answered looking over. "Maybe it's better that way."

He couldn't help dropping his eyes a little in hurt, but she laced her fingers in his adding. "I don't want anyone to screw this up."

"Me either," he included, bringing their hands up and kissing hers softly.

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By the time Jamie got home with Keith the boy was fully knocked out. He got his brother settled into bed and was about to make his way to his own room when he noticed a light down the hall that was usually off. He pushed the door to the small music room opened. Nathan looked up to the sound but didn't move from his piano bench. A glass of scotch sat in front of him.

Before Jamie could speak Nathan cut in. "I let everything get out of control."

He came over claiming the rest of the bench seat. "That's not true Dad."

"It is. You gave up your job, Dani's unhappy, the boys are constantly fighting, and Lydia skipped school today to visit your mother," Jamie watched as his father downed his drink. "I shouldn't have let her go."

"Mom wanted to get help, she needed it. You can't beat yourself up for doing the best you can while she's gone."

Jamie looked down at the keys remembering a very different piano from his youth. The last time his mother had went through depression and set fire to her baby grand. She hadn't excepted help then, not at first, so he held hope that this time was different, it had to be.

"I don't know what to do about your sister," Nathan's words brought Jamie out of his memories. "The school called a disciplinary hearing; apparently one of her teachers saw her headed out of town this morning. No longer an unexcused absence."

"Well, maybe that good," Jamie countered. "She hasn't been happy there for a while. She only went because of mom. Maybe it's time she did something for her."

He placed a hand on his father's shoulder and got up to leave. "Mom will come back when she's ready. That doesn't mean we have to be on pause until then."

Jamie contemplated staying, but the way his father was staring at the keys told him Nathan needed to be alone. He needed to feel close to Haley, and this was the only room he could do that in.

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Jude had thought about Lydia ever since he left her house earlier. He couldn't believe no one had known about her mother. That she'd kept all that pain and anger to herself all these months. He knew why he couldn't tell people his issues, fearing his parents would blame themselves, but hers seemed more resilient. She didn't want people to see her any differently. There she was breaking into a million little under the surface and she wanted everyone to think everything was normal. He had to help her. He didn't know how he was going to do it but Jude knew he had to do something.

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"I didn't realize he wasn't in the band," Logan replied, laughter surging his words. He couldn't remember another date where he had laughed this much.

"He was holding a tuna melt and wearing suspenders," She countered, smirking. "But it was really sweet of you to try and get me their autograph."

He pulled to a stop in front of her house turning off the car. "I had a great time tonight."

"Me too," Sawyer responded with a hint of glee in her voice. As they sat in the car Logan still couldn't take his eyes off her. All night long he'd been stealing glances at her whenever he though she wasn't looking. Of course he was caught nearly every time.

"I should go in," she stated slowly, causing Logan to look at the time. Midnight. He hadn't meant to keep her out so late. Not that Peyton would mind, with it still being summer. But he knew she waited up for Sawyer, and his own parents would be waiting up for him.

"Yea, I should get home too." Logan agreed as the music in the background throbbed. He was pretty sure it was an old Killers song. "We should do this again."

"I agree," she nodded, opening her door. "Night."

"Bye," Logan replied and watched as she walked towards her door. The music changed and he barely noticed until words floated through the speakers. _I dropped you off/__just a little after midnight__/ __Sat in my car/__till you turned off your porch light__/ __I should've kissed you/__I should've pushed you u__p against the wall/__I should've kissed you/__Just like I wasn't scared at all_

Panic filled him. He shoved the door open and rushed up to the door; he knocked on the heavy wood, and waited. It was only a few seconds until Sawyer opened the door open.

"Logan is everything-" she was cut off as he pulled her close to him crashing his lips to hers. He wrapped one hand in her golden hair and held her to him with the other. He felt her wrap her own arms around his neck emptying the gap even more. _Now it was the perfect evening._ He thought to himself as they stood on her porch kissing in the moonlight.


	7. Human Nature

**Disclaimer: **Still own nothing in the OTHverse, unless you count all my added characters. I do own them.

**A/N:** I'm know a lot of you feel like the Baker twins storylines revolve around Lydia, and at the moment that may be true but I do hope that you stick with it to see what happens next. Thank you bunches for all the reviews, but I have some news, good and not good. Good news is it's November, and for those of you who don't know November is National Novel Writing Month, of NaNoWriMo. A great event that brings thousands together for a common goal: write a 50k novel in 30 days. I love NaNo and I'm looking forward to where my new story takes me. Which brings me to the not so good news: I have to take a hiatus from TRLJIR. It won't be a forever break because I honestly need to see where this group ends up just as much as you do. So I will be back with new updates starting December 2nd. See you all then. Now on to the chapter.

Human Nature

It was finally Thursday and Lydia was dreading her disciplinary hearing that afternoon. It had been a miserable week to say the least, being stuck at home during her mandatory suspension. People didn't get suspended from Oppenheimer; it just wasn't something that happened. She was sure the halls were abuzz with gossip over her absence. The fact that Clare Macron was probably spreading vicious rumors about her wasn't helping to calm her either. But worst of all she wasn't sure if she regretted it. Part of her was happy she'd finally gone and talked to her mom, even if it didn't change anything. She needed to see how Haley was, where she was. She needed closure, for lack of a better word. And now she finally felt like she had it, too bad her academic career had to hang in the balance.

She sat on the oversized sofa in the living room reading about the fall of the Roman Empire. It's not like she had much else to do. Her father was busy getting everyone ready for the day and Jamie had left early to get a jump on things at school. The sound of knocking brought her mind out of thought of Romulus Augustus as she made her way to the front door.

Jude stood there with Gray beside him, a small grin on his face. "Morning."

"Hey," Lydia replied. She hadn't talked to him since he dropped her off on Monday. Actually she hadn't talked to anyone all week, aside from the texts to Davis and Sawyer explaining that she was most likely grounded for the week, even though her father didn't exactly do that. Nathan just told her it was best if she didn't go out much. Which was fine by her. She didn't want to see anybody.

"My mom was gonna take the girls to school, but something came up and I offered," he supplied.

"I'm gonna go find Dani," Gray told them as she moved past Lydia and further into the Scott house.

"I actually wanted to see how you were holding up," Jude commented, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I mean I haven't heard from you since…"

"I know. I've been," she trailed off not sure how to explain.

"I figured. And not like you thought I would or anything, but I didn't tell anyone… about your mom."

She nodded not trusting herself to a verbal response. She couldn't decide if it was easier having Jude know about her mom or not. Of course he didn't have the full story, but he knew way more than anyone outside of the immediate family. Everyone believed her mom was in Europe supervising a rock tour. But Jude knew enough of the truth to have her scared. She trusted him to keep it to himself, she did, but did she trust him to leave it alone? To leave her alone? She didn't want to talk about, or think about it anymore than she already had to.

She reckoned she could at least verbally respond before he decided to speak again. "So school starts today?"

"Yea it does," he answered, but before he could continue Gray and Dani came rushing to the door.

"Come on, Jude we don't want to be late." Gray pulled at his sleeve exuberantly trying to drag him off the porch.

"I guess we're leaving," Jude replied mocking his sister's tone. "Call me later please. I want to know how your hearing goes."

She waved them goodbye and watched as they drove down the street. It hit Lydia then. Maybe having someone fully in your corner wasn't a bad thing. And if that person just happened to be one of your best friends? Wouldn't that be the nest thing of all?

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Davis was never one to show up early on the first day of school. He was more of the roll out of bed twenty minutes before the bus showed up. But this morning he had to think. Free throws helped him think. They were a constant, fixed point. Stand here, throw ball, ball goes in. Nothing to it. If only life worked that way. It had been days since Tyler's 'request' and he couldn't find a way out of it. Micshw was going to be angry. They'd been planning this out since middle school. And because of him it was all going to hell.

He looked up at the sound of heeled boots on the gym floor. Ashley stood before him in a simple black tank top, short red skirt with black stars, paired over fishnet stockings.

"You're early," she commented with a smirk.

"So are you," he countered focusing his attention back on the hoop. "You don't usually show up until third period."

"I resent that," she grabbed the ball as it bounced back. "Sometimes I don't show up 'til fourth." She paused then added. "You didn't call."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. She knew why he didn't call, yet her she was standing between him and his way out of the gym.

"Someone saw us."

Her smile faded into an amused look. "Who your _girlfriend_?"

"No," he replied grabbing the ball and taking a seat on the bleachers. "Tyler Swiatek."

"Am I supposed to know who that is?" Ashley posed, folding her arms in front of her.

"He used to play for West Lake. We've been to the same basketball camps since grade school," Davis explained. "And he hates me."

"So."

Of course she'd brush this off. Ashley didn't care if that someone saw, because she didn't care who found out. She wasn't hiding anything because she didn't do anything wrong. But Davis had.

"Ash, I can't let him tell Lydia. Or worse Jamie," he threw the ball towards the hoop, but didn't check to see if it had went in. "Basketball would be hell for me. Not to mention what my friends would do if I hurt her."

"What does he want?" she questioned taking the seat next to him. "I mean he is blackmailing you right?"

"Yea, he wants me to name him co-captain, over MC." He didn't pull away as she placed a hand on his shoulder. He knew he should, but still he didn't.

"You know what you need to do right?" she gave him a mischievous grin.

"No. But something tells me it might result in bail money." He knew Ashley too well to trust any plan she came up with.

"If one has dirt on you, you must then get dirt on them," she replied. "And no one's better at getting dirty then me."

That wasn't something he really wanted to be thinking about while his relationship with Lydia was clutched in someone else's grasp, but she was right. If he wanted to protect Lydia and keep his friendship with Micshw he'd have to do things her way.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked turning to face her. If he'd been thinking clearly he would have remembered that being so close to Ashley was a recipe for disaster. But he didn't remember until her lips brushed his.

Intoxicating. It was the only word that fit. It was why every time he got near her his head would get all fuzzy and he would lose control. And get lead astray in a cloud of passion and stupidity. It was also why he knew when to pull away. As he did her smile had grown tenfold.

"Don't worry about Tyler." Her voice was smooth and full of secrets. "I can take care of him."

She stood but before she left looked at him. She raised her hand stroking his cheek, but he didn't pull away. "Ash-"

"Shh," she cut him off. "I know."

Too bad he didn't. He loved Lydia; really he did, but Ashley. She was his first kiss, his first curfew break, his first... A lot of memories were wrapped up in that girl, some he'd like to forget he did and some he wished he could relive forever. He watched as she left. The same person as when she walked in. The question was would he leave the same?

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"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late," Sawyer screeched as she raced down the stairs. Backpack in one hand and shoes in the other, she ran straight into her mother. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Peyton had a smile plastered on her face. "Where you going in such a hurry?"

"Mom, seriously," she growled impatiently. "I need to grab a pop tart before school. I have to be there in fifteen minutes."

"Not exactly," Peyton grabbed her wrist before she could protest and pulled her into the kitchen.

The table was decked out with pancakes, sausage, eggs, toast, three kinds of juice, and tons of jams.

"Mom?" Sawyer questioned as she dropped her bag and shoes near the counter.

"I sort of messed with your alarm last night. Don't be mad," Peyton linked arms with her, leading them to the table. "I just figured since it was your last first day of school maybe you'd want to have breakfast with your favorite mom."

"First, you are my only mom, unless you have something to tell me. Second, you really shouldn't reset someone's alarm. Bad things could happen," she smiled as she sat down. "You know this won't really be my last first day of school, unless I decide to skip the whole college thing."

"Don't joke like that," Peyton replied loading her plate with pancakes. "Are you excited about school?"

"I guess," Sawyer shrugged. She still hadn't told her mom about her and Logan yet. It's not that she wanted to keep it a secret; in fact she wanted to stand on the roof top of Karen's and shout it out. But something stopped her. It was nice to have something to herself. Just thinking about their date the other night had a smile play across her face.

"What's got you smiling?" Peyton asked filling her mug with coffee.

Sawyer pursed her lips ready to come up with something to explain her mood, when there was a knock at the back door. She froze for a second. Did her mom invite Jake over for the morning? But Peyton looked just as confused as she did.

"Come in," Peyton called, and Sawyer laughed as Logan walked in carrying a plate of brownies.

"Why do you have brownies?" Sawyer questioned eyeing him.

"My mother thought my friends would like brownies on our first day of school," he replied setting the platter on the counter.

"That's so cute," Peyton stated, getting a sad look in her eyes. "I should have baked you something."

"Mom, I've had your bake goods. It's best on the fire department if you don't," Sawyer commented grabbing some bacon. "But you fry meats like nobody's business."

Her mother gave her a frown. "I'm ignoring you now. Logan would you like some breakfast?"

"No thanks. My parents made twice as much food and insisted I eat at least two of everything," Logan grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured some coffee.

Sawyer laughed as she got up and slipped her shoes on. "We really should get going."

"You barely ate anything." Peyton motioned to the table.

"Well as much as a appreciate you trying to give me a really early jump on the freshman fifteen," Sawyer joked throwing her bag over her shoulder. "But I still want to eat sometime this year."

"Ok," Peyton relented as tears formed at the corner of her eyes.

"Mom."

"No it's ok," Peyton stood pulling her into a hug. "Your father would have loved to be here today."

Sawyer dropped her gaze to gather herself. She didn't want to cry, not right now. "I know."

"You two have fun today. Logan, keep an eye on her," Peyton added giving him a look.

"I will Peyton. No worries," he replied pulling Sawyer by the wrist. "Come on lets go."

As soon as they were out the door and making their way to Logan's car, Sawyer nuzzled herself to his side. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a soft kiss.

"Good morning," she mused with a grin as they parted.

"I wanted to do that the second I saw you, but I didn't know if you told your mom," he explained as he opened her door.

"Not yet," Sawyer responded when he got in the car. Then she whispered. "Did you tell Clay and Quinn?"

"Before or after they tried to stuff me so full I resembled a Thanksgiving turkey?" he joked pulling away from her house. "By the way you look great today."

"Nice try." She reached over slapping him lightly and adding in an eye roll. She'd gotten dressed in seven minutes this morning, and barely manages to get all her hair into a pony tail. "I look like I got dressed in a closet. One handed."

"Then that look works for you," he countered, taking her hand and kissing it. "So are we acting like were not together at school?"

"Do you want to act like were not together?" she questioned trying to not let her feelings seep into her words. Of course she wanted to be a couple with him. Just the thought of some moronic girl trying to hit on him made her a little crazy.

"Of course not, but let's say were walking down the hall hand in hand and we run into Jude or Davis or even Jamie. I just wanted to know if we'll be jumping behind the lacrosse team."

"We don't have a lacrosse team," she commented pointedly.

"You know what I mean Sawyer," he gave her a look, then finished. "I'm fine with keeping this from them if that's what you want."

But she didn't know what she wanted. A large part of her wanted her friends to know but again that small selfish part whispered. _Keep it to yourself, just a while longer._

"How about we just play it by ear," she replied, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Sounds like a plan."

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Whatever cruel human being decided that chemistry at eight o'clock in the morning was a good idea, clearly was an imbecile. Jude sat at his lab table listening to Mrs. Graves rattle on about proper conduct in the lab area. He found irony in the person teaching him about dangerous chemicals being named Graves, but thought better than mentioning it. He looked over at his lab partner, Kellie Summers. She was sitting upright dutifully taking notes on proper microscope handling. Clearly she was going to be a joy to work with this year. He couldn't help staring at the clock watching the seconds tick away. Thank god the bell rang.

Jude made his way to his locker ready to discard his much too heavy science book, when a pair of petite hands covered his eyes.

"Guess who," the mystery person insisted behind him, letting out a small giggle.

"Well it's either Casey or I have a stalker," he replied pondering.

Casey pulled her hands back leaning against the row of lockers, a smile covering her face.

"Damn, I was hoping for a stalker." He was glad to see her today. It was nice to finally have someone to joke with.

"So how's your day going?" she asked a shy smile on her lips.

"It's going, better then stopping abruptly I guess." Jude pulled out a notebook and closed the door. "What do you have next?"

"Trig with Ms. Howard," she replied and followed as he made his way down the hall.

"You know the irony behind Ms. Howard's name right?" as she shook her head no, Jude's face lit up. "Marilyn Ann Thomas Howard, her name literally spells MATH."

Casey let out a mammoth laugh her face turning bright red. "Thanks now I'm gonna spend the whole class thinking about that."

"At least I made trig more entertaining," he countered. "Look the other night at the party I was kinda in a really not great place. Sorry if I blew you off."

"Nah, it was fine. I had so many people to catch up with anyway." There was something off about her voice but Jude couldn't place it.

"Ok, well I better get to English." He motioned to the hall behind him. "What lunch do you have?"

"Second," she responded.

"Me too, see ya then?"

She nodded and he watched as she walked towards the math hallway. Something was different about Casey this year and for some reason he needed to figure it out.

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Logan couldn't help it anymore, and it was only third period. He no longer could pretend he was listening to Mr. Williams' description of the Cold War. First off what teacher actually taught on the first day of class? Wasn't that a little cold? No pun intended. Secondly, Sawyer was sitting diagonally in front of him and he really couldn't help watching her as she scribbled notes down. He wondered if she was free Saturday. The Crescent was showing a John Hughes triple feature. And well he wasn't a fan of The Breakfast Club or Pretty in Pink they were also showing Sixteen Candles. If there was one thing he truly enjoyed it was watching Long Duk Dong explain how he crashed Grandpa's car into a lake.

"Mr. Evans," Mr. Williams' voice grabbed his attention.

"Yes sir?" he questioned looking towards his teacher.

"In 1949, West Germany became the Federal Republic of Germany. What did Communist East Germany become?" the older man looked at him impatiently.

"Um," he glanced around hoping one of his class mates could give him the answer through osmosis. "I have no clue, sir."

"The German Democratic Republic, and please try and pay attention, Mr. Evans."

"Sorry sir," he replied as the bell echoed through the room.

"Everyone read chapters three through seven before Monday," Mr. Williams called as the all shuffled out of the room.

Logan waited at the door for Sawyer to follow. As she walked out he fell in stride next to her. It was nice. Like a hint of the old times mixed with what they were now.

"So you and history really need to get reacquainted, Mr. Williams looked like he was gonna murder you," Sawyer mocked with a smile.

"Why did I agree to take history with you this semester?" Logan inquired. "I mean I hate the past very much."

"Well you agreed because I had to take one more semester, and you apparently like me a lot." She gave his arm a nudge. "Thank you by the way."

"Well I will be demanding repayment from you." Logan pulled her towards an empty class room, only to run into Davis.

"Hey guys," he greeted but Logan could tell he was distracted. "You heard from Lydia?"

"Not yet," Sawyer replied. "Uncle Nate said her hearing wasn't scheduled until one thirty. So we probably won't know anything until after school."

"Yea, I guess." Davis looked over their shoulder and Logan and Sawyer followed his gaze.

"Who's that with Ashley?" Logan questioned as Ashley propped herself on a row of lockers, her fingers linked in the collar of some guy's shirt.

"Tyler Swiatek," Davis replied a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Someone should warn him to get his shots updated," Sawyer retorted earning her a frown from Davis. "Sorry, my loyalties lie with Lyds."

"Just stay away from Tyler okay? Trust me," Davis countered, checking his watch. "I've got to get to English." He walked off getting lost in the crowd.

"Did he seem off to you?" Sawyer commented when she was sure Davis was out of hearing range. "I mean like really off."

Logan finished pulling her into the empty class room. "I really don't want to talk about Davis right now."

"Oh really? Well what do you want to do?" She asked wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Ahem." They both froze. Of course the room wasn't empty. How could they be that lucky?

Logan detangled himself from Sawyer and turned to face the voice. Jamie was sitting on a desk with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Jamie." Sawyer's voice was full of nervousness. "Is this your classroom?"

"Yes it is and by the looks of it you two are," he pointed to the clock. "Three classes early."

"Well, we wanted to say hi," Logan explained. "So hi."

"Hi," Jamie replied amused. "I know I've been out of high school for a bit but I'm pretty sure using classrooms to make out in is still against the rules."

"We weren't making out," Sawyer retorted quickly.

"You weren't?" Jamie questioned, looking at Logan. "Are you sticking with that story?"

Logan looked between Sawyer and Jamie conflict playing on his face. "I think we should get to class."

"That might be best," Jamie nodded. And Logan pulled Sawyer from the room.

"I can't believe that just happened." She buried her head in his chest. "I mean seriously how embarrassing."

"I don't know who blushed more you, me, or Jamie," he joked, lifting her chin with his hand.

"You think he'll tell my mom?" Sawyer asked horrified.

He let out a hearty laugh. "Yea I don't think Jamie would want to be that uncomfortable ever." He pulled her into a tight embrace. "But I think you should tell her before _she_ catches us doing that."

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Sitting outside her headmaster's office, Lydia finally started to panic. What if they kicked her out of school? It would go on her permanent record, she'd never get into an Ivy League school, and she'd probably get stuck selling clothes at a consignment store.

"Relax," Nathan told her, patting her hand.

"What makes you think I'm not relaxed?" she questioned straightening her bracelets so they lined up perfectly. She looked up and her dad was staring at her.

"Wild guess," he replied.

"Mr. Scott?" a gray haired lady called from the desk across from them. "Headmaster Anderson and Mr. Henderson will see you now." Lydia stood following her father into the office.

"Ah Mr. Scott," Headmaster Anderson greeted. "And Lydia, please take a seat."

"Sir may I ask why Mr. Henderson is here?" Nathan looked between the two men.

"I'm the one who caught your daughter skipping Mr. Scott."

Lydia kept her eyes trained on the floor. She was too scared to comment or move.

"Now Lydia I take it we do not have to explain why what you did is wrong?" Headmaster Anderson asked, and she looked up.

"No sir."

"Good. Now unfortunately Lydia is well versed in our rules at Oppenheimer. We do not tolerate cutting class for any reason, barring personal illness. That being said we do feel that you have missed enough school already, and expect you back tomorrow."

"Is that it?" Nathan looked at the headmaster confused. "We had to wait nearly a week for you guys to decide that just a suspension would do?"

"Mr. Scott, please let me finish. You have missed four full days of classes, Lydia. Due to the reason behind that, we cannot let you make up the work," Headmaster Anderson finished.

"But if I can't make up the work, I won't be eligible for valedictorian next year." Lydia gapped at her teachers, looking to her father.

"We are also pulling you from you positions as head of your clubs," Mr. Henderson added.

"This seems a little extreme. I mean yes she skipped a day, but she's sorry and she knows it was wrong," Nathan defended.

"Mr. Scott the decision is final," Headmaster Anderson stated calmly. "This is a fine institution, built on integrity and fortitude. It has a long proud history."

"Of what crushing poor kid's spirits and dreams? Sir, I know a lot about fortitude, and no one at this school has more of it then my daughter." Nathan rose from his chair. "I understand that you believe your decision is right, but it's not. Lydia has talked about nothing else then becoming top of her class since she started at this school. She's worked countless hours on school and club projects, has had hundreds of sleepless nights due to studying, and for what? To get it thrown in her face because she made one error in judgment? That's not fair."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Mr. Scott, but life isn't fair," Headmaster Anderson replied. "And as your daughter's school we are here to teach her lessons like that."

"Well then maybe the judgment error is on me for letting her come here in the first place." Lydia looked up at her father taken back by his words. "Get your stuff Lyds, we're going."

"Mr. Scott?" the headmaster questioned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean my daughter deserves a school that will help her succeed not help her fail."

Lydia stared astonished at her father not sure what to do. But as Nathan moved towards the door she had no choice but to follow. They made their way out of the building and all the way to the car before they spoke.

"I'm sorry kiddo," Nathan began looking over to her.

"It's okay," she whispered with a small smile.

He pulled her into a side hug, kissing the side of her head. "I blew it in there."

"You didn't dad. I really appreciate how you were in there."

He nodded along starting the car. "What a crappy day huh?"

"Well I do say we have had better days."

"So," Nate interjected glancing at her. "Pie?"

She smiled. Life was a mess right now, and no it wouldn't be fixed in one afternoon. But maybe it was time to make this change.

"Pie sounds great," Lydia replied and glanced at the side mirror watching Oppenheimer disappear for the last time.

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"Current events aren't just news," Jamie stated walking around the room, as he placed packets on everyone's desks. "It's everything from music to books and movies. It's culture. It's who we are, what we're becoming.

"This class isn't going to be easy. So if you signed up thinking it would, I strongly suggest you go see the guidance counselor right now." As he reached his desk he leaned against it continuing. "Unless you plan on being on the team this year then you're stuck with me."

The class laughed and Jamie looked down smiling. "You're first assignment is to find a current article. Two page paper over why you picked it and a summary of the article so I know you read it."

Logan raised his hand. "Yes Logan."

"So we can do an article from _Rolling Stones_?" Logan asked.

"Yes, _Rolling Stones, the New York Times, even THUD Magazine._ As long as it's current," Jamie countered. "I know this sounds easy guys. But learning about the world around you and how you'll fit into isn't an easy thing."

The bell sounded, but no one made a mass rush towards the door. "Alright guys assignments due on Tuesday. Now get out of here, go home."

The students got up filing out of the room. "Davis, hold up a sec."

He made his way to Jamie's desk. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?" Jamie looked at him confused. "No, Davis this is about Tyler."

"What about him?" Davis answered, defensively.

"Well you've had the most experience with him on the court. I just wanted your opinion." Jamie placed some papers in his briefcase. "Can he play a team game?"

"Tyler's an ass," Davis responded. "But he's good, crazy good. And he plays an aggressive offence."

"I'll keep that in mind." Davis made his way towards the door, but Jamie pulled him back. "I talked to my dad."

"Oh, how did that go?" Davis asked, looking more interested.

"Not good, apparently. I think my dad got her kicked out," Jamie added.

"Seriously?" Davis' expression was priceless.

"Don't worry," Jamie waved it off. "I'm sure everything will work out."

Jamie and Davis stood in silence, the awkwardness crossing between them.

"I should go," Davis stated, pointing to the door.

"See ya later."

Jamie watched as Davis left passing Jenny who was walking in.

"Hey," she greeted leaning on the door frame.

"Hey," he welcomed. "How was your first real day?"

"Good," she responded. "Well until ten minutes ago."

"What happened ten minutes ago?" He looked up from packing his things in his bag.

"My car hates me and won't start. Which really sucks, because if I don't leave soon I'll be late picking up AJ."

"I can give you a ride," He replied, moving closer to the door. "I mean I promised my dad I'd pick up Keith and Jessie at daycare. It really won't be any trouble."

"Are you sure you'll have room?" she mused.

"Yea I have the minivan today," Jamie answered, looking embarrassed. "Please don't mock me."

"I wasn't going to," she stuck her arms up in surrender. "Thanks."

"No problem." He walked with her down the hall.

"So you need anything out of your car?"

"Just, AJ's car seat." She looked at him nervously. "Sorry about the way I acted at the park. I was not really the friendliest person."

"Don't sweat it," he eased. And waited by the van as she grabbed the car seat. It only took a minute to get it situated in the back.

"Keith is going to go crazy when he realizes he gets to hang out with AJ," Jamie commented as they got in the vehicle. "He's talked about nothing else for days."

"Well, he made quiet the impression on her too," Jenny replied with a smile. "In fact I'm pretty sure we won't be able to pry them apart for at least a few hours."

"You guys could come to _Karen's_ with us," he offered with a smile. "I mean only if you want to."

"Sure." Jenny smiled in such a way Jamie couldn't help but join her. He didn't know what was wrong with her car, but he had never been so grateful for mechanical failure.

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He knew where she'd be without even thinking about it. That's what happened when you knew someone your whole life. You remembered things like their favorite places. So Davis knew she'd be on the roof top of _Karen's, _but he forgot about the balloons.

As he stood in front of the building an orange balloon splattered next to him, soaking his pant legs. He looked up to see Lydia leaning over the side, an apologetic look on her face. Shaking his head he made his way inside and up the staircase to the roof.

She was still standing near the ledge, balloon poised in her hand, with a determined look on her face. It made him smile to see her like that. When they were younger and had a bad day, Brooke and Haley would bring them up here and help them toss water balloons over the side. It was silly but sometimes it helped.

"How bad?" he asked moving closer to her, watching the latex material splatter on the walkway below.

"Well, I doubt I'm going back for anything reason other than to clear out my locker," she answered, picking up another.

"What will you do now?" Davis seized the balloon from her and moved the bucket off to the side.

"Dad's already talked with Principal Jameson, I start at Tree Hill on Monday," she gave him a small grin.

"That's great," he remarked pulling her into a hug.

"I guess," she mumbled. As they broke apart he watched as her eyes stayed trained on the wall near the door.

"Okay what's going on? I thought you were sick of that place?"

"I was, I am. It's just… my mom really wanted me to go there. A part of me feels like I'm letting her down." Her voice felt fragile to his ears, but nothing else struck him as being off.

"I think Haley will be just as proud of you at Tree Hill as she was when you were at Oppenheimer," he comforted pulling her into a side hug.

"Thank you. But I really don't want to think about it anymore. How was your day?" she segued with a smile.

"It was long," he replied.

"Did you run into Ashley?" she questioned like it was no big deal. But he noticed the shift in her voice.

He wished she hadn't brought up Ashley. It was easier to lie when you weren't directly asked about things. He hated himself for what he did, or was doing. Lydia meant so much to him. As they sat there leaning against the buildings edge, everything felt so right. She felt right nestled into his side. But when thoughts of Ashley slinked into the picture everything got distorted. He couldn't hold them both in his head simultaneously, and that made him scared that one of them was bound to overshadow the other. But what scared him more was know he didn't know which he'd miss more. It should be Lydia, she was his girlfriend, but something told him no matter how far and how long he and Ashley were separated, she'd always have some hold over him.

"Earth to Davis," He heard her call as he focused back on her.

"Sorry," he replied apologetic. "No I didn't run into her today."

"Oh, good."

He could see her trying to hide a smile. Just then the door busted open and Sawyer rushed over to them.

"Seriously, I come, I see little balloon pieces scattered over the side walk. Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm going to leave you two alone," Davis noted, kissing Lydia's cheek.

"I'll call you later," Lydia responded.

"Sure you she'll call later, but me her BFF, just has to go through life, no calls, no texts, not even a nice smoke signal." Sawyer collapsed next to Lydia dramatically. Davis rolled his eyes as he made his way to the door and down the stair. He had some thinking to do. And he wasn't sure he was going to like the outcome.

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Back upstairs Sawyer began probing Lydia with questions.

"So was it terrible? Do we need to get ice cream? Pie? Cookie dough?" Sawyer rattled off.

"I already had some pie, but thanks."

Lydia seemed fine to Sawyer, almost like the idea of changing schools wasn't that big a deal. But Lydia was always like that, holding back whatever was really bugging her so no one else had to deal with the fall out. Everyone in their family was like that. Like it was embedded in their DNA to play things close to the vest.

"Fine, if you don't want dessert, can we do our predictions tonight?" Sawyer asked, shooting her gaze over to the wall.

Lucas and Haley had started it back when they were younger then Haley passed it to Jamie who in turn passed it to the both of them. Sawyer loved doing it. It made her feel close to her father in a way nothing else did, as if they were linked through time by that simple box.

"Of course," Lydia replied standing up. "Let me grab it."

Sawyer walked to the skylight sitting down. When Lydia made her way back with the box, Sawyer snatched from her cousin, peeling the lid off.

"Here you go." Sawyer handed her a folded up page taking out on of her own. "Okay first on my list. I will write my own song for the band, well I wrote half of Stella does that count?"

"I'll give you partial credit for that," Lydia joked as she unfolded her own. "Number one, I will finally read the Odyssey and the Iliad. Done, and done."

"Because you are a nerd." Sawyer muttered and Lydia replied with sticking her tongue out.

Sawyer just rolled her eyes. "Baby."

They chuckled at each other continuing through their predictions, until the last one.

"Okay, last but not least," Sawyer began. "I will finally tell Logan how I feel."

"Too bad on that one. You two would make the cutest couple."

"Um," Sawyer bit the side of her lip. "I kind of did tell him."

"WHAT?!" Lydia shrieked. "When?"

"The other day, then we went on a date, and now we're kind of together," Sawyer replied in a rush.

"And you're just telling me this now?"

"Well I was going to tell you after our date but that was Monday so you can see why I couldn't," Sawyer explained, shoving her predictions back in the tin. "Also I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know."

"Why, you like Logan," Lydia stated.

"I know it was stupid thinking. I just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while. Then Jamie caught us today at school, and I'm pretty sure I should tell my mom now, before he goes and says something to her."

Lydia placed a hand over her mouth as short snickers escaped through the side.

"This is not funny," Sawyer maintained, shooting her a glare.

"No you're right. Jamie catching you guys is not funny, it's hilarious," Lydia replied, breaking out into a fit of laughter.

"Hating you right now." Sawyer folded her arms over her chest turning her face away. But she couldn't stay mad at Lydia, so finally she broke into laughter as well, as they both collapsed onto the roof in smiles.


	8. The Best Thing

**A/N: **Hey guys I know it's been a lot longer than I promised, but after writing feverishly for 30 days I decided to take a breather. My nano is still not completed but i have faith I will finish it. This is kinda a long one. Not as long as the last one but still over 6k. Hope you all enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I still own nothing. Seriously it's sad how little I own.

The Best Thing

"Rise and shine," Brooke's voice rang in Jude's ear. He gave his mother a confused look and glanced at the alarm clock.

"Mom, it's nine thirty in the morning," he moaned placing a pillow over his head.

"Well I know that, I came in here," she countered pulling the pillow from him. "Now come on we have a big day ahead of us."

"Big day?" he questioned sitting up. He didn't get what could possibly be important about a Saturday.

"Yes, Nathan has arranged a huge barbecue this afternoon for practically everyone in town," She replied sitting on the edge of his bed. "And I promised we all would help out."

He glared at her dropping back to the mattress. "Then make Davis go. It's his girlfriend's house."

"Your brother is going," she pulled at his arm bringing him back to a sitting position. "But he's running a delivery for the studio this morning. And your dad and Gray are already there. So come on we have to go pick up the food."

She walked out the room and Jude was thankful to be alone. He had a terrible dream last night. It started normally enough. He and Lydia were sitting together in his room hanging out. She was reading a Jane Austen book, while he was working on a story board for a short film. They were in a comfortable rhythm, he'd look over just to stare at her and as soon as he dropped his gaze she'd do the same thing. It was really nice, until Davis walked in. He told her Jude was lying, that he was keeping things from her. Somehow he knew about the rubber bands and the constant use of them. Lydia turned to him with a look on her face that broke his heart. He tried to get Davis to back off but then Logan, Sawyer, and Casey all came in too. They looked so hurt like he didn't care enough to trust them. By the end he was standing alone in his room, but he didn't know where the others had gone. He felt so empty. Thank god Brooke woke him when she did. He really didn't want to see how that dream would end.

He got up and made his way to the mirror. Things were different now, he understood. The pain he was letting affect him, it wasn't just hurting him, it was hurting everyone he cared about. He had to get better, really get better. He took the bands from his wrist and the ones from his dresser and dropped them into the waste basket by the door. As each hit the bottom he felt the weight of what this meant. There was no going back now. He was going to get help for his problems. It was the only way he could help everyone else.

"Jude," Brooke called from the hall. "We have to get going."

"Be out in a sec Mom," He replied, grabbing his camera bag. Today was a day for new beginnings, why not start work on his documentary so people could say goodbye to old memories?

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Sawyer was sitting on the couch absently flipping through a magazine. She checked her watch for the fifth time, and groaned.

"Mom," she called up the stairs. "Seriously we told Uncle Nate we'd be there like a half hour ago."

"Well your uncle has known me a really long time," Peyton replied coming down. "If he doesn't get that I arrive fashionably late by now, there is no hope for him."

"It's not called fashionably late when you agree to help set up. It's just called late," she countered looking up with a sarcastic smile.

"Someone is extra catty this morning," Peyton noted as she checked her lipstick in the hall mirror. "What has you so moody?"

"Nothing, I just want to get going." She shifted in her seat avoiding her mom's gaze. She wanted to talk to Peyton about Logan, but the longer her mom took the more nerve she was losing.

"Well?" Peyton implored, but Sawyer just shrugged. "About the outfit."

"Oh, you look-" but Sawyer was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Peyton opened it up. Even though she couldn't see the porch from where the couch was Sawyer could see her mother's face, which meant she already knew who was at the door.

"Hello, ladies," Jake greeted as Peyton let him in. "I know I said I'd meet you at Nathan's but remember how Jenny's car broke down the other day. Well she promised to take my mother to her doctor's appointment today, and I had to relinquish my car. Can I get a ride?"

"Sure," Peyton answered with a laugh. "But where's AJ?"

"Oh she's already there. Apparently Nathan's son and her are best friends now," he responded. "Morning Sawyer."

"Hi," was all Sawyer managed to rely with, before both her mother and Jake lost interest in her again.

They began complementing each other in such a way Sawyer thought her eyes would roll out of her head if they kept it up. Lucky for her Peyton finally noticed the time.

"Crap," Peyton exclaimed. "We really need to get go. You ready Sawyer?"

She bit her tongue. It was the only thing she could do from screaming at her mother. She understood the liking a guy thing, and the being mushy and annoying part, but making your own daughter wait on you for an hour, and then conveniently forget that she had been was way past the annoy marker and into all knew territory. But her father had taught her better than to make a scene, especially in front of other people. So instead she nodded her head and brushed past them to the car. Every thought of tell her mom about Logan now far from her head.

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"A little to the left," Lydia stated with a small smile. "No guys not that much left."

She had to admit 'supervising' the set up what a genius idea. Not only did she barely have to do anything, but she got to boss everyone around until things were exactly how she wanted them. Plus Davis was helping move everything thing around, shirtless no less. Life was pretty perfect at the moment.

"Lydia as my sister I love you," Jamie began, shooting her a glare. "But if you tell me to move this 'a little to the left' again, I will have to reconsider getting you a birthday gift this year."

"Fine," she relented. "The table will be great there. You are such a spoil sport."

"And you're OCD," he retorted, as a crash came from the house. His face fell. "I thought Dani was watching the kids?"

"I saw her walk out to the pier about twenty minutes ago," Davis interjected as he sat to take a drink from his water.

Jamie sighed massively, and stomped off towards the house. Lydia let out a small laugh shaking her head at Davis. "Dani didn't come out here."

"I know," he replied pulling her to sit on his lap with a sly grin. "I just wanted to be alone with you."

"Really?" She leaned in their lips almost touching.

"Lydia!" Nathan called and she jumped off of Davis. He was leaning against a column and he didn't look happy to have walked in on his daughter and Davis.

"Hi Mr. Scott," Davis said with a wave. "I'm gonna go help my dad set up the stuff on the lawn."

When he walked off Lydia turned and frowned at her father.

"Don't give me that look young lady," Nathan responded moving towards the grill. "If I remember correctly you were in trouble just earlier this week. I could have uninvited Davis."

"Yes, because it wouldn't have been weird for the entire Baker family to be here without him," She came to stand next to him. "Are you really going to give Davis a hard time the _entire_ day?"

She pouted hoping maybe her cuteness would make him soften a little, which of course he did. She could see it in his face.

"I promise to _try_ and be nice," he relented and she kissed his cheek.

"Thank you Daddy," she pulled back with a smile. Today was going to be a good day, she just felt it.

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It was good they were doing this. One last time for the whole group to hang out before summer was really over. And looking out on the party in full swing, Logan was a little saddened by it. It felt like the end of something. Like it was the last great get together before senior year kicked in and everything changed.

"So you and Sawyer?" Davis walked up sitting next to him. "Bout time."

Logan froze as he took a sip from his root beer. He looked around making sure no one was listening. "How did you?"

"Please, you two have been inseparable all week," he replied taking a long drink from his water bottle. "Plus, Sawyer told Lydia, who told me. Nice job letting Jamie walk in on you."

He shoved Davis slightly causing his friend to laugh. "It wasn't funny, it was mortifying."

"I'm sure for Jamie too."

Logan lowered his head, focusing too much on the tab of his pop can. He wanted to tell people about them, but Sawyer wanted to wait. She wanted her mom to know first. But now she was telling Lydia, who's telling Davis.

"When you and Lyds started dating did she keep it from anyone? Her dad maybe?" Logan asked trying to keep his voice even. But Brooke walked up and Davis didn't answer.

"Which one of you wonderful boys wants to do me a favor?" she smiled at them both.

"Can't mom," Davis replied. As he darted away Brooke turned to Logan. This was the problem. Logan had a really had time saying no to anyone. Adults, his friends, anyone. He just liked being the person they could count on.

"What do you need Mrs. B?"

"Ice, Nathan did not plan ahead. Sure you don't mind?"

"Nah it's cool." He got up to leave, and debated telling Sawyer where he was going. But she didn't want people to know they were together. So leaving without saying anything wouldn't be weird, and maybe, just maybe she'd notice.

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_Where is he going?_ Sawyer thought as she watched Logan make his way out the back gate. She had to follow him. Maybe they could finally have a minute alone, which hadn't happened since their date last night. Moving herself in the direction of the gate, she had almost made it when someone called her name.

"Sawyer?"

_Jake, of course_. She thought to herself and turned to face him, a strained smile on her face. "Hi."

"I'm sorry am I interrupting you?" He inquired, pointing towards the front yard. "Because if you need to-"

"Its fine," she cut him off, a little more harshly then she intended. "What do you need?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

"Not to be rude," she stated crossing her arms. "But why? It's not like we have anything to talk about."

"See I beg to differ. Ever since your mom and I started seeing each other, you've seemed a little," he paused like he was considering what to say carefully. "Bothered by it."

She casted her gaze off to the side. She didn't want to have this conversation. If her mom hadn't noticed her behavior then why was he pointing it out?

"Peyton didn't want to say anything. She figured you would just come around on your own, that her dating was weirding you out," he explained as he moved back into her line of sight. "But I think it's a bit more complicated than that."

"You do huh?" She countered with a sarcastic smirk. "And what do you _think_ is my issue?"

"I know you miss Lucas," he replied. "I know you probably think about him every day."

She turned her back to him, begging the tears not to fall. What right did he have to bring up her father? He didn't know, didn't understand. She bit her lip trying to calm herself.

"What's your point?" she opposed but her voice was barely above a whisper. But his response surprised her.

"She misses him too. She constantly talks about him, and how the three of you were together," he paused talking a seat on a nearby lawn chair. "There is no one your mother could ever love more in this world than your father."

She turned slightly to see Jake staring at the ground, a sad smile on his face. He looked so broken, sitting there, like the smallest word could make him crumble.

"Can I ask you why then?" she questioned gaining a bit more strength in her voice. "I mean why date someone who will always be in love with someone else?"

"Because, there will never be a day when I'm not in love with her. I hate that Lucas is gone, and I would do anything to bring him back for her and you. But I can't spend the rest of my life without her," He stood up running a hand down his face. "I've tried."

Sawyer stood there looking at the man that just a few minutes ago annoyed her to no end. Now she wasn't sure how she felt.

"I'm sorry I kept you," he apologized. "Thank you for listening."

As he turned to leave Sawyer felt something build up in her. "Jake?"

He spun around and looked at her. "Yea?"

"You're a good guy," she replied moving to pass him. "My mom's lucky to have you."

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This was exactly the setting Jude needed to kick off his documentary footage. What better way to commemorate the end of Ravens than having all the people who inspired the characters at the same party. He already got his mom, Nathan, and Peyton to give him interviews. Now he figured if he could just get Jamie's interview he could put the camera away for the rest of the party. He made his way across the grass but then noticed Jamie wasn't alone.

"Seriously Luca if you try to push Keith off that one more time, you forfeit all dessert rights for a week," Jamie called over to the children, and turned back to the young woman with him.

Jude started to remember her but a name wasn't coming. He she was related to the guy dating Sawyer's mom, Jake? It was making him realize he really needed to hang out with his friends more.

"Hey Jamie," he called walking closer. "Am I interrupting?"

Jamie looked over with a smile plastered on his face. Jude couldn't remember seeing him that happy in a long time. "Jude, what's up? If this is about your paper-"

"No," Jude stopped him before he could pull out his teacher card. "I was actually wondering if I could interview you for this documentary thing. It's for the series wrap of Ravens."

"Oh yea that would be-" but then Jamie was cut off by Jessie's cries from the blanket next to him. He picked up the baby bouncing her up and down. "I really should get her a bottle. Can we do it later?"

"Yea not a big rush," Jude replied as Jamie walked off with the baby.

He considered walking back up to the party but she spoke to him before he could. "I'm Jenny by the way."

_Now it made sense. _Jude thought to himself. She was new guidance counselor. _Ms. Jagielski._

"Jude," he responded taking a seat.

"Like the song? 'Hey Jude'?" she asked with a smile.

"Yea actually, my mom named me that because my grandfather's name is Paul and my dad's is Julian so she thought it was cute," He chuckled scratching his head. "It's kinda lame though."

"Better than the song my name came from," she mused. "Ever heard the song 8675309?"

"I believe so."

"Well my mother couldn't get it out of her head the night I was born. My dad tried everything from, Frank Sinatra to the Beastie Boys trying to get her to sing something else. So when I came along, fourteen hours later, she looked at him and said 'her name is Jenny, deal with it', and it stuck."

"Now that's not so bad," he stated. "At least you have something to mock her with for eternity."

"I would if we were on speaking terms."

"Sorry." Jude dropped his head. "I shouldn't have-"

"Hey its okay you didn't know." She nudged his shoulder causing him to look up. Something about the way she held herself made it easy to talk to her.

"You go to Tree Hill right?" she asked changing the subject.

"Yea, I'm, a junior," he responded.

"Well, if you ever need to talk," she paused looking down at his wrists. "Come see me at my office."

A lot of things went through Jude's mind at that moment, as he followed her gaze down noticing the faintest outline of a welt in its final stages of healing. Why didn't she go bust him to his parents? Why did she seem to know exactly what to look for? Was he really that transparent?

"I haven't… I mean I stopped… I'm not doing that anymore," he whispered trying to keep himself from cracking.

"Doesn't mean you don't need to talk," She replied with a shrug. "I won't judge, in fact I might be able to help."

"No one can know. I mean if my mom knew," but he didn't know who to finish that thought.

"I promise I won't tell anyone," She soothed, looking back to the children. "If you promise to come see me Monday."

Jude stared at the grass contemplating the ultimatum. It wasn't a bad trade, and he did want the help. So with a small smile he looked to her and sighed. "Deal."

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"Hurry up," Lydia whined as she pulled Davis along the patio. He wasn't sure what she was dragging him to do but he was going to take his sweet time to get there.

"Look Daddy, I brought you a grilling partner," She stated looking between her father and him. He knew this was a bad idea the second she started pulling at his arm. But Lydia had a way of making everything seem like a good idea when she asks.

"I see that," Nathan replied, but Davis could hear the strain in his voice. "Hi, Davis."

"Hey Mr. Scott," He awkwardly greeted shoving his hands in his pockets.

Lydia smiled brightly. "Well I need to go find Sawyer. So have fun," then she leaned into Nathan and whispered just loud enough for Davis to catch. "Don't kill him."

Nathan rolled his eyes and Davis watched as Lydia hopped off to find Sawyer. _This was going to be fun. _He didn't remember any occasions when it was just the two of them. In fact the last time he and Nathan were left alone in a room together he was probably around three or four. What in the world would he talk to his girlfriend's father about?

"Basketball season will be starting soon," Nathan put out there, and Davis breathed a sigh of relief. That was a safe subject.

"Yea, I'm looking forward to working with Jamie," Davis responded with a nod. "Hopefully it'll be a great season."

"Well a team is only as good as their coach, and vice versa."

"True," Davis commented as another silence pulsed through the space. It felt like the more quiet they became the more nervous Davis grew.

"Are you hoping for captain this year?" Nathan asked, looking back at him.

"Yea, hopefully I make it," he looked at the ground. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with Nathan. He didn't want to think about captain, because that would lead to thinking about Tyler and Ashley. He was sure if he stood there any longer the guilt would come pouring out of him.

"I have to go make a call," he announced abruptly, pointing off to the house. "You mind?"

"No go ahead." But as Davis walked off he heard Nathan mutter something about him being just as weird as his father.

He made sure no one saw as he shut himself in the downstairs bathroom. He pulled his phone out but didn't dial. He knew this was bad. He couldn't call her, not here, not now. It had to stop. Thinking about Ashley wasn't doing him any good and he knew that. His girlfriend was outside with their friends and family, and he was in here. The want to be out there, should have kept him from coming inside. The want to be with her, should have kept him from thinking about another girl. But it wasn't, it didn't, not since Ashley walked back into his life.

He thought back to when she first left. No call, no note, she was just gone one day, taking a large piece of Davis with her. He didn't even know where she went until he gathered the courage to go see her father. Nathan was an ease to deal with compared to Randall Donavan. He was always angry at one thing or another, and would howl at Mrs. Donavan all day long. It didn't take a genius to see Ashley and her mom feared the man. That's why that summer Ashley had spent many nights sneaking into Davis room, curling herself into his side. It was the only time he'd ever really _saw_ her, when she thought he wasn't watching. They spent that whole summer either out doing things he'd later get grounded for, or holed up in his room doing things he was sure his parents didn't know about.

A week before school started Ashley and her mom left. _Colorado_, Mr. Donavan had said. _And they ain't comin' back. _Davis had no doubt that the overwhelming smell of whiskey and the broken glass that scattered the entry way had contributed to the sudden move. He should have been happy that Ashley was safe and far away from her father, and a part of him was. He was so glad she wouldn't be hurt, but selfishly he was also so angry she was gone, and he knew it was because he loved her. He never told her. She probably would have laughed in his face if he ever tried, but it didn't change it. Back then he would have done anything just to make her happy. Spent a lot of time in the back of Tree Hill squad cards proving it too.

_But you're with Lydia._ He reminded himself, looking in the mirror. Lydia, who was sweet, and kind, and loved him for the guy he wanted to be. She didn't dwell on what everyone labeled him, she didn't care that he had a past. And until now his past was right where it should be, now it was creeping into his present, and he didn't know how long he could keep them from merging.

Before he knew what he was doing he hit his speed dial placing to phone to his ear. He waited letting the rings calm him.

"Hello?" a voice greeted but it wasn't Ashley, it was Tyler. He was answering her phone, like they were… together. "Anyone there?"

Davis couldn't have said anything even if he wanted too. He was way too shocked to speak.

"Look, I don't know who this is but I suggest you get a hobby," Tyler's tone made Davis even angrier. "Perverted phone calls are lame and pathetic." He could hear a voice in the background. It was Ashley's, even if he couldn't make out any words. "Just some loser, trying to be funny." Tyler answered her hanging up.

Logically he knew this made sense. Ashley was trying to get close to Tyler, to find something on him to help Davis, but something was pulling at his insides. He had never wanted to march up to anyone and punch them out more than he wanted to right then. He hated Tyler more in that moment then he thought was possible. Ashley was with this guy right now and it was making him crazy. He heard people say that jealousy was an ugly thing, but until that moment he didn't truly understand. And the realization that he was jealous of the Tyler only made him feel worse.

A soft knock came on the bathroom and Davis jolted to the door, pulling it open. Dani stood in front of him.

"May I get in there?" she asked gesturing to the room.

"Yea, sorry," he exited, making his way to the back door. Spotting Lydia was easy. Her vibrant pink steaks caught the sun as she threw her head back in laughter. She made him smile when she did that, and he knew that she deserved better than him. She needed someone who wouldn't spend time thinking about another girl, someone who would put her first above everything else. She deserved a guy that would actually tell her the truth even if he was ashamed of it. He wished he could give her that, he wished it was that easy. Ashley held a part of him, while Lydia held the other. Something in his head told him that come pretty soon the two parts of him, his past and present, might just pull him apart.

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Nerve was something Sawyer didn't think she ever had to worry about. Being who she was, it just kind of leaked out. But as she made her way towards her mother prepared to tell her all about Logan, she really wished she could just summon it. She knew Peyton wouldn't be mad, her mother loved Logan. She thought he was the greatest kid in the world, very far behind Sawyer yes, but still. Sawyer just wasn't sure she was ready for the disappointed look her mother was bound to get when she told her, because her mom would be disappointed to find out about it after the fact.

Peyton and Jake stood talking with Brooke and Julian, as Sawyer eased in closer, listening.

"I never soberly hit on Jake," Brooke whined swatting Peyton with her left hand.

"So you're saying you hit on him when you were drunk?" Julian countered with a smirk.

"Well she hit on everyone when she was drunk," Peyton added with a laugh.

Sawyer watched Brooke make a face, and couldn't help but giggle. The adults turned towards the sound.

"See what you did?" Brooke replied pulling Sawyer to her. "Now she's going to think bad things about her namesake."

"She's known you her whole life Brooke, I'm sure nothing we say can shock her," Julian quipped.

"Sorry to interrupt," Sawyer changed the subject and looked towards her mom. "Can we talk for a minute?"

She nodded setting her drink down. Sawyer grabbed her mom's hand pulling her away from the crowd. As soon as they were a good distance from the other's Sawyer spoke.

"So I have something to tell you," she began taking a deep breath. "It's not a bad thing, in fact it's really good. It's great even. And I know you're going to love it, but I still feel weird because I didn't tell you when it happened. Not that it happened like a long time ago-"

"You planning on breathing there," Peyton joked.

"Sorry. I'm nervous I guess, which is ridiculous," Sawyer replied then sighed. "Logan and I started dating. And I didn't tell you, but now I am so…"

She would have continued. The momentum she built up could have kept her going for another four minutes, three and a half if she ran out of air. But instead Logan came stalking up a look of determination on his face.

"Peyton, I'm sorry but I need to tell you something," He stated crossing his arms.

"Logan," Sawyer tried to get his attention.

"Sawyer I'm sorry, but no. She deserves to know," he cut her off and turned back to Peyton. "I like your daughter and we have started seeing each other-"

"Please stop." She hissed in his ear, trying to get him to look at her.

"In a minute," he replied. "I don't know why Sawyer wanted to keep you from it and frankly I don't really care. I just thought I should tell you."

She looked at her mom's amused look, and wished her boyfriend came with an off switch but when Logan got on a roll it was hard to get him to stop. So she did the only thing she could think of, she pinched him as hard as she could.

"Ow, Ow, Ow," He turned finally meeting her eyes. "Why are you pinching me?"

"I already told her," Sawyer replied with a glare.

"Really?" he questioned, and turned towards Peyton. "Really?" To which her mom just nodded. "Well I feel a little, dumb right now. I'm gonna go, over there… bye."

As he walked off, embarrassment covering his face, Sawyer spun back to face her mom. She didn't look upset, but Sawyer better than anyone knew her mom was good at hiding things.

"Are you mad?" She asked biting her lip.

"Why would I be mad?" Peyton questioned guiding her over to a set of chairs. "Disturbed at the both of you and your ability to ramble, yes. But Sweetie I'm not mad."

"I wanted to tell you I did, I just," she trailed off, not sure how to finish.

But Peyton gave her a knowing smile. "You wanted to keep it to yourself for a bit. Trust me I understand."

"We tell each other everything," Sawyer whispered looking down at her hands. "I don't know why I couldn't tell you this."

"You must really like him. That's how you can tell. The one's you want to keep all to yourself are usually the one's that make you feel silly thinking about all the time." She leaned in pulling Sawyer into a hug. "Just promise me you'll tell me things from now on. I'm afraid next time you might ramble until you pass out."

She smiled up at her mother taking a deep breath. "Count on it."

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Jamie was exhausted. After running around chasing the kids and finally getting Jessie down, he was ready to collapse in a pool chair.

"Hey, big brother," Lydia caught his arm. "Have you seen Davis?"

"Not lately," he replied yawning. "Though I'm so tired I could have missed him."

"Maybe you should go lie down," she fussed. "I don't want you falling asleep and then dropping into the pool."

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine," he responded with a smile. "Besides, we are having a massive Scott party, I can't abandon it."

Lydia looked off her attention focused behind them. He turned to follow her gaze seeing their father talking with Clay, Jake, and Julian.

"Is he okay?" Lydia questioned gently. "I mean he probably tells you more than the rest of us."

"Honestly Lyds, I really don't know," he answered taking a seat on a lounger and pulling her down to join. "He doesn't really talk to me about it."

"Aren't you worried? It can't be healthy." she still had her eyes trained on their father. "Keeping all that in."

"We can't make him talk about. But we can be here for him, which is what he needs most." He understood where Lydia was coming from. Their father was such a 'do it yourself' kind of person when it came to dealing with emotions. The only person he ever let in on his feeling was the one person who wasn't there, and Jamie wished there was something he could do.

"I guess you're right," she conceded with a heavy sigh. "I'm going to go track down Davis. Will you be alright by yourself?"

"I think I'll manage," he joked with a smile. "Have fun." He watched as Lydia walked off passing Jenny on the way.

"Hey you," she smiled plopping down beside him. "I thought you were lost."

"Nah, Jessie won't sleep unless someone sings to her," he explained with a grin. "I had to exhaust my entire catalog of ballads before she went down."

"That sounds like it would have been entertaining," She responded, turning to face him fully. "Next time you have to let me hear."

"We could make it a date," he urged with a grin, earning an eye roll from Jenny.

"You never give up do you?"

"Not when I really want something, no." He moved in closer keeping his face a few inched away from hers. "Come on tell me you don't want to?"

"That's not the point," she countered.

"What is then? I mean you like me right? AJ likes me, and I have yet to actually talk with your father, but I'm sure he'll like me too. Why not just try?" He picked up her hand tracing circle with his thumb. If they hadn't been so on display he'd have kissed her.

"Jamie, I do like you," she stated pulling her hand back. "But I can't date you."

"Why not? What's stopping you?" He opposed holding her gaze. "One date, that's all I ask for."

She sighed rolling her eyes. He would have thought that was the end until she smiled. "One date, that's it."

"Seriously, you're agreeing?" He leaned back smirking. "That was easier than I thought it'd be."

"I figured letting you get it out of your system would be the only way to get you off this track," she clarified. "I mean once you see how boring a date with me would be, you'll stop bugging me."

"If you say so." Jamie smiled again. He didn't know what problems she had in the past. In fact he didn't know much about her at all, but in that moment he saw something shimmer in her eyes. And he tried hard not to keep staring at her. It was astonishing how easy a rhythm they could fall into. Bantering back and forth or even the easy silence that passed through them now. In his life Jamie had maybe two serious girlfriends. There was Sandra, who he had dated nearly all of junior year at Duke, and before that had been Madison. He and Maddie date nearly six years. Considering they officially started going out at her twelfth birthday party. But then a week before graduation she dumped him for Andre. The two of them were headed to UCLA together in the fall and had just 'clicked' over the news. He didn't ever really recover, that's why Sandra and he didn't last. But now being here with Jenny, he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. And he was going to do everything he could to hold one to it.

Something caught her eyes over his shoulder, and that's when he realized there was a hushed silence over the entire party. He turned to see what everyone was staring at.

A lump formed in this throat, only it felt bigger, stronger. He couldn't get rid of the mass. All he could do was dart his gaze between all the members of his family, each holding a similar expression. He was glad Keith was upstairs in the movie room, clonked out next to Jessie, because the boy really wouldn't be sure what to do.

"Jamie?" he heard Jenny's voice, but it sounded faint with the blood that was rushing past his ears. "Who is that?"

He turned to her as worry crossed her face. He could only imagine what she saw in his eyes. Taking a deep breath he whispered. "It's my mom."


	9. Safe and Sound

**A/N: I own nothing. I also have decided Wednesdays will be my new posting day. Also updates might become sporadic. So enjoy and review.**

Safe & Sound

If nothing else Lydia had to appreciate her mom's timing. Coming home now meant she beat the tour by six days. And telling everyone she came back to make sure everything was set up for the last concert at Tric on Friday worked out well. Only Jude knew where her mom had really been, and he agreed not to tell anyone. So she wasn't worried people would find out. But the Scott house was not a very easy place to be the rest of the weekend. The place was littered with metaphorically egg shells. Everyone was too anxious to do anything but go about their lives the rest of the weekend. In fact Lydia had barely said more than 'Pass the salad' to anyone.

As she rose Monday morning her house was already in it's usually school day chaos. The boys were running back and forth, Jessie was gurgling happily in her high chair, but Dani was nowhere to be seen.

"Yes, I realize the meeting is scheduled for eleven," her father replied into his phone as she sat down in front of him. He handed her a glass of orange juice and a plate of French toast. "I'm not saying we need to push it back. I'm saying Mr. Evans will be five minutes late, fifteen if I call him and tell him you are having a fit over the small, practically nonexistent shift to the meeting." Lydia grinned up at him. It always made her smile when Nathan had to deal with insane clients. "Thank you Mr. Collins, goodbye." He dropped his phone on the counter groaning loudly.

"Good morning," she greeted with a large smirk.

"Funny," he retorted. "Wait until you're an adult and have to deal with insanity, while cooking breakfast."

"Morning family," Haley called as she entered the kitchen. Lydia tensed glancing at her father. They hadn't talked about her being back yet, or how Lydia got the feeling her visit had sparked the home coming.

"Hey Hales," Nathan said as he placed a kiss on her cheek. "What are your plans for the day?"

"I was thinking of going to the café check up on things. Then maybe stop in to see Quinn." She grabbed a mug filling it with coffee.

Lydia rolled her eyes but focused back to her plate. Apparently they were just going to pretend the whole summer never happened. Everything was just supposed to fall right back into its perfect place.

"Why aren't you in your uniform yet?" Haley questioned, causing Lydia to shoot a glance at her father. Given the fact that Nathan kept looking between the two of them then back to his coffee, told Lydia all she needed to know. He forgot to mention that she was no longer a private school girl to her mother.

"Well, Haley there is a great explanation for that," He began looking at his wife. "See there was an issue, at the school. And I felt that Lydia would do better if we sent her to public school."

"Excuse me?" Haley gave a confused look. "What kind of issue would have you pull our daughter from her very prestigious, very _expensive_, private school? Nathan she was doing so well." But they were interrupted right then as Dani came into the kitchen moaning under her breath.

One look at her sister and she could tell the preteen was faking sick. She'd seen Jamie do it a few times when they were younger. Dani had one hand pressed to her forehead as the other arm draped around her middle.

"Mommy, daddy," she groaned as she climbed up the stool. "I don't feel well."

"You look fine to me," Lydia replied with a smirk, trying to get a rise out of her.

"Well looks are often deceiving," Dani countered, placing her head on the counter. "I think I'm sick."

"You were fine yesterday," Nathan remarked, placing his hand to her forehead. "And you don't feel warm. You sure this isn't some ploy to get out of a school related activity?"

"Daddy would I be that deceptive?" she answered giving him a pout. _Oh, she's good._ Lydia thought as she drained her orange juice.

"Well you can stay home with me sweetie if you really feel that bad," Haley interjected as she rounded the counter kissing Dani's cheek. Lydia watched as her sister smiled up to their mother.

"Oh come on she's so faking it." Lydia looked at her dad crossing her arms. "She's only pretending so she can stay home with Mom."

"I am not," Dani argued in a huff.

"Really, because you seem fine now?" Lydia shot back.

"Enough," Nathan yelled getting their attention. "Dani, if you really feel sick go back to your room and get into bed. No TV and no video games. If you get bored read a book. And no asking your mom for junk food. Sick people get soup and ginger ale."

Lydia watched as a struggle played across her little sisters face, but Dani must have found the terms suitable because she climbed down and made her way up the stairs.

"I can't believe you let her do that," Lydia muttered, pushing her breakfast away. "She's perfectly fine."

"Lydia, I do not need your help parenting," Nathan growled. "If your sister needs a day to be home with your mom that is none of your business."

"Guys, come on there is no need to fight about this," Haley cut in, trying to calm her family. "So why don't we all take a step back and relax."

Lydia bit her lip to keep from saying anything snarky. She didn't want her mom to play peace keeper between them.

"Does anyone want to explain this whole school thing to me now?" Haley added.

"Lydia got in trouble for skipping school. They were going to take her out of all her clubs and remove her from the running for valedictorian," Nathan explained.

"There wasn't anything else you could do?" Haley questioned, looking at Lydia. "I mean she worked so hard to get where she was."

"Maybe I didn't want to be there anymore," Lydia interjected an annoyed look on her face. "Maybe I wanted to do something I wanted to do for a change."

"You mean like dyeing your hair pink?" Haley replied with sarcasm.

"Yes actually. You know Dani and the other's maybe falling all over the fact that you're back and everything-"

"Lydia," he father's tone was a warning but she didn't stop.

"But I'm not. I really couldn't careless," Lydia stood, grapping her bag. "I'm going to school."

Lydia stalked out of the house, tears threatening to fall. But she kept it together as she spotted Davis' car come up the street.

"Hey," Jude called opening the passenger side door and climbing out. "Davis was going to come in and get you."

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a smile. "You usually hate spending time with Davis."

"And that has not changed," Jude joked. "But my mom needed my car for textile samples. Apparently I get punished for having an SUV."

"Guys," Davis called from the car. "We gotta get going."

"Here," Jude moved motioning to the front. "I'll sit in back."

"Thanks," she replied with a smile and slipped into the car ready to start the day and forget about her morning.

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Lunch was a time when Jude would sit off in a corner trying to block out the hustle of high school. Sometimes he'd sit with Casey, but usually he'd be by himself. Now he was sitting outside the counselor's office instead of in his normal spot. He didn't know why he agreed to this. Things were fine now, or at least they were better than they'd been. He didn't wake up thinking about the rubber bands like he did most mornings; in fact it took him a whole half hour before he realized they were gone. But the truth was when he noticed they weren't on his wrist he wanted to pull them from the trash. Not to snap but just to have, just in case.

"Maybe I do need to be here," he muttered to himself and jumped as the door beside him opened.

"Jude, I hope you haven't been waiting long," Jenny said motioning him in.

As they entered the office Jude sat down and pointed at the name plate sitting on the desk. "So do I call you Ms. Jagielski or what?"

"God, that sounds formal. Too much like my grandmother," she joked, as she took the seat across the desk. "How about Ms. J? I kinda like that."

"Okay," Jude replied, then silence. "Sorry, I don't know how this was supposed to work. Do I start or just wait for you to ask something?"

"There isn't a right or wrong here, we can talk about anything you want."

"And if I don't feel like talking?"

"Then I don't think you would have shown up," she countered, with a knowing smile. "You're not being forced here Jude. You can leave if you want. But trust me whatever you're going through, it won't go away just because you wish it does. It takes more than wanting it."

He dropped his gaze staring at a spot on the floor. "I'm sick of feeling like this."

"Like what?"

"Like my family doesn't need me. Like I'm just an extra to everyone in my life."

"Is that why the snapping started?" she inquired and he looked to her, questioning how she knew. "I did an internship at a psychiatric clinic. It came at the very right time for me."

"I wouldn't say that was the thing that sparked it, but it doesn't help anything."

"What did _spark_ it? If you don't mind me asking?"

"It's stupid." He picked at a strand on his jeans.

"I doubt that," she replied with a smile. "Is it a girl thing?"

Jude looked out the window catching sight of Lydia walking past. Jenny turned following his gaze.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"She's just a friend," Jude mumbled.

"No need to defend yourself to me."

"It's complicated, she's with my brother."

"And you hate it," she noted.

"I don't get what she sees in him. They don't have anything in common, and they spent all of third grade hating each other over a ping pong match," he joked bitterly.

"Well sometimes opposites attract."

Jude rubbed his temples. This wasn't working. "Maybe I should go," he commented, standing.

"Jude, wait," she called. "I know it's hard, opening up to someone, especially someone who you don't really know. But dancing around your problems isn't good for you, it isn't healthy."

Jude reclaimed his seat, but didn't speak. Not sure how to respond

"New tactic, what do you love to do?" He gave her a confused look, needing elaboration. "I mean what are you passionate about?"

"Drumming," he replied but then added. "And film."

"Is that what you were doing at the party, working on a movie?" she questioned giving him a small smile.

"Sort of, my dad asked me to make this mini documentary about the end of Ravens, for DVD extras or something," he explained half heartedly.

"Well that's great Jude. He must have a lot of faith in you to ask that."

"I guess so," he mumbled more to himself.

"I have an idea," Jenny began, pulling a folder from a stack. "In here is a series of worksheets, normally I'd have a student fill one out and we'd go over the questions together, to work through things. But I think this will work better."

As she handed him the folder Jude just stared at it. "What should I do with it?"

"Every night I want you to go over a worksheet and answer them as honestly as you can, but I don't want you to write them down," she responded. "What I want you to do is keep a video journal. No one has to see it, not even me."

"But why do it if no one's going to see?"

"Because if you can't talk to your family, and you can't get here to talk to me, why not talk to yourself. You'd be surprised how much it helps if you're honest with yourself."

The bell rang in the background causing him to jump a little. He gave Jenny a weak smile. "I should get to class."

"Okay," she stood walking with him to the door. "If you want to come back we can make this a weekly thing. Every Monday? Or more if you feel like you need too."

When he walked in the room that afternoon all he wanted was to forget that someone knew his secret. But as he opened the door to leave, it was sincerely the happiest he had felt in a long time, knowing someone was in his corner and rooting for him to overcome everything.

"I'll see you Monday Ms. J." As he left the room he couldn't help but feel like the weight he'd been carry around for so long felt a fraction lighter.

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Study hall had to be Logan's favorite hour of the day. As long as you didn't yell across the room, Mrs. Finchel didn't really care if you studied or not. This was helpful, because between the song he was trying to write and Sawyer sitting across from him, he was more than distracted from any actual work.

"So," Sawyer grabbed his attention with a whisper. "Any major plans for your birthday next week?"

"Not really," Logan replied with a grin. "Did you have something dirty in mind?"

Her foot smashed into his shin, and he had to bite back a painful cry. "Don't be such a guy," she hissed.

"Sorry default," he commented. "But seriously I haven't even thought about it."

Her face would have made he burst into laughter if they hadn't been in a library. She looked at him like he was crazy. "It's your eighteenth birthday."

"Really? I didn't realize," he joked. "It's not that big a deal Sawyer."

"But it is. Eighteen means you can vote, you can go to war, you could ever buy cigarettes if you wanted to."

"None of those things appeal to me," he countered. "Besides, it would just be one more party my parents would want to plan. I don't need a big get together."

"Well I'm throwing you a party, and as your girlfriend you can't say no." she smiled deviously. "So do you want it at Tric or your house? Or the beach, it should still be warm enough."

"How much convincing will it take you to get off this idea?" he inquired with a sigh.

"Thirty two hours which means I'll already have the planning done. So take on another week of guilt ridden conversation."

"Fine you can throw me an eighteenth birthday party, but I want it low key."

"Babe it'll be so low key, you'll think it was a minor key," Sawyer responded smiling. She pulled out a clean sheet of paper and started scribbling notes.

He didn't know how to tell her no. The party was not his idea of how to spend the day, but what he wanted to do would seem childish. When he was younger for his birthday his parents would pull him out of school at lunch and they'd all go somewhere really special. They'd meet his grandparents, Sam and Lil, there and just spend the whole time talking. After lunch they'd make their way to Oak Ridge cemetery, to visit Logan's mother. Quinn was Logan's mom, no one ever tried to dispute that, but they never ignored Sara either. She was a bright wonderful woman, who Logan regretted never getting to remember. She died when he was a baby, barely old enough for his first words. It had been a long time since they all did this. He rarely saw his grandparents anymore, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been out towards Oak Ridge. The idea of turning eighteen and not spending at least some of that with the woman who gave him life didn't sit well with Logan.

So with Sawyer distracted he pulled out his own sheet of paper. It was something he had started doing just after he learned to read and write. Every time his grandma or someone would tell him something about his mother he'd hold it in his head sometimes for hours. Then when he felt it start to fade he'd scribble it on a piece of paper and stuff it into his pillow case, ensuring that he'd never lose that information. He had hundreds of these notes by now. He kept them in an old wooden box under his bed. Most were descriptions people provided. Wheat blonde hair. Eyes soft sea foam green. Smile stronger than a single ray of sun shine. A laugh that carried the wind. Some were things he would make up. Like how he knew that on Saturday morning's she'd insist they'd eat chocolate chip pancakes and watch Tom and Jerry until noon. Or she'd be able to con his dad into impromptu ice cream stops on the way home from the store.

Today was a made up one but he knew it was true. Just five little words. _She'd want to meet Sawyer._ Glancing back at his girlfriend one more time, the word still bring a small smile to his face, he made a decision. He needed to start sharing his whole life with her, so that included Sara too. He'd take her there this weekend.

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He wasn't looking forward to Algebra today. In fact he hadn't been able to focus on any school work at all. Lydia being her should have made it better; it should have pushed Ashley so far from his mind. But of course that was wishful thinking. Having both of them in the same school made his feeling jumble and it really was driving him up a wall. He excused himself from lunch early, avoided Ashley in every hall, and was over compensating with Lydia. Though she appeared too distracted to notice.

Just this class then Current Events and he'd be home free, for the day at least. He made his way down the nearly deserted hall as an arm snaked out of the supplies closet latching onto his shirt and pulling him in.

"What the hell?" He glared at the culprit once he realized it was Ashley.

She smirked rolling her eyes. "Nice hello."

"I don't usually exchange pleasantries with people who yank me into closets," he retorted. "Besides your _boyfriend_ would probably frown on this."

"Okay first," she knocked him against the wall, leaving barely any space between them. "Tyler is not my boyfriend, I don't have boyfriends. And second, the only reason I'm hanging with him is for you."

"Sure because _you_ are such a great friend," he countered his voice laced with sarcasm. "Just tell me the truth. You're into him."

"Do you need your head examined?" She bit back looking disgusted. "I've seen backwoods hicks with better manners then that arrogant slim. We agreed me getting close to him was the only way to protect your precious Lydia and your friendship with MC. So what the hell is your deal?!"

"I don't know okay," he snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I just… don't like seeing you with that guy."

She guided her hand up his torso dancing her fingers in the fabric of his shirt. "You can't have it both ways Davis."

"I know," he whispered as he brushed her fallen hair behind her ear. "I just don't know what I want."

The kiss was brief but Davis felt so much in it. She pulled back taking a deep breath. "Maybe you were right. We're getting a little old for games. I can't be with someone whose daytime persona has another girl. It's not right. And it's not fair, to anyone."

"Why'd you pull me in here then?" Davis inquired a bit of resentment at the edge of his voice. It was easy for her to say this. She didn't know what he had a stake.

"Because I have a lead on something to get Tyler off your case," she mumbled thrusting an envelope. "I figured if I gave it to you now I could end things with the creep before the day was over."

As she walked to the door Davis reached his hand out encircling her wrist. "Thank you, Ash."

She shrugged and gave him a small grin. "What are friends for?" she pulled away exiting the confined space.

He wanted more than anything to go after her, to pull her close and kiss her again full and firm. But he couldn't. It wouldn't be right. He looked to the object in his hands. She did this for him. Whatever he had against Tyler he owed to Ashley, which meant he owed her his relationship with Lydia. It was funny how irony worked in the end.

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"It's hopeless," Sawyer shrieked slamming the magazine shut. She looked over to Lydia who was smirking wildly. "You know you could go home instead of hanging here."

"Are you kicking out your favorite cousin?" Lydia questioned still mocking her. "I'm hurt."

"Well either help me plan Logan's party or go home to whatever you're avoiding," Sawyer countered with a knowing grin. "Your choice."

"What's there to plan? Get some pizza and a couple movies. I'm sure Logan would love that."

Sawyer shook her head picking up another catalog. "No okay, this is an important birthday and I will not let it go by unnoticed."

"But didn't Logan say he didn't want to do anything special?"

"Please," Sawyer scoffed. "When we were younger Logan wanted to skip middle school and go straight for college."

"Because he watched too many Doogie Houser reruns?" Lydia asked confused.

"No it's proof Logan has never been good at deciding what he really wants," Sawyer replied. "Besides right now all I need is to pick him the perfect gift. Any ideas?"

"For what?" Peyton asked as she and Jake entered carrying take out bags. "We brought Chinese by the way."

"Sawyer's trying to pick out a birthday present for Logan," Lydia answered as she grabbed plates from the cabinet.

"I thought you already got him a gift, like a month ago?" Peyton inquired.

"Mom that was BBS," Sawyer responded, but Peyton just gave her a confused look so she explained. "Before boyfriend status."

"Sorry I guess I'm not up on the lingo," she joked looking at Jake. "Did you know that?"

"Oh yea teen slang, got that down," he replied with sarcasm. "Well what did you already get him? If you don't mind me asking."

"You're going to help pick out a gift?" Peyton asked in disbelief.

"I am the only guy in to room, so I think I can at least offer a new perspective." To which Peyton stuck her tongue out.

Sawyer rolled her eyes focusing on Jake. "Well I got him this custom guitar strap with the band's logo embossed on it. Not something a girlfriend would get."

"You could write him a song," Jake offered. "I mean unless you don't write music."

A smile crossed Sawyer's face and a melody started to form in her head. "That is the greatest idea ever. Thanks Jake," she added rushing out of the room, but turned back quickly. "Oh I'll be working on this most of the night. Sorry Lyds."

"Its fine," her cousin replied jumping from her stool. "I should get home any way."

As Lydia passed Sawyer clutched her arm. "You sure you're okay?" she whispered.

"Yes, go write Logan the best song ever," Lydia answered, with a small grin. "Really I should go do homework anyway."

"K, I'll call you later," Sawyer watched her cousin leave knowing there was something more going on with her. But Lydia was a Scott through and through. If she didn't want anyone to know chances are Hell would freeze over before you found out.

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He knew it was too good to be true. Teaching was awesome, and the idea of basketball tryouts later this week made him nearly giddy with anticipation. But detention was something Jamie really didn't like. He was new to the whole teaching thing so the students tried the whole time to annoy him into letting them leave early. It was nearly two hours of torture, where he barely got any grading done. He'd never been happier to see his front porch in all his life. What he hadn't expected to see what his little sister perched on the steps clearly trying to calm her tears.

"Dani, what are you doing out here?" He questioned taking a seat on the step next to her.

"Mom and Dad are fighting," she replied with a sniffle. He pulled her close wrapping her in a hug. "Are they gonna break up?"

"What? No." Jamie moved her to face him. "Parents argue, even ours. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"But they never fought in front of us before. And they're in there yelling with Jessie sitting in her play pen," Dani explained with a sigh. "I just want things to go back to normal."

"Me too," Jamie responded, nudging her side. "Now come on. You take Jessie upstairs and I'll talk to Mom and Dad. Okay?"

She nodded and Jamie stood leading her inside. He could hear his parent's voices carrying from the kitchen. A look to the stairway showed Luca and Keith were also listening to Nathan and Haley. Dani picked up the baby and made her way to the steps.

"Go upstairs you guys," Jamie whispered. "I promise I'll talk to them."

The kids nodded and Jamie watched as they made their way up. Hanging his head he walked towards the growing argument.

"Someone had to make the decisions while you were gone Haley. I did what I thought was right for our daughter," Nathan's voice evened. Jamie could tell his father was trying to keep himself in check.

"You could have called me, discussed it with me? I'm her mother. I had a right to know," Haley retorted.

"And as her father I have a right not to be berated about this. You weren't here okay?! And the whole reason she was going to lose her status at school was because she went to go see _you_!"

"Well I'm sorry Nathan," she snapped. "Sorry I was dealing with things and _trying _to get better for my family."

"Excuse me," Jamie interjected. Clearly his parents had forgotten that anyone was in the house because the second he spoke Nathan and Haley's faces crossed with shame. "Sorry to bother you, but I had Dani take Jessie upstairs away from the fighting. Not that it would matter because I'm sure they can hear you across town."

"I'm gonna go get the kids ready for bed," Nathan commented and left the kitchen. Jamie waited until he was sure Nathan was upstairs before speaking again. "He did the best he could, Mom."

At first he was sure she hadn't heard him. Haley's eyes were fixed on something in the backyard, like she was in a trance, until she spoke. "I let you guys down. I never should of left."

"We understand the leaving part, the need to get better. But you were gone for months Mom. Things had to change around here or everything was gonna fall apart."

"It feels like it did," she whispered, turning to face him. "I mean you gave up your career in the NBA for this. I never wanted any of you to have to sacrifice your dreams."

Jamie slowly made his way over wrapping his mother in a hug. "I'm happy. I may not be playing for the Bobcats, but I have a great life." Pulling back they both leaned against the counter. "We all do. It's just going to take time for things to be okay again."

"How much time until your sister stops hating me?"

Jamie shook his head letting out a small chuckle. "She is a teenage girl. I mean I may not know much but I do know that generally comes with the territory."

"Not like this. I just want her to know that I'm not going anywhere, ever again." Haley smiled softly at him. "Speaking of girls, you wanna fill me in on the one from the party?"

"She's just a friend," Jamie replied, but as the grin spread across his face he knew his mom wouldn't believe him.

Haley rolled her eyes. "Does this 'friend' have a name?"

"Jenny," he responded still smiling. "She's a counselor at the high school."

"And you like her," Haley countered nudging his side. "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy."

"Are you happy?" Jamie took a deep breath, not wanting to meet her eyes. "I only ask because, you and Dad don't usually fight like that. I mean I only remember it ever getting really bad once. And that was a long, long time ago."

"Your dad and I are going to be fine," she replied. "I promise."

He yawned, standing up straight. "I think I'm off to bed. Got another long day with many more papers to grade."

He looked at her again, but Haley was back to staring out the window. The last time he's parents really fought they almost broke up. He remembered how miserable he felt back then. It didn't matter though. Jamie wouldn't let his parents break up, not if he could help it.

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She pulled her jacket close around herself, glancing towards the alleys entrance. Not that it was really cold in the September evening air, but more for what she was doing. She had done many wrong things over the years. From 'borrowing' Davis' dad's car, to breaking into the school for a late night dip in the pool. But those seemed mild compared to the betrayal she was committing now.

Footsteps hit the pavement behind her in a steady rhythm, but she already knew who it was. Tyler's eyes shone brightly in the light of the moon as a grin crossed his face.

"So did he buy it?" he asked closing the gap between them.

"I don't know if he opened it. I didn't stick around to find out," Ashley replied with a glare. "I honestly don't think this is a good idea."

"Come on, he deserves this. He's playing you, playing Lydia. It's time Baker gets taken down a peg or two," he paused leaning towards her ear. "Besides the second I'm king of this school you can help me rule it."

He brushed his finger across her cheek causing Ashley to step back. "I told you I have no interest in you. I'm only helping so Davis will be rid of that loser girlfriend of his and be free to see me without feeling guilty. You're nothing but a means to an end."

He pressed her back to the wall, holding her wrists firmly in his hands. "Doesn't mean we can't have a bit of fun, does it?"

"Trust me," she whispered, wrenching her arms from his grasp. "That's exactly what it means."

She pushed past him making her way to the street. "It's funny how loyal you are," he called out, and she could hear the mockery in his tone. "Considering the guy is dating another girl."

Ashley whipped herself around stalking back towards him. She shoved Tyler into the wall knocking the breath out of him. "Let's get one thing straight. You don't understand my relationship with Davis, you _never_ will. So don't go around pretending you get it."

She pulled back stalking off again. "Phase two starts on Friday," he called after her but she didn't stop. Not until she reached her car. Staring across the road at Bakerman, she felt her heart sink. What was she doing? She knew how Davis processed things. Act first, deal with the fall out second. Funny thing about a fall out though, if you're not careful, the landslide will go either direction. And there was no way he'd prepare for the debris to hit him.


End file.
